It's that time again, folks—the time for a new generation of Pokemon games and all of the hype and new Pokemon that comes with it. However, isn't this just that, another set of Pokemon games? Is there really anything special about it, any reason to get them this time around? What has changed? Well, SkyBlueFox and I set out to discuss these types of questions in our dual X and Y review. Throughout this article, SkyBlueFox's opinions will be denoted in blue whilst mine will be in red.

Of course there will always be those who wish to live in the past with the original 151, but let's live in the present with the advent of the first main story Pokemon game in 3D!

I'm not sure whether to bother mentioning anything about the story, given it's already a fairly small part of Pokemon games (even BW1 and EoS, and I love those games/stories to pieces) and the fact that XY has a paper-thin story in the first place. I'm thinking I might do a blog post breaking the whole thing down once I finish the game, but, well, that won't be for a while.

Now that that's out of the way, how about we discuss the new Pokemon added themselves, along with the Fairy type? I like nearly every single one that I've seen, both in-game so far and through the leaks of the game before it was officially released, and that's a surprise as normally there's a few in each generation that I feel neutral about (though I don't truly hate or despite any of them). Unfortunately, while I like them, I can't help but feel like they're spread much too thinly through the region. Helioptile, for example, I was expecting to be Gen VI's equivalent to Gen IV's Shinx, which I caught quite a ways before getting to the first gym in those games. Instead, I was disappointed to find out that Helioptile shows up just before the second gym, at which point the player will likely have a fairly high-level team due to the gap of time between the first and second gyms.

Part of this comes from the fact that Kalos is an absolutely huge region, but part of it is also due to the inclusion of all sorts of older Pokemon as well. Gen VI introduces the least amount of Pokemon ever in a single generation, with only around 70 newcomers showing their face (not counting a rumored three more event Pokemon that may be downloadable content). To compensate for this, Kalos is chock-full of Pokemon spanning all of the five previous generations, and by splitting the Pokedex into three separate chunks (Central Kalos, Coastal Kalos and Mountain Kalos), it means that the amount of Pokemon that Kalos contains is buffed up quite considerably. However, this also ends up evoking similar feelings to Gen IV, which added a very small amount of completely new Pokemon (just 78) and compensated by having lots of older Pokemon show up, some with new evolutions or pre-evolutions (depending on how cynical you are about Gen IV, some may call this 'padding out the Pokedex').

The reason this is annoying to me, and likely to a lot of other people, is because part of the fun of playing a new generation of Pokemon for the first time is seeing the truly new additions. It's an extremely common choice for Pokemon veterans to forego using most older Pokemon in a new game and try to make a team of newcomers. Gen V pulled this off with aplomb, mainly because BW1 actively forced this caveat on players. With Gen VI, on the other hand, the new additions are sprinkled so widely across the region that it's actually easier to make a team of only older Pokemon than it is to have a team of only new ones.


All I can say about the story without giving out spoilers is that to start there really isn't much. You do have a small story with your friends/neighbors, but you just met them and they don't give you a real reason to do anything except "you can be good!". They don't even explain why you are supposed to fill out your Pokedex, except that the professor wants you to. There's not scientific reason behind it, apparently. The main villains. Team Flare, also don't do much of anything until halfway into the game, and they don't seem serious at all until the very end. However, the finishing parts to the story are really strong, so it's worth seeing them.

As far as the Pokemon themselves go, I personally don't have a problem with only a small number of Pokemon being added. This is partially due to the fact that they created the new Mega Evolutions, which as I believe you mentioned earlier are temporary evolutions of previous generation Pokemon into a stronger form through a held item. This breathes a bit of life into the older Pokemon. Not to mention there were a number of Pokemon who were re-typed and new moves added, and as a result move pools were swapped around. This also isn't significant to most people, but a good number of Pokemon in this generation have had a stat buff, usually 10 points raised in a single base stat, like Pidgeot gaining another 10 Speed. As far as competitive battling goes, this can have a big impact, especially in the case of Speed, where Speed can a lot of times determine who wins.

On the subject of Fairy-type again, I personally love a lot of the new Fairy-types, though they did kind of go generic and make a ton of pink Pokemon, or re-typed pink Pokemon to be Fairy-type. Still, their existence means a lot to the game, especially where the type effectiveness chart lies. Steel and Poison not only resist Fairy-type but are also super effective against Fairy, which in the case of Poison which only had Grass it was super effective against, it's a big help. Fairies also are immune to Dragon-type attacks and super-effective against the powerful Dragon, Dark, and Fighting types. Oh, and Ghost doesn't resist Fairy, so you can guess what that means: Sableye and Spiritomb no longer have no weakness.

The effect of the game from the new type and stat changes, in addition to the inclusion of Mega Pokemon, alters the game in a big way, even if there's not as many new Pokemon.

"Help--We can't see!"

Well I mean I ended up spoiling myself a mild amount on the story, so I know the general gist of what goes on in it; I just don't think it's very well-put-together. It lacks a lot of the details that made BW1's (and to a lesser extent Platinum's) story so enjoyable and engaging, and it's mostly a string of events put together without any thought as to how they tie together beyond the surface details, which is what I mean by paper-thin. It's hard for me to explain properly without taking over the entire review, which is why I'm probably going to cover it in a blog post instead. Most people don't play Pokemon for the story anyway, so it becomes a bit of a moot point either way.

I haven't gotten to the point yet where I can perform Mega Evolution myself (and since I'm limiting myself to a four-Pokemon team of newcomers, I won't be using Mega Evolutions myself anyway), but I have encountered a couple Mega-Evolved Pokemon in link battles with other people. Due to the fact that the ability to transfer Pokemon over from BW1 and 2 isn't available yet, I can't make a good judgment on how Mega Evolution will affect the competitive scene, but in-game I feel that it's a bit of a mixed bag. It's reminiscent of the added pre-evolutions and evolutions of older Pokemon that Gen IV included, except the Mega Evolutions are temporary and require the held Mega Stone in battle instead of being a straight-up new Pokemon. It's an interesting idea and I'm sure that we'll see plenty of teams using Mega Evolutions, but I can't help but feel like these are a feature that are going to last through Gen VI and then never show up again, which turns Mega Evolutions into more of a gimmick than a feature. Gimmicks are better left to things like Contests in Gen III and IV, or the Musical of V.

Of course, that's all just me speculating, so only time will tell how Mega Evolutions will be seen later on. Overall, though, I just have a gut feeling that they're going to fall by the wayside, just like how a lot of the evolutions and pre-evolutions of Gen IV fell by the wayside after Gen IV ended.

I do think that the changes and upheavals to the type matchup system are a good thing, though. I'm actually having a little trouble at times remembering that Fairy is a type now, which often throws wrenches into my would-be well-laid plans. It also brings up an interesting, if tangentially related, point about how Gen II added Steel and Dark, which were quite easy for most players at the time to adapt to. A lot of people I know are getting tripped up sometimes because they forget about the fair folk; perhaps it's true that it's harder to teach an old trainer new tricks after all. Fairy's addition also helps to patch up a few small things, like how Dark/Ghosts Sableye and Spiritomb have a weakness now.

I was mentioning this earlier today and yesterday in the thread itself, but something I'm not fond of is the way that the game attempts to discourage grinding. I'm a bit of a grindaholic and will often grind even when I absolutely don't need to do so in RPGs, but even I understand the tedium that level-grinding is to a lot of people. But as I was saying in the thread, I think XY tried too hard to make grinding easy or unnecessary for players. There's lots of changes that make leveling your Pokemon up much, much easier. EXP Share now shares points with everyone in the party instead of just one. Pokemon in general give out more EXP when defeated. Playing with Pokemon in Pokemon-Amie can eventually net them a permanent bonus to their EXP gain (Pokemon you caught get 1.5x instead of 1x; Pokemon you've been traded get 2x instead of 1.5x!). Catching Pokemon now gives your Pokemon EXP.

That all sounds good on paper, but when put into practice it becomes so overwhelming that it makes the game far, far too easy. Combined with the fact that Kalos has a very strong level curve that doesn't correspond to this ease of EXP gain, it turns the game into an utter cakewalk, even moreso than the previous Pokemon titles. Making a game easy and trying to discourage grinding is one thing (and it's something that BW1 and to a lesser extent 2 did very well), but making it so that I'm avoiding battling trainers or even encountering wild Pokemon because I'm too strong and don't want to get stronger is another thing entirely. I imagine that this issue grows less and less of one as the game progresses, but the fact that it even is an issue at all has raised many an eyebrow.

Some old Pokemon now Fairy-type, and a new one.

There is still plenty of grinding involved in the game when it comes to the competitive scene. Horde Mode and Super Training have in some ways simplified EV training as it were, but there are still lots of items that you must battle to obtain in the Battle Maison after the game, as well as needing to breed Pokemon of the right nature, and while IVs even have become simpler to obtain, they are still a chore. I find it easier to grind in this game, but I would by no means call it easy outside of the main storyline. Trying to train an Aerodactyl to use just before the Elite Four was still tedious and a bit tiresome, but didn't bother me as much as in older games. Even the Battle Maison is more bearable to endure, as I actually try to attempt to gain the points this time as opposed to just giving up. It still took over 4 hours to obtain the 7 items I wanted, 2 of which were inexpensive as per the norm.

I would completely agree that for the most part it is simplified though, especially considering on the competitive scene you no longer are forced to level your Pokemon up to 100 to be able to play. Then again, there are currently no ways to cheat your way into level 100 Pokemon either, so people do actually have to legitimately train their Pokemon before playing one another.

Is there anything else you wanted to say on the subject of grinding?


Well I didn't mean that grinding everything in the game is easy. I haven't gotten to the Maison yet but I'm sure that battling for BP and useful competitive items is still as hard as it's ever been. I was mainly talking about just straight up EXP points and leveling up. I'm training a team of three Pokemon currently, and all three are nearing level 36. I've only just finished the second gym and the wild Pokemon are in their early level 20s, while the Pokemon that trainers have are in their mid level 20s. I had a much more grind-y - and, ironically, much more enjoyable and fulfilling - time trying to level up a Pikachu and Litleo before the first gym so they'd be around the same level as my Chespin. It's sort of like the level curve in Johto (both in GSC in Gen II and HGSS in Gen IV), where training one or two Pokemon was much more bearable than training a full team (which is what the game devs expect people to do).

I don't have much else to say about the grinding (or rather the lack of it), though. Summed up, XY looks and sounds good and has a lot of great new features that I'd love to see as permanent new additions (Pokemon-Amie, PSS and Super Training, trainer customization), but it comes at the expense of the story and the main gameplay itself, with the former being lackluster (which is worse than if the game simply had an excuse plot, like RBY or GSC) and the latter being easy enough that you can snap the difficulty in half as early as after the first gym. The new things that XY brings to the table are for the most part really, really good, but the flaws that XY also brings to the table are also very, very glaring.

I am interested in hearing what you took issue with, though, given that I'm mostly speaking with the experience of someone taking it slow and very gradually, while you've beaten the game already (I think) and have firsthand experience with most of the game by now.


Yes, I recently finished the game and have and began working on a team, or, multiple teams, to play online. However, there were some things that bothered me a great deal when going through the games, even when going back to certain places to do things.

Something very early in the games you will discover is that you can run straight away, which is cool, and while you are still snapped to a grid while running despite this is a 3D game, it's not a problem to me. On the other hand, before the first gym of the game you battle someone who, upon defeating, gives you a pair of roller skates you can use to ride around which actually don't snap you to the grid. This sounds cool, and in fact admittedly looks a bit cool, but it creates a nightmare situation when you find out that the rollerskates are rather unwieldy to control due to their speed and the way they don't automatically conform to moving you in straight lines. This also causes trouble when you try to talk to somebody or do something after having rode around on your skates, as since you are not attached to the grid but the characters are, it requires some positioning to accomplish at times, even if you just hop off your skates.

The worst part of it to me, though, is that the skates are automatically bound to your circle pad on the 3DS, and there is no way to turn it off in the key items menu like with the EXP Share, even though there are very little times when the skates are absolutely required to do something in the story, one of the gyms being the only example I can think of. I personally use the circle pad almost exclusively when I play because it is the easiest to position my thumb onto, with the directional pad for walking, in addition to having to hold B to run being awkward now. Thankfully, there is a way around this later on if you are unable to get used to the controls of the skates, though. If you equip the Dowsing Machine, your character won't go onto their skates when you use the Circle Pad, since the Dowsing Machine operates based on the grid. This means that you can walk and run using the Circle Pad instead of the D-Pad. As I said, with practice you do actually learn how to use the skates better, but it still causes problems for me every now and again, and especially did so for me at the start of my game.

Another big issue for me were the forced camera angles in the game. Most of the time, this isn't an issue, and the moving camera allows for you a lot of times to see some rather neat looking backgrounds or features, but there are some times when it is downright frustrating for me. The biggest example I can think of is when attempting to backtrack through a route, cave, or especially in the dreaded Lumiose City. Your character spins around toward the camera, but the camera does not, and you can't see as well, or sometimes at all, objects as you are coming toward them. In Lumioise City, which by itself is a nightmare to navigate already, there are tons of objects like trees blocking signs as you move through the avenues, and backtracking you can't see half of what you normally could.

There's a ton more I could complain about the city in addition to the fact that it is pretty much solely responsible for a recent game patch due to corrupted saves in its streets, but I'll keep it to myself.

No, it's actually not.

Ahh... yes, I'd forgotten about the skates. I rarely if ever use them myself, and in general the complaints I have about them are the same as yours. I do think, however, that part of the issue is the fact that one of the skating tricks with using them is a "sprint" function where if you push the circle pad quickly in one direction, you will start speed-skating in that direction at a high speed. You'll ease off into the standard speed after a second or two, but considering that most people will press the pad all the way forward when using it because that's how control sticks have functioned since Super Mario 64, it can throw a lot of people off. I honestly find hopping on the bike and controlling it with the circle pad much more enjoyable since it's a fixed speed.

I don't dislike Lumiose quite as much as you do, but I think it's because that's where the roller skates really shine. Skating around Lumiose makes it far easier to navigate simply because the camera controls exactly how you'd expect it to that way. When you're not on the skates? It controls a bit like a dungeon-crawler game, where turning around will spin the camera around to face that direction, then you press forward to move forward. Getting around Lumiose on foot is unwieldy and it's a surprising slip-up considering that skating does it the right way (and, notably, the way that most 3D games have been using cameras since Super Mario 64, again).

It's for that reason that I think the roller skates were design for the very open areas in mind, without regard for how well they'd work in more crowded or narrow passages or trails. Lumiose City is huge, and it lacks a lot of obstacles for the player to bump into, meaning that they're free to skate to their heart's content. A place like Route 7, which is a big stretch of land in a line with no obstacles, is another good example. Parfum Palace's courtyard is pretty good too. Where they don't shine, though, is a place like Camphrier Town, which is small and decorated well but those decorations are hard to react to (ie: skate around on the move). Similarly, a place like Route 10 which is full of rocks, is also a pain for the skates because of the medley of rocks scattered about that impede progress and are easier to get around on foot. The last place I actually used the roller skates because I wanted to use them was in Lumiose City, and the last time I was there was over a week ago at least.

I don't find it terribly difficult to navigate so far, but then again I'm also restricted to only the southern half and the one avenue. I think it's interesting that there's other modes of travel, like the Gogoat Shuttle and the Taxi Cabs, but overall getting used to Lumiose on my first visit was fairly easy. As for the entire city, that will likely be a bit more overwhelming, but thankfully multiple people have made maps of the city along with map keys pointing out each location.

I guess we should also talk about the bottom screen features, like the PSS. How much have you used it and what do you think of it? I haven't tried everything with it, but it's still an incredible improvement on the online features from Gens IV and V. Much smoother and more accessible.


Personally, I have used the PSS hub a lot more than either Pokemon Aime or Super Training. You can spend lots of times on those two features and gain strength and bond with your Pokemon, and it is a nice distraction from the main game, but my personal goals are better suited to the features of the PSS. More specifically, O-Powers.

O-Powers are a brand new feature to the game that give you boosts in the game for 3 minutes with each use. In some ways, you can consider this cheap or cheaty, as O-Powers can do things such as boost your critical hit ratio or increase your Pokemon's Attack power. However, there are other O-Powers that are helpful in a way that is more passive and doesn't necessarily help break the game. For instance, there is an O-Power that heals your Pokemon over time, and an O-Power that makes it easier to catch Pokemon. My personal favorite that some people may find cheap is the Prize Money O-Power that increases money won from battles.

I could go on and on about how these powers work and the different kinds, but I think that's enough information jammed in people's brains for now.


I've spent some time doing Wonder Trades in the PSS (you choose a Pokemon to put in, and you'll get a random one out of the deal; I've gotten quite lucky!), but that's mainly about it. Since saving the game doesn't take nearly as long as the other games, and connecting is fairly quick for me, Wonder Trading is really quick and easy, and I've filled up a fair portion of the Pokedex already through it alone.

I've spent a lot of time in Pokemon-Amie and Super Training, though, and they're both also pretty welcome additions. Pokemon-Amie is a bit more complex than it looks actually. On the surface it's a very cutesy, fun little thing; your Pokemon can imitate your movements through the 3DS' camera (though rather unreliably, I've noticed), it'll react to some sounds, and you can pet it.

The main meat of it is the three stats: Affection, Fullness and Enjoyment. Affection is the most important, since high Affection nets you some impressive bonuses. What makes this important is the kind of benefits your Pokemon can get from having high affection. At one point, there's no visible difference, but upon getting two points the Pokemon will start getting extra Experience Points. At three points, it'll start looking at you during turns in battle (as well as having different quips, such as "Chespin is awaiting Trainer's command" or "Chespin is curious about Trainer's Bag..."), and you can rub the touch screen after the foe faints to give it a mid-battle pat. Later point can give you even better benefits, like being able to shake off status effects or enduring a knockout with a single hitpoint (to avoid disappointing you, no less).

Super Training, on the other hand, delves into the nitty-gritty numbers of mechanics, as it's a minigame to increase your Pokemon's EVs (invisible points for each stat that increases them with enough points invested). It comes both with a handy graph that maps out how the Pokemon's EVs are distributed, as well as how many EVs you've distributed total (once you've distributed all the EVs, it becomes Fully-Trained). The minigame itself involves shooting soccer balls at balloon versions of Pokemon, aiming for targets. Hit enough targets within a time limit and you win the minigame, netting you some EVs and a training bag that you can use to get extra benefits. It's fun, if a bit repetitive, and you can unlock harder versions that give bigger payouts.

Pikachu is Pokemon Aime. "Pika-pika!" (Now Pikachu's actual cry in-game)

The only thing I can comment on further for Pokemon Aime might be based on personal problems I have with the mini games. The berry mini-game within it is all and well by itself, but I have trouble with the other two, and if I am then I think little kids probably have a large amount of trouble as well. The Head It mini-game where you bounce balls off your Pokemon's head especially bothers me, as it involves timing movements based on the movement of items moving from the top screen to the bottom, which is extremely difficult for me, especially with the way my 3DS is typically situated.

The puzzle game also doesn't do you many favors, as the images you are working on, even in Easy mode, are moving, and the pieces that aren't are mostly similar to one another and don't give you many clues as to where they may go. Because the image is based on your current Party, it may be possible to make the images easier to understand. It's not to say that the puzzles are -hard- by any stretch, just that they are more difficult than one would expect at lower difficulty levels.

In regards to Super Training, when you are first starting to get the hang of things the EV training aspect actually takes longer than it would to grind EVs by battling a specific Pokemon repeatedly. This is because the mini-game involves shooting balls into a goal while dodging incoming balls from the enemy. While not difficult early on, it will take time to get used to the different ways each Pokemon can shoot their balls, and some stages as you get to the higher ones, while rewarding you with more EVs upon completion, can be rather difficult or time-intensive. It can depend on your learning curve and your pace, but as time progresses it becomes a quicker and more fun way to gain EVs, if not just a slight break from the repetitive grind.


I dunno, personally I really like the puzzle game a lot. Sometimes I get a little thrown off, but mainly I use the typical puzzle strategy of finding the corners and edges first, and then the rest tends to fall into place pretty easily.

I still haven't unlocked the higher levels of Super Training yet (meaning I've been playing the level 1 minigames for Attack, Defense, and Special Attack and Defense), so overall my experience with that hasn't been very minimal. It has helped the two Pokemon I've trained using it become quite powerful for how early in the game I am, though. I did the same thing when I played Black 2, EV training essentially all six of my permanent team members before I'd gotten to even the first gym (albeit through the traditional method), but the difference it made wasn't quite as jarring as it has been in X.

I've been trying some of the other features of the PSS, like the O-Powers, and while I haven't gotten any huge benefits out of them yet, the ones I've sent to other people have generally been lucky (a friend of mine got a Defense Boost power from both me and someone else, which helped him to just barely scrape out a win in a battle). There are others that were more helpful, like an O-Power that lowers store prices (and it may just be me but money is somewhat harder to come by this time around). Battle-related O-Powers seem more up to chance.

The New Starter Pokemon.

I don't think I have much else to say on the subject, so unless you have anything to add maybe we should talk about the visuals of the games--one of the most important aspects of this new version due to its conversion to 3D.


I think the visuals look pretty good, to be frank about it. It's clear that a lot of meticulous work was put into the look of everything, and since the theme of the games (and likely the generation as a whole) seems to be "beauty", I think it makes a lot of sense. All the Pokemon I've caught so far and played with in Pokemon-amie or Super Training and the like have had a variety of expressions, poses and animations, and in battle the graphics don't hinder the experience at all since the battle animations are slick and speedy. I do notice a bit of slowdown sometimes whenever the battles show a split-screen view of both your Pokemon and your opponent's, but that's quite uncommon and not anything slow enough to be anything more than a bump in the road.

One thing I'm both pleased by and bummed about is the change in trainer sprites. The rivals and important characters get 3D models (the player character, the friendly rivals, the professor, Team Flare, etc), but the more run-of-the-mill trainers are now represented by their official Sugimori artwork instead of sprites. I like it because the artwork itself is very nice to look at, but they do lack the same kind of... "edit-ability", I suppose, that sprites have. There's also a minor nitpick in that the artwork has no animation like all the trainers in BW1 and BW2 did. It's a small gripe, though.

Kalos itself is quite strikingly pretty, in a different way from the other regions to boot. It's hard to put my finger on what word I'd use, but a few years ago I actually visited Paris (Kalos' inspiration), and someone told me that it was more "old-fashioned" than something like New York City or elsewhere, and I think right now that's the best term I can use. The towns and cities like Aquacorde, Santalune and Camphrier aren't particularly technological or even "modern" on the outside; stone bricks, fountains, rustic houses. Lumiose, Kalos' equivalent to Unova's Castelia (the Paris to the NYC), is a mix of the two; it's quite technological in some aspects but also manages to capture an older type of charm. I think this is what Game Freak was going for in the region's design, and they did it well.


I have to agree with you about that. They made it obvious from the day that the game was announced that it was meant to be beautiful, and in many respects it is, in my own opinion of course. Some people believe it to look hideous in comparison to the older generations, but I simply don't see it. The part about being able to alter sprites is a minor gripe, as while I also had fun editing sprites in the past, you couldn't have expected them to stick to that forever, and it's something than only affects a specific set of people.

The new 3D models look strange when you see them out of the game to me, but in-game they fit in very well, owning up to what I believe most people's expectations when they heard it was going to be a 3D Pokemon game. They even added special animations to most Pokemon, and purposely made some such as Quagsire mostly unmoving to fit with their personalities as Pokemon. There's also two different animations for the Pokemon itself depending on the attack it is using, and I think it's a great touch. Other than that, Magikarp flopping on its side throughout the entire battle is something you have to see for yourself.

As far as the towns and that go, the differing designs for houses and even the ground of the town ranging from more artistic to rustic depending on which you're in makes for some great variation, making it harder to mistake one place for another. Outside of towns there are even a variety of tall grasses instead of either "tall grass" or "extremely long tall grass". Those two are still in the game, but now there are flower patches you can find Pokemon in, hayfields, and "dark patches" in some caves. I personally enjoy this touch a lot, though it can be annoying as some Pokemon don't show up in certain patches, so you have to learn where they each live.

However, it is important to note that while this game is in 3D and there are 3D sprites, 60% of the time 3D will be turned off, with the overworld not being rendered this way. I personally never use 3D on the 3DS, though, so it's really no problem for me.

The Deliberation

Other than the lack of story until late game and the other problems I listed, I overall find these new Pokemon X and Y games to be refreshing and fun, if not more fun to me than previous generations since I feel as though I can actually participate in online play (though truth be told, this also has to do with how the 3DS now works well with my internet). If you're planning to just play for the campaign, I think the people who hold nostalgia for the games will have a lot more fun than newcomers. Mostly due to the large amounts of nods to the older games.

If you're new to the Pokemon series, you will more than likely gain little from the story, probably even from its climax, since the villains are much more underwhelming than before, though their eventual goal becomes more sinister than most.

I also want to go out saying that due to the Friend Safari feature I and many people I know have been forced to connect with other players in a whole new way, and form positive bonds as a result of this. The game becomes much more social in some aspects when you are trying to add more friends and get to discuss this shared interest and trade Pokemon as well as stories.


I'd say those are about my overall thoughts as well, though I'm also rather torn because I love BW1 so much. BW1 didn't add a lot to the table in terms of gameplay mechanics, but breathed some much needed new life into the franchise in terms of its aesthetic, pacing and general presentation; Pokemon were animated in battle and the camera was dynamic, the slow speed of Gen IV was thankfully sped up, the story was solid and touched on aspects of the universe that typically saw no mention outside of fan work, it made a lot of small tweaks and touch-ups (like the Repel wore off, use another? thing), it had a smooth level curve and a smart EXP system to discourage grinding, etc etc. It also moved the series into a far more dynamic, 3D world than Gen IV ever did. The best metaphor I can make for it is that BW1 took apart the Lego set that was the series, rebuilt the Lego set in a smarter and more efficient way, and polished it up to make it look even better than it did before. It didn't add any new pieces to the set, but it didn't really need to.

XY, on the other hand, adds a lot of really neat gameplay features that help to make the game and its players feel connected and "alive", so to speak; the PSS is one of the best implementations of online in any Nintendo game I've ever seen, Pokemon-Amie is a wonderful addition that helps players to get emotionally attached with a Pokemon while offering in-game benefits, Super Training helps with EV training immensely and is fun. The move into total and true 3D is also a stunning touch and the focus on making the world of Kalos look as good as it does paid off well. However, it doesn't have nearly as good of a story as BW1 did, its level curve and EXP system work too well, and non-grid movement is flawed, all of which hampers the experience. XY is when a few new pieces were added to the Lego set that was Pokemon, but not all of those pieces helped to keep the set as streamlined as BW1 was.

Ultimately I don't know if I can choose either one as the "better" game. But if people are fans of Pokemon, or want to get into the series, XY is probably the way to go right now, if only because it's the most recent game and it's the one people will be playing most of the time now.

Underneath the latent geekyness of Youtube Poop, there are a couple aspects of this odd pastime that have always amazed me. Number one, there are no rules - pretty much anything you want to do you can, and what's there to stop you (aside from the occasional copyright strike)? Number two, Youtube Poop is a worldwide phenomenon. Many of the poopers I've met over the years aren't from the same country as me, and some don't even speak the same language as me. Yet here we are united under this common artistic banner. Youtube Poop has afforded me the chance to learn about other parts of the world in a way that wasn't possible twenty years ago.

Now that the obligatory rambling is out of the way, lets talk about TimoteiLSD, a Finnish pooper I've admired for quite some time. Chances are pretty good you've seen one or two of his poops even if you don't realize it. He has a reasonably fast paced and distinctive style which in my opinion, combines the best of the older and newer pooping styles. You'll find a fair amount of visual effects and odd noises in his work, but it's also mixed together with a nice variety of sentence mixing jokes, along with plenty of clever photoshop and masking gags. I've gone on record before talking about this guy's comedic timing; he always seems to know just the right bits to repeat and just how long to pause before hitting you with an off the wall visual.

I got the chance to talk with him recently about what makes him tick. I was only slightly worried that the might be a quiet guy who I'd have to pull the answers from, but it was much the opposite. Never at a loss for words, he spoke frankly about his feeling on Youtube, making poops, and other artistic ventures, all the while interjecting a colorful barrage of obscenities that kept the mood light. He was also quite modest and appreciative of his success in the poop community. If you aren't familiar with his work, take this opportunity to get acquainted with this humorous and talented guy.

What can you tell us about your name? Does it mean anything?

First off, Timotei, it does not come from a shampoo at all...Timotei is a Finnish word that means timothy (like the plant) and it stems from the elementary years during English classes because my "English name" there was Timothy, which you could easily turn into Timotei and it was funny. it's a big of a shout out to my days of youth, I guess. My first name on YouTube was TimoteiLOL, and then TimoteiAIDS, and now TimoteiLSD. The basis for that was always Timotei, and some supposedly funny abbreviation.

Do you remember a particular poop or pooper that inspired you to get involved in YTP?

I can't exactly remember the first poop I ever saw, but I do remember one the first ones I saw was a multi source poop with the Johnny Bravo/Scooby Doo crossover episode and the Super Mario World cartoon. I can't remember the author...but I remember it made me laugh a lot! The author also had a few Lion King poops. I believe one of them was called "Hakuna Cocoona". That author/poop was one of the bigger influences in getting me started in poops in the first place.

In terms of Youtube Poop, you’re pretty successful/popular. To what do you attribute your large fanbase?

Well people say that I'm funny apparently...I think what really counts is what they see in me. I can't really go and say much about myself...what I do enjoy about my style is that its quite fast paced yeah? I'm really proud of my sense of pacing in my current YouTube poops, and In addition to that I think there's a good balance of jokes...using just the right amount of jokes with a little surprise moment by the end...I'm very grateful for my fan base and that you enjoy watching this fucking shit. It’s wonderful, thank you.

What sort of reactions have you seen from people when you tell them that you make YTPs?

Well the thing is I don't really go around telling people I do this. One of my very early friends, when I discovered ytp, I started showing them to him, then I shared the ones I made with him, and it was cool because we shared the same sense of humor (or we didn't and I just corrupted him). People usually get to know me through YTP’s and then they're surprised to know how much I enjoy drawing and all kinds of other stuff. And then there are some who knew of my YTP’s, then they got to know me but they had no idea I was the one making them. There are some people I show them to who have the same kind of personality, and when they do see them they say "Oh these are brilliant, keep making them! They are purely a form of art." And then of course there are those who don't enjoy them. Just depends on their personality.

Do you think YTP has any artistic merit?

Yes! Definitely! Absolutely, YTP is a form of art! No doubt about it if you ask me. Quite a few people don't seem to realize how much fucking effort these take, mentally and physically. OK right off, I don't do drugs. I'm completely clear headed when I make YTP’s. These take so much you know; you have to be creative, you have to be stupid, you have to just go with it, or go with your fucking instinct or whatever. Honestly, YTP’s are art. I can't really explain it any further that's just how I see it. YTP’s are art in its purest form.

What is/was your favorite source to use? Why?

I always have a great time using the Super Mario Brothers cartoons. I've only made two videos with “Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva”, but I've always had great fun with that as a source material, and I'm hoping to make a third one with that. The CD-I poops, "I Accidentally Hotel Mario" and "Reverse Cowgirl With a Phillips CD-I", I had an absolute blast working on those, I'm not gonna lie.

It was so great to work with those old, used-to-death sources; stuff that I used on my old accounts probably much more, then to take them out again and completely put a new twist on them with my current style...it was wonderful, dare I say magical.

How do you come up with ideas for poops?
That depends entirely. The Youpipe Shits, those have always been me thinking “Oh, I feel like making one of the Super Mario Bros. 3 cartoon”, and I just do it. I take a few episodes, looking around for what I can do with ‘em, and I just do. There are a few that I planned out a lot more, but quite a lot is me coming up with ideas out of nowhere. I might be watching something on Youtube and I think “this might make a good source”, and I try to implement it, in a nutshell. There’s one coming up that I’m making using AOSTH, which I’ve been planning out for quite a long time, but it will still have plenty of things done on a whim.

On the subject of your most popular poop “I Accidentally Hotel Mario”, what was going through your head when you made this video?
Well… your guess is as good as mine…well not really! I was just looking through sources, and then I just remembered “Hey, this fucking old thing that’s been done to death…why don’t I try making something out of this?” I just wanted to try after not having used it in a long time. I was just taking out old material and converting it to my current style. “I accidentally...” happens to be of the much more fast paced/frantic style, and I just went completely nuts. My though process was “Take Hotel Mario, poop it, don’t over think it, and go completely fucking mental with it.” Beautiful isn’t it?

Do you ever watch your own poops after you make them?

Yes, yes, guilty as charged. Very, very often I do. After I’ve finished with one, I tend to watch it over and over again for a day or two after I’ve posted it to Youtube. I’m watching it repeatedly, thinking “this is a nice part”, “oh, I’m done with this”, whatever. Then I get tired of it and don’t want to watch it for a while, because there’s only so much I can take. Then sometime later on, a month, several months, or a year later, I’ll come back and watch it again, some more than others.

Do any of your videos stand out in your memory as particularly problematic to make or particularly memorable for any reason?

Very, very definitely. There are a few poops where getting anything done was really fucking excruciating. One of my recent ones, Bowser gets a lifetime supply of yeast infections. When I started working on it, I was at a complete loss. I just felt so rusty. “Where do I even begin? What Do I want to do with this?” Eventually everything just started flowing, but there was a day or two before that where I had no idea what to do. It was really painful…in many ways.
Very often I start off swell, and then the flow stops in the middle of nowhere, and then I have to get inhale some fucking clean air, and then the inspiration returns one way or another. My emotions always have a great effect on how I work on a poop.

How long does it take you to make a poop? (How long might you spend working in one sitting?)

Sometimes I spend time playing around with ideas, and then I have to take some breaks, go outside, take a walk, talk with friends, draw something…instead of working on poops. Some shorter ones (2-4 minutes), they take usually less than a week when I can get to them. The longer ones (5-6) minutes are usually more planned out, and they take a week or two…but I usually don’t think about it at all. I just work on it, and I’m done with it at some point.

What do you feel is your favorite/best work?

I think I covered most of how I feel when I was listing my favorite sources…Reverse Cowgirl, Accidentally Hotel Mario, and both the Professor Layton ones…Those four stand out as my favorite works. There are some others I’m fond of…Like my entry for the Robotnik collaboration, “Robotnik Takes Care of his Morning Wood”, also “Batman loses his Batsocks in his Batwashing Machine”.

I have a soft spot for “I. M. Schizophrenic”. That’s a poop where I started picking up my current style much more. And there’s Playstation 3’s Batteries are Sold Separately. I actually did that entirely in one day. I just sat down and was like “bluh bluh bluh bluh”. I went completely fucking mental with it, but I had so much fun doing it.


Do you have any other channels on Youtube?

No, TimoteiLSD is the only channel. I’ve never specifically stated that (using a pompous arrogant voice) “This is my uhhhh YTP channel entirely…uuhhhh if you want to see some other stuff you go over there…if you want to see some OTHER STUFF you go over THERE, and if you don’t you go there… this is gunna be YTP ONLY!”. TimoteiLSD is my only channel right now, because it’s MY CHANNEL, and I can post whatever the fuck I want on there!

What do you do when you’re not making videos? Do you have any other artistic hobbies?

Yes absolutely, many hobbies, and making videos is not the only thing I do people! Just because I don’t do something in a month doesn’t mean I’m dead, it just means I have other better things to do! (laughs) I draw…a lot, which is quite evident on my Tumblr. I’ve also taken an interest in animation, which some of you may already have seen. Also acting and voice acting; I’m part of a hobbyist theater, and just this summer we did Shakespeare’s Macbeth and it was great fun. I have a great big interest in voice acting, and I practice it a lot with friends. We do reading sessions of various things…Then, then, then…There’s the occasional exercising, and I do sing somewhat too. It’s an underplayed activity of mine; it’s the one I least mention to people. I really do enjoy going to karaoke bars with friends…So yeah I do have lots of hobbies, but supposedly that’s a good thing!

What channels on Youtube are you watching? (YTP or otherwise)

Well, actually I’m not subscribed to anyone on Youtube…at all. I just watch whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. I don’t go around looking around for YTP’s. I just stumble upon them. Well there is “GameGrumps”. When I’m drawing I usually just put up two windows, and I’m slightly watching them while I draw, and listening, because that’s the important part. But yeah, I don’t actively follow anyone.

After seeing your video “Of Avians and Rodents”, do you ever consider making original animations?

Fucking hell! All the fucking time! I’ve been meaning to do a whole bunch of animations, but I just lack the time to properly get into it. I’m very interested in it, but it takes time and time is what I’m lacking. I’ve been planning to do so much, but never gotten around to it. For example, for a long time I’ve been meaning to do a follow up to “Nyan Ho”. I mentioned before making an AOSTH poop, and I’m trying to incorporate a noticeable amount of animation into it. I do have flash, and I could actually learn how to put stuff together with it, but I need the time. All the other animations I’ve done are just drawing the individual frames and putting them into Vegas. But even if I learn flash I wouldn’t change my general animation style. I really appreciate frame-to-frame animation because I feel like my drawings are coming properly alive and that’s what I wanna do.

Where do you see yourself in five years in terms of Youtube?

Well, I really fucking hope I’m still making this…I really do. This is a hobby of mine, and I really do enjoy making these videos. Hopefully I’m still making YTP’s, and hopefully I’m making more animations. I’m having such fun making them, but you never know. I hope I’m able to keep this up as long as possible. That’s all I have to say.

About halfway into Miyazaki’s new film, a plane-making visionary named Caproni hauls the protagonist Jiro Hirokoshi onto a massive aircraft, and takes him up top to stand on the wings as they breeze through a fluttering dreamscape. Up there, Caproni turns to Hirokoshi and says, “I’m retiring. This is my final design.”

When I saw that I had to confront a harsh, simple fact: there won’t be any more movies like this. Ever. This is it for the old man, who dare I say, is the most brilliant maker of animated films in the history of the medium. In September, Miyazaki held a press conference and announced that his summer hit would be the last film to receive his directorial stamp. Not everybody believed him due to similar, fraudulent claims he made earlier in his career, but he insisted on announcing it formally, and that was a step he never bothered to take before. Recent reports have also indicated that that he's having trouble with his heart. Let's hope Miyazaki stays well, but not so he can keep making films. Kaze Tachinu has a definite air of finality to it. It most likely is his "final design," and what a fabulous one. Kaze Tachinu is another masterpiece, a fond, supremely moving farewell.

The story seems simple, initially. Jiro is a geeky young guy who decides to spend his life building planes after a dream-version of his idol, Caproni, encourages him. He moves to Tokyo to pursue his passion, and works relentlessly to hone his craft. Through hard work and innovation he becomes one of Japan’s top designers, and develops a maximally efficient design for the navy’s fighters. Meanwhile, he initiates romance with a girl he meets during a disastrous earthquake, which leads to the film’s emotional climax. Hirokoshi’s story unfolds urgently (sometimes disjointedly, even, due to frequent ellipses) but it is peppered with humor, interesting players, and profound side threads.

If one were to take the events of the plot at face value, they’d see a straightforward, sentimental story, similar to other yarns the director’s woven. But this is one is practically nothing like Miyazaki’s earlier films, because the sentimental story on the surface is a facade, and most of the emotion is at a deeper level. Perfect heroes and heroines like Pazu and Sheeta are nowhere to be found. Instead, the characterization is subtle and psychological. Jiro, for starters, is an unreliable narrator who sees the world through rose-tinted lenses. We the viewers know he's not all there because scenes of his everyday life are often seamlessly integrated with fanciful dream-images of flying. When Jiro visualizes airplane designs and their potential functions, he escapes to a fantastic realm, and that realm is every bit as prominent as the sequences occurring in the “real world.” This discrepancy through visuals is the real meat of the piece. Caproni's airplane designs are complex and fantastic, and Jiro's dream-designs are appealingly simplistic. They fly, they explode, they come together and fall apart, all in Jiro's head as pressing dramas unfold around him. Miyazaki's portrayed flying time and time again, but he makes it fresh and absolutely heady.

The subtext is that all the relentless creativity on Jiro's part goes to support Japan’s heinous war effort, and that changes the tone of the piece considerably, while making it difficult for the viewer to believe wholeheartedly in Jiro's actions. Jiro takes a passive stance to politics, and denies the consequences of his insistence to pursue his dream via the military. This stubbornly passive streak is most disturbing when he and his partner Honjo travel to Germany to collaborate with foreign engineers. When Jiro visits, the country is on the brink of falling to fascism, and all he can think is about machines. Even when Gestapo brush past him to chase a man through dark streets at night, he shows no disturbance. That’s a kind of moral abdication extremely uncommon to Miyazaki characters, protagonists especially. It creates difficulties for Jiro later, and the result is a complex, layered story, where the cut-and-dried characterization of “cartoon people” is absent.

Earlier in the movie, citizens storm a failing bank, clambering to have their savings returned.

Nahoko, the romantic lead, is also a bit of a departure from Miyazaki’s typically strong, capable, platonic females. She’s a reserved sufferer who thrives on the lives of others, and never controls or dominates. When she’s with Jiro she shows a soft, tender side, and expresses herself sexually as well as emotionally. However, she melts and caves in to others' demands, and doesn't show any of the fierce determination common to the director's feminine players. At her core, she’s the same girl Miyazaki has been enchanted with since the days of Nausicaa, but she exudes a poignant type of selfless humanity, and serves a very different narrative function. She also has to endure real, adult hardship, and go through trials that outweigh anything Chihiro or San ever had to deal with. Like Jiro, she is extraordinarily convincing.

Lesser-known actors play these characters, the lead being the renowned Hideaki Anno in his first dramatic role, and Nahoko being Miori Takimoto, who’s returned after voicing Arietty two years ago. They and the rest of the cast (especially the American Steve Alpert, who plays a quirky German) do a great job at making the characters unique and believable. That is to say nothing, of course, of the fabulous animation. The hectic character movement of Princess Mononoke isn’t here, but beautiful environments, effects animation, and creative camera positions more than compensate for it. The film dazzles at every turn, from the layout, to the mechanics of the airplanes, to the heady emotion, to the score, handled by the eminent Joe Hisaishi. It has all the hallmarks of a Studio Ghibli movie, and in terms of narrative, it ups the ante.

Personally, I think Kaze Tachinu is one of Miyazaki's strongest efforts, if not the strongest. It might not be as insanely creative as Spirited Away, but I think it's his most articulate piece to date. It certainly has way more to say than the other animated films out there. Entertainment is barely even considered, for one. There is comedy, but it's hardly at the forefront; it only serves to balance the political and psychological parts. And it works. Every part of it works. There are no sequences that fall flat, no ideas that feel incomplete. Clearly, Miyazaki has wanted to tell this story for a long time, but needed to take awhile to figure out how. Only an experienced filmmaker could tell this kind of story so boldly and make it colorful and attractive. I highly doubt we'll see anything like it for a long time, and that's why, for me, this is the best movie of the year.

Disney won't release it under their main label, due to the controversy surrounding the main character (and, evidently, his smoking habit). However, the hype will likely override the hesitation towards advertisement. This is a movie that's clearly ahead of its time. Some people will find it confusing, but those who are willing to take a cartoon seriously will love it. For now, I’ll withhold from revealing Kaze Tachinu’s biggest twist, as it’s not due for a wide release for a few months. However, I will say this: It’s a new kind of animated film, and it will surprise you, whether you’re familiar with Miyazaki’s previous works or not. It’s political, it’s serious; at times it’s even autobiographical. It’s a must-see. Trailer here.

All that said, he does borrow from himself a little bit...

Narrative in video games is a strange, yet beautiful thing.

Probably the first paragon of a game that emphasizes a strong narrative would be Valve's Half-Life 2. Half-Life 2 demonstrated a fluid and genuinely interactive experience through its storyline, what with the initial intimidating ambiance of City 17 and its menacing law enforcement, the break into the chilling Ravenholm, and the endless stretch of highway beyond it. The game presented itself in such a way that you felt sincere emotion in the characters and their fates, such as the contempt towards Breen, or the enigmatism behind G-Man. Half-Life 2 was the first game that really made you feel like you were living through a high-budget blockbuster, and its clever use of narrative helped it earn that achievement.

So, after that exhausting and almost fanboyic digression, you might be asking a question; what does Half-Life 2 have to do with Spec Ops: The Line? Am I possibly suggesting that Spec Ops: The Line is the next-generation Half-Life 2? The new apex of plot? The pinnacle of character development?

Well, there's a bit of an issue here. You see, Half-Life 2, when set down and carefully looked at, was a simple game. It wanted to immerse you in a dystopian world where you were the ultimate badass saving the day and such. Half-Life 2 didn't try to emphasize a moral point or push social commentary towards its viewers, and yet it was still hailed as a great game.

That being said, in no ways do I mean to imply that social commentary within a game's narrative is bad. In fact, if used correctly, it can turn out to be truly insightful and provocative. Spec Ops; The Line, however, bases its entire narrative for the sake of "creating a point", lacking attention on both other aspects of the story such as character development, a logical plot, etc., and actual gameplay.

Speaking of which, Spec Ops: The Line decides to not only disregard its mediocre and often-times faulty gameplay, but actually fabricates a feeble excuse for this, saying that it's intended to play like a generic shooter for the sake of accentuating the unrealistic absurdity of modern day shooters. This is not only redundant, as it's clear to nearly everybody that games such as Call of Duty are intended to be cinematic rather than realistic, but is sacrificing the physical gameplay, making the entire experience boring and tedious, and, thus, reducing the quality of the game to that it's trying to mock.

​Of course, depreciating the game to such a degree would be absurd without actually explaining the game's plot in further detail.

The story begins as you, Captain Walker, and a group of two other accomplishes traveling across the sandstorm-ridden ruins of a once bustling Dubai. Your mission is to check the status on the city and its civilians after the failed evacuation executed by a man named John Konrad. Throughout the journey, they listen in on a local DJ known simply as the Radioman, who broadcasts classic copyrighted music as the team blasts through a series of hostile armed survivors.

Eventually, the crew learns about several atrocities committed by a group called the Damned 33rd against the civilians of the city. Walker and the rest attempt to intervene, but the 33rd doesn't take it lightly, and tries to kill them. Making their way through storm and storm of enemies, they reach a place called the Gate.

Now, at this point, it would probably be fair to explain how the game plays. The game is divided into multiple fairly linear levels, each with their own objective. It's almost laughably simple, with little to absolutely no aspects of the gameplay being different from a shooter back in the late 90s. Even further, the controls are obnoxiously clunky and at times simply unresponsive. Many times have I tried to slide into cover, only for the game to not recognize my command, as it takes a good 3-4 tries to get it to work.

It may also come as a surprise that this is nearly 2 ½ hours into the game, so by now, I'm almost viciously scanning the game, waiting for that inevitable emotionally shocking plot twist to occur.

Returning to the story, the Gate is found to be full of 33rd soldiers, heavily guarding the area. To clear through them, Walker comes up with a fantastic idea: to use a nearby mortar filled with white phosphorus against the band of soldiers. (Considering that you're probably not affiliated with military, white phosphorous is a poisonous gas notoriously known for causing brutal injuries to its victims.)

However, as the poisonous smoke clears, it is unfortunately learned that the group of 33rd were only sheltering the civilians against any possible battles. Every single civilian within that encampment is killed.

This incident, in my opinion, is the first major mistake The Line makes. As the game continues, Walker makes many other bad decisions that come at the expense of the many innocent people living in Dubai. As these decisions are made, it references this particular incident, as it is the first of many atrocities that Walker commits. However, I find this to be literately flawed, as the white phosphorous incident is an example of sheer accidental ignorance; later acts were perpetrations of characterizational stubbornness and lack of empathy.

Second of all, near the beginning of the story, the game introduces you to the infamous white phosphorous in a scene where several enemy soldiers are drenched in it, as you make your way through the travesty trying not to get injured by it. The problem is, for such an event that's clearly intended to be a "plot twist", it's awfully expected that using such a weapon would probably result in agony towards its victims. In what universe do you expect the players of the game to willingly fire on anyone, even if they were just soldiers.

Speaking of which, the game places a large emphasis on making the player feel bad for committing this act, even despite the fact that you literally have no choice to fire the phosphorous. An example of such is shown below:

God forbid I enjoy the product I spent $60 on.

Some people have brought to my attention of a possible philosophy behind this; you actually do have a choice, as you can turn the game off. However, anyone with any decent knowledge of narrative, or, hell, logic in general, knows that such is a completely bullshit “meta” excuse at trying to justify an already tenuous and overly ambitious element within the game's theme.

Back to the story, after the event, Walker then finds a radio, in which he communicates with none other than Konrad. It turns out that Konrad was leading the 33rd, as he berates Walker for the previous incident (and the inevitable many to come). As a way to get back at the 33rd, he begins a series of stunts that will ultimately harm the 33rd, the first of them being the genius and totally-not-clearly-detrimental-to-the-rest-of-the-survivors-living-there-yep-no-mhmm action of draining the city's water supplies. (Not to mention that this is yet another event the game criticizes you on.)

As the city slowly begins dying of dehydration (didn't see that coming, eh?), Walker's crew heads towards the aforementioned DJ in the beginning of the game to try to broadcast to the city of an evacuation. However, things go awry, and one of the crew members shoots the DJ in a bout of anger. To escape the now-flooded-with-enemy-33rd tower, he hops onto a helicopter, which soon crashes with a sudden sandstorm.

The team slowly makes their way towards the tower Konrad is suited in. As he finally reaches Konrad, it is revealed that Konrad is actually dead. The "Konrad" Walker was in contact with was actually his own mental cognitive dissonance berating him, stemming from the traumatic white phosphorous incident. Following this, Walker is forced to commit suicide at the hands of his own, insane self.

So that's that.

In all sincerity, as much it sounds like I think The Line is a bad game, it really isn't. Throughout the game, there are some shining moments that showed that the developers put some genuine attention to detail in it. For example, the main screen of the game starts off like this:

But as the game continues on, the scene slowly decays and becomes this:

Don't understand why the Burj Khalifa hasn't fell.

At the same time, though, I feel like such gleaming examples are part of the pity behind Spec Ops: The Line. I feel that the developers put so much effort into making the game much higher than it really is, and it almost feels wrong criticizing it like I do because of such. However, despite this, The Line is still a rickety, mediocre game, placing its philosophies on thinly veiled morals. It's such a depressingly ambitious game that it jumps beyond the hurdle it wishes to conquer, and falls miles ahead in the dust, while completely ignoring other essential elements such as quality gameplay.

In the end, among the stagnant pool of generic single player shooter campaigns like Call of Duty and Battlefield comes something like Spec Ops: The Line to try to mix it up. That's exactly what it is, in fact, a good attempt at redefining the shooter genre. Sadly, not all good attempts make good games.



Spec Ops: The Line gets a 6.5/10.

You can purchase Spec Ops: The Line here.

While we were supposed to have an article for just the YouTube Poops of October only, we at the staff kind of got distracted for a little bit with the Halloween YouChew contests that we had a while back, whether it was through making spooky YouTube Poops, creating spooky art, or even acting out certain characters. As a result, we've decided to merge some of the October favorites with our favorites from November.

Crazy Luigi's Pick: "The King Conquers Gravity" by Mashu (October)


When it comes to YouTube Poops, sometimes we can get too caught up in the present to where we can forget about the past at times. Thankfully, people like our Writing Staff's own Mashu help us remember that it's through the methods of our past that helped shape up our present and hope to influence our future in the process. From the nowadays fuzzy at points Hotel Mario scenes (including the Philips CD-i opening scene) to the QuebecGamers.com watermark on the bottom right hand corner to even simple effects like ear rape and cutting and pasting King Harkinian at the end for a pretty (overly) dramatic scene, it does show you all the things about YouTube Poop that we know and even love at times in a kind of tribute of sorts. However, there are parts involving it that make it stand out a bit more than just being a tribute to the past; the Hotel Mario scenes, for example, show a hectic, cool style that make them really stand out among everything else, especially when Mario yells out "Princess... No" in a certain scene. However, from the King using real blueprints to build a powerful rocket as a sort of revenge on the Earth to having Mario set up the rocket's launch until the actual rocket launches itself, it really shows us how our present still can influence the past in new ways, and it's a lesson that we should not forget about anytime soon.

Crazy Luigi's Pick: "Best Sonic Characters Fellatio Ratings" by KlausTheWizard (November)


While video and audio effects can be nice and dandy to have for a YouTube Poop, sometimes it's something as simple as one source that could make a YouTube Poop stand out among other YouTube Poops. With this video, it takes advantage of the complete awkwardness of Guptill89's "Top 10 Sonic Females" video to his absolute greatest effects. From the very beginning, you could tell that the late-2000's fanboys of the Sonic the Hedgehog series really had no shame or quality control with their own videos, which is why having their words being mocked around really makes them great sources for YouTube Poops. Some of the explanations like "she wears a dress" and "what's better than having a female with cascading quills" display how awkward they are to where they don't need much to work with, while other pieces of sentence mixing and other effects KlausTheWizard does are really quite funny in its own way! After all, who wouldn't laugh when hearing lines like "Sonic the Hedgehog: one of the greatest and most attractive rapists" and "how would you like to have that super hot chick pyro-dicking your ass" when spoken completely seriously? If that doesn't warrant enough reasoning to make it my recommended YouTube Poop for this particular November, than the grand finale might help make it all clear to see why it's like that.

HerrVarden's Picks: Liar, Liar, Obamacare On Fire! by TofuCakeCan & The Ed Boys' Collab Scam by MasterOfZoroark and Co.


Originally, my choice was going to be one of the entries of the Ed, Edd and Eddy Collab, but then I watched the collab and I wanted to put that in. But then, this video came up and I was laughing too much to warrant it a reccomendation, so I felt torn on what to choose. It was a tough decision, since I watched both and enjoy them a lot, so fuck it, you get two for the price of one. Let's start with TofuCakeCan's YTP. Now I don't know much about my fellow writing colleague, other than the basic stuff and how he makes YTPs. But seeing that his latest had the source of Liar Liar, which has shown to be very great in the right hands, I just had to see it. It did not dissapoint, because it used all the jokes that were needed and then some. The way he alters and stutters Jim Carrey's mannerisms are just great, especially with the portion at 0:24 - 0:26 and 0:35 - 0:49. I feel like the one at 0:24 took inspiration from Rushnerd's Tommy Wiseau ship, and I'd like to see it return in another video. The Zim line was brilliant, the uses of the "Liar!" line were well-timed, the music edits worked and by god, the frantic editing of the two most famous parts of the film made the video a classic.

The collab, on the other hand, is too big for words. Literally, it's almost an hour of content. If I had to tell you all the ups and downs of the video, I'd have to make this a seperate article. But with that said, there are certainly a lot of wonderful key moments. The way that the poopers are introduced gives a good summary of what to expect in their portion. It's clever how the opening credits are also used to show the style of the poopers and each of them do a great amount of jokes. TimoteiLSD bring a running gag into his portion of the collab, that being Ed waving as silly music plays, which works wonderful with all the rest of his parts. He also makes very raunchy Flash portion which has a wonderful ending gag (though what is edited afterwards in the collab works even better). Geibuchan makes some of the greatest repetition jokes in the collab, and continues to bring a great sense of his ranged style into the collaboration. TheCaledioscope makes one of the most standout YTPMV with Kevin while Cornflakes makes one hell of a bombastic effect-fuckfest. The collaborator head, MoZ did a great job editing the video and an even better job with his parts, hell, everyone did magnificently in this. Not one joke fell flat, everything was in line.

Nozdordomu's Pick: "Children of the Meen" by DinnerWarrior (November)


Is “Children of the Meen” even a poop? I guess you could call it a YTPMV, but it’s not really one of those either. It doesn’t have crazy edits, hip-hop beats, stuttering, or even jokes, really. It’s an animation of I.M. Meen singing “Come Little Children” from Hocus Pocus, while spiriting Mario and Luigi away in some kind of magic beam. It strongly reminded me of HarterStuhligan’s “GWoNAM has not died yet…,” which cleverly spliced Gwonam’s voice into the lyrics of “Still Alive” and dished up tons of bizarre images. DinnerWarrior’s sentence mixing is easier to understand, though, in part due to the captions. While the visuals aren’t nearly as creative – not surprising, since he cited “Children of the Night” as inspiration – they do complement the music nicely, and give you something nice to look at. I really liked the parts where hundreds of Marios and Luigis fly through the sky, and I like how the characters were ingrained into the backgrounds, something not many poopers can do well. I also laughed at Meen’s “Sha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-dooooww!” at the end. Not the most exciting poop, and not representative of poop either, “Children of the Meen” still impressed and amused me, and I’d honestly like to see more videos in this style, provided they’re done with the same care.

TofuCakeCan's Pick: "The Critical Cric" by Znarftarf (November)


Znarftarf is a pooper who has been in my subscriptions list for quite a while now. He's got a thing for Johnny Cage & Mortal Kombat, the WWE, and pooping the "Epic Rap Battles of History" series. This video though, sees him pooping a fairly uncommon source of "The Critic". I don't know if it's the nostalgia factor, the sharp comedic timing, or the visual gags that got me hooked on this video, but this piece has that certain X-factor that makes it both entertaining and inspiring. One of the things i appreciate about Znarftarf's style is that he relies minimally on heavy visual effects, choosing instead to dazzle you with clever sentence mixing or an unexpected masking joke. His style takes me back to the 2009 period and reminds me of Mark3611 or Waxination. Among my favorite gags were the "Crazy Black Guy" bit at 1:06 and the bit at 4:33 which I can't even begin to describe. To top it all of, the poop comes in at a generous 5 minutes and 17 seconds, and I must give him props for being able to come up with that much material at one time. If you can appreciate an old-school or minimalist style, you should definitely give this one a watch.
 
If you feel like we may have overlooked or missed out on a favorite YouTube Poop from the last two months, please post a comment talking about the YouTube Poop and why you think it's your favorite in that period of time.

The “flow” of a videogame is a bit of a confusing subject to tackle. It's easy for anyone with at least a cursory knowledge of game design to explain or try to give examples of, but it's difficult to truly understand as a whole, especially considering how the flow of games differs, not only from genre to genre but even from game to game. This aspect of game design is related in many ways to the differences between linearity and open-endedness, but is still a part of design on its own; both linear and open games can have the same sort of “flow”, or lack thereof depending on other things.

Nowadays, a game's “flow” is often associated with streamlining the game so that it can be experienced without certain types of interruptions, and while this is a part of a game's “flow”, it isn't the whole concept. If you design a game to be extremely streamlined, you run the risk of losing the qualities that make it a game in the first place. The original Super Mario Bros. provides a good example: the game's flow is interrupted if you do something that costs you a life, like falling into a pit, hitting an enemy or messing up a platforming section. Removing these obstacles would streamline the game, but it would also turn it into a “non-game”, so to speak. There would be no challenge to just holding the right button on the control pad.

However, too many interruptions can make a game feel frustrating, or can shake a player out of the experience; one comparison could be drawn to books or movies and a person's suspension of disbelief. The major difference is that games have – depending on your point of view – a larger amount of ways to break the flow and break the player's immersion. If a game is showing a cutscene of a story, then it is interrupting the flow. In adventure games, if a player has to pause and select an item from the inventory, then it is interrupting the flow. If a game has a tutorial (particularly if it is a poorly-designed one, or one that isn't optional), it interrupts the flow. If a player loses control so that the game can focus on something, then it interrupts the flow.

The important thing to note is that interrupting the flow of a game is not inherently a bad choice, just like a linear game is not inherently any worse than an open one. Again, the example of Super Mario Bros. displays this perfectly. Losing a life or failing a platforming segment will break the flow, but removing these parts of the game would remove the game's challenge as well.


The flow of a level shown visually; the top image has obstacles and feels very defined, while the bottom is a straight line with nothing at all. Which do you think looks more fun to play?

What this highlights is an important advantage of using flow to a game's advantage – interrupting a game's flow is typically rather jarring to a player, especially in games where the flow is otherwise untouched. The breaks in flow aren't pleasant, and help to make a player want to avoid these interruptions. If done successfully, this kind of effect would spur a player to get better at the game, to avoid making mistakes that would lead to these situations in the first place.

Another example of games using these breaks in flow to their advantage would be RPGs. This is particularly evident in older RPGs like the original Final Fantasy, where most cutscenes only occurred when you spoke with someone to trigger them. This means that the amount of pressure on a player is mostly low: an example is the pirate Bikke in an early town, as you only have to battle his band of pirates if you decide to talk to him. This means that if you avoid talking to him, the player is free to walk around the town, rest at the inn and buy equipment, or to head outside town and fight enemies to try and level their characters up beforehand.

Where breaking the flow plays into this is with certain encounters that aren't in the player's hands. An example of this sort of thing are the rival encounters in the first few Pokemon games, like Red and Blue or Gold and Silver. Rival encounters in the older Pokemon games were unexpected, interrupting the flow of the game and often catching players off-guard because most battles with trainers can be initiated by the player themselves (gym leaders only battle when spoken to, trainers on the map can be walked around and avoided). This choice served a dual purpose with the games, both in their design and in terms of the rival characters themselves: in RBY and GSC the rival characters were rather rude to the player, and because they would show up without warning and at inconvenient times to block the player's way, this served to make them seem annoying or irritating. If the player ends up losing the battle, this spurs the player into wanting to get better than their rival.


Will you bugger off, Blue? It hasn't even been a minute since I got my Pokemon and you're already throwing me into a battle with you?

On the flipside, some games often have their flow interrupted, which never becomes a problem because the game is designed around this. Strategy games, particularly turn-based strategy games, are good examples. Fire Emblem, for one, typically has snippets of dialogue during missions, which interrupt, but not so much that the player loses their focus. Between missions, there is also dialogue, which helps to clarify objectives, give screentime to characters, and so on and so forth. Because strategy games are generally slow-paced affairs, these breaks don't typically become an issue.

The majority of problems that can crop up due to a game's flow most often stem from designers either forgetting or ignoring the concept of flow as a whole. Other times it can be because of hardware constraints; if a game needs to cut to a loading screen numerous times to bring up new maps and such, the flow of the game can easily shoot straight into the dirt. When a player watches an exciting cutscene involving the hero and villain finally about to fight the final showdown, the flow of the game is starting to boil over because of the climactic tone. If the player then has to sit through a loading screen to get to the decisive battle, that excitement can easily start to wane. This is both because of hardware constraints and because of developer oversight, and the solution is easy and simple - have a longer loading time before the cutscene, so that the game can not only load said cutscene, but also the battle after it. This means the game will flow much better in these important moments.

With all this said, here are some things to keep in mind when thinking about a game's design and how to work with its flow:

• How will you design areas to work with the flow? If you want a particular part of a game to require frequent use of a specific item or ability, how will you implement the item or ability in the first place? If it requires constant pausing, will this negatively impact the flow of the area?
• How often will you need to interrupt the flow for one reason or another? How will these interruptions affect a player's interest and immersion?
• If your game is linear, how will breaks in flow affect the game and the players? If your game is open-ended, what ways to break the flow will work with the game, instead of working against it?

If there’s one thought that we as humans look into at one point or another, it’s the thought of death. While we may come to terms that dying is an inevitability that comes to us all, what makes it more of a worry over anything else is the fact that we don’t know what’ll happen when we do die until we actually die. It’d be bad enough that some believe that what happens depends on whether we lived our lives as good or bad people, but it’s much worse when it comes to the many different religions having many different beliefs on what a person’s afterlife should be like in the first place. Still, what’s one of the more rarely talked about phenomenon that relate to such a topic are those that face near-death experiences or even more interesting, those that have died for a brief period of time, only to more or less be given a second chance in life. Even so, I bet you none of them have gained as much spiritual power as our main protagonist in this anime.

Our story begins with Yusuke Urameshi, a 14 year old punk from Sarayashiki Jr. High that would usually spend his time skipping classes in school and picking fights with other people on the streets, one of which includes fellow student Kazuma Kuwabara. One day, however, Yusuke would meet a little boy that would end up changing his life forever. After entertaining the boy for a little bit, he ends up saving his life... only to die in the process by hitting the upcoming car that was about to accidentally hit said kid. However, because his death was unexpected by the higher ups in the Spirit World, the Grim Reaper (better known throughout the series as Botan) and Prince Koenma decided to allow Yusuke a second chance at life, so long as certain conditions are met. While some of these conditions do involve personal requirements, such as letting people like his girl friend Keiko, his mother Atsuko, and even Kuwabara be aware that he is going to come back and finding out whether his spirit was worthy enough to be given a second chance or not, one condition that would end up being out of Yusuke's control would be that he'd be more aware of spirits. It's there that we being with our first saga in this anime.

The Spirit Detective Saga
If you thought that our story would mainly be about a kid trying to get back to his human body, you actually thought wrong there. That part would only be a setting point for what was to come for Yusuke Urameshi! As mentioned before, the saga starts out with Yusuke trying to get a second chance at life. However, once he does end up getting his spirit back in his body for a second chance (sorry for the spoilers there), the true fun of this anime really begins. After getting his body back in form, he starts noticing things like small demons that he never noticed before. As it turns out, his time being dead helped cause a connection between his living and spiritual self that lets him notice demons more often now. As a result of this, he ends up becoming the Spirit Detective for Spirit World and is made to go on cases where it affect not only the Spirit World, but also the human world.

If you ever wanted a good summary of what to expect in this saga, you've got it!

For a first case, three demonic thieves (or for one thief's case, former demon) in Gouki, Hiei, and Kurama end up stealing some special items that belonged to Koenma's father, King Enma. All of those items hold special properties that would not be proper for any human to hold, but a major consequence for this case would be if the king becomes too pissed off about finding out his items were stolen, he'd cause massive destruction to the human world until he does find them. Another case, however, ups the ante in danger with having Yusuke (and unintentionally, Kuwabara) finding and defeating a human that's disguised as a killer demon named Rando that killed 99 psychics and stealing their special techniques in a special tournament held by a master psychic named Genkai; if Rando were to succeed, he'd end up killing hundreds upon thousands of humans in the process. Another case has Yusuke and Kuwabara (along with two of the three thieves mentioned earlier) going into Demon World's Maze Castle to defeat cult-like leaders in the Four Saint Beasts before they cause an epidemic in the world that fully effects, if not kills thousands of people with a special disease. Finally, Yusuke and Kuwabara end up having a rescue mission that involves Hiei's half-sister, a multi-billionaire crime lord boss, and two demon gang leaders making sure their client remains satisfied.

Each case (including Yusuke's death and resurrection) is more told as a mini-arc of sorts, yet each tale gives us proper looks into the story and how they correlate into each other. Yusuke's death and resurrection, for example, first shows us not only how some of the people in Yusuke's life do care for him (and the same can be said back for at least Keiko and Kuwabara), but also how Kuwabara really shows tough resilience and honor for his own group of friends when they needed him the most. The first actual Spirit Detective case, on the other hand, helps introduce the cast to two more future main characters in Shuichi Minamino (better known throughout the series as Kurama) and Hiei and how their attitudes reflect themselves throughout the rest of the series. The Rando series also helps not only show off both Yusuke and Kuwabara team up with each other (albeit unintentionally at first) and helps the series give Kuwabara a taste of what should come for Kuwabara's new powers, but it also gives off a feeling of actual detective work of sorts by finding out which fighter among the thousands of possible participants and trying to stop him before he gets really strong powers that could endanger the planet in the process, as opposed to cases where Yusuke needs to find the bad guys and stop them to the best of his fighting abilities. Speaking of which, the Four Saint Beasts series not only gives us Yusuke and Kuwabara intentionally working as a team for the first time, but it also gave us Kurama and Hiei working with the Spirit Detective as well, although it is partially due to being under Spirit World's sentencing on the two (at least, it's partially the reason for Kurama). This arc in particular also gives us hints on what each character could really do with their powers.

Kurama could use plants, such as a rose that he usually carries, into deadly weapons with some of his spirit energy that he had back when he was a demon fox (that shall be explained later) being put into use for each plant involved, as well as use more strategic moves like letting his opponent attack first and find out what weakness the opponent has that he could exploit. Kuwabara, on the other hand, uses the power of his Spirit Sword (which is almost like a lightsaber, only made entirely out of energy) to attack head first with everything that he's got, as well as display how holding great spirit awareness can help him and the team (although he did initially want his awareness lowered back when he felt that it purely creeped him out). Hiei is more of a brutal, cut-throat speedy swordsman that could also use his demon energy to increase his powers if he views his opponent as worthy of such a feat. Finally, Yusuke shows how can be not only quick witted in some aspects of fighting (as well as coming up with nice quips during proper situations), but also be a bit more dimwitted in some decisions by being more of a street fighter that usually lives for the moment. This kind of thinking is especially shrewd when knowing that he already died beforehand, but it does hold its own advantages for his own sake. Anyways, all of these characters display their traits quite effectively in not only the Four Saint Beasts series, but also the other parts of the Spirit Detective Saga as well.

Be thankful that you don't have to see that guy's face on the right to prove a point...

Finally, talking about the series in the kidnapping of an ice apparition named Yukina (who makes expensive pearls by crying) is the turning point to where the series starts heating up. For starters, we get to not only see a new character in Kuwabara's older sister, Shizuru, that can be more spiritually aware than his brother at times (while also oddly enough replacing Yusuke's mom from this point forward as a secondary character), but also get a few key plot elements that move forward beyond this arc. One such element includes how Yukina relates to Hiei and how their relationship affects his motivations, even with neither Kuwabara nor Yukina getting the truth about it in the end. However, it's the antagonists of this story that will help lay the foundation of what's to come for the series. The first antagonist involves an elitist organization called the Black Black Club (I know, cliche, but that's beside the point) where one of its members is willing to bet money that's greater than any current economy just to gain the upper hand over its leader Gonzo Tarukane, who is also the kidnapper in the arc. The second major antagonist is a duo tandem known as the Toguro Brothers with their apparition gang, who are considered one of the most ruthless groups of demons around. While their gang is considered, for the most part, really weak when compared to Yusuke and Kuwabara, the brothers really show themselves to be more brutal than anything the two encountered before with the eldest brother being an elastic shapeshifter and the youngest being a strength enhancer to where even 20% of his strength could kill in a brutal fashion. Even though Yusuke and Kuwabara may have thought that this arc would be the last time they'd ever see the Toguro Brothers again, it really only begins what some say is the best saga of the series.

The Dark Tournament Saga
After the initial defeat of the Toguro Brothers, it was revealed through a running tape of the last case that the brothers were only acting on the request of their true clientele, the Black Black Club's gambling sadist in Sakyo. On that exact same day, Yusuke's date with Keiko gets interrupted (yet again) by an unusual piece of building damage that doesn't look like it was hit by any normal demolition vehicle or device due to how the wreckage looked like someone unbelievably strong punched it. He then spots the younger Toguro brother around the wreckage, and he wants Yusuke to follow him to an abandoned area. It's there that not only does Toguro show off what his power at 60% could do (it results in wrecking a multi-story parking lot with relative ease), but he gives off a threat on if he, Kuwabara, and three other people do not show up as a team in a martial arts tournament that has demons fighting for their own purpose of bloodshed and mainly human owners (mostly) betting on the winner, he will kill everyone that is related to Yusuke's and Kuwabara's lives. It's through this very intimidating and serious threat that has the series enter the Dark Tournament Saga.

Through months of proper training (Yusuke training with Master Genkai once more and Kuwabara training with both Hiei and Kurama), the quartet not only manage to find a proper fifth fighter to compete in the tournament, but they also feel they can have the proper mentality to survive the tournament in the process. It's through there that we get to see some rude awakenings come up for the team before the first round even began (unless you count a free-for-all on a boat as a round) with some strong demons showcasing that they aren't to be taken lightly. Not only that, but the majority of the Dark Tournament staff really doesn't like Team Urameshi over what he and Kuwabara did in that last case, which causes some battles to involve shady results in the process, much to the pleasure of the demon crowds and the dismay of Team Urameshi. With these realizations put into play, Team Urameshi must traverse through numerous challenges and struggles both as a team and as individuals in order to not only reach Team Toguro in the final round, but also defeat them for good.

Nice quintet, huh? So suave, in fact, that you want to stick a butter knife in them and have it become melted butter.

Since Team Urameshi are strangers in the tournament due to being the only (supposed) humans to be competing, the demon crowd jeers them at nearly every step in their way. It doesn't help that for Team Urameshi, they have to fight against four different teams (excluding a free-for-all qualifying round) to make it to the final round (tied with another team as the most fights possible towards the top), while the reigning champions only have to fight twice to get to the final round. Still, as the leader of the latter team says best (as paraphrased by me), the challenges they have may seem rough now, but the strength they'll have later on would make it all the more better. That's probably what makes this character arc stand out against any other arcs or sagas involved in this series; the growth of the main characters really makes the quintet of main characters stand out on how they've grown from where they were beforehand to this point in time. Another factor that helps make this tournament become so noteworthy is how the characters from the other teams stand out from each other.

The main antagonists aren't the only team that hold stand out personalities since there are also four other teams that also hold such details as well. One team of 6 demons known as Team Rokuyukai consider themselves more as a lower class kind of society fighters still have considerable powers that show that they aren't, for the most part, pushovers that would lose so easily. Another team in Team Masho are considered the shinobi of the Demon World and want to win the Dark Tournament for a more simple purpose of wanting to not only win the island that the Dark Tournament is run under, but also live out life better than if they were stuck under the Demon World. Even a considerably strong team in Team Uraotogi hold some half-truths and full lies regarding the existence of their team in not only how they behaved, but also how strong they really were. However, what probably is the most tragic team of the entire tournament is the half-demon, half-human Dr. Ichigaki Team, which admittedly starts out strangely when you think that the only humans fighting are supposed to be on Team Urameshi. Once the team starts entering the fight against them, we not only get a story about a dying master and how it relates to the involvement of the other humans fighting for the doctor, but it also shows us the true colors of the titular doctor on what his true intentions are and how his science ultimately puts both teams in a Catch 22 situation regarding both teams getting a happy ending. Trust me, when you get to that fight, it helps show you why it feels so close to tragic much better than I could outright tell without spoiling it for you. Still, as much as I'd love to talk about the teams in greater detail, there's really only one team that truly deserves talking about in great detail: Team Toguro.

You could probably tell who's the leader of this band of misfits here.

Team Toguro is known throughout this saga as defending champions of the Dark Tournament, and considering the fact that the two brothers survived their first fight against Yusuke and Kuwabar without a scratch on them, it can be pretty damn easy to see why. Teams in the Dark Tournament usually have a sponsor helping them out (with a few exception in mind), and this team's sponsor is the same Sakyo (not shown above) that cunningly deceived the Black Black Club earlier on with his bets. He may not be a fighter for the team, but he does help the team (and even Kuwabara's sister Shizuru) out in more ways than one, almost to the point of thinking that he's the chess master of the entire tournament. On the right, we have Bui, a really strong fighter that usually wields a gigantic ax in matches that he could use in an unbelievably easy manner. While he's usually strong and quick enough to react to killing his opponents in a quick and brutal manner, stronger opponents that he might get require him taking off his armor that he says protect his opponents from himself due to how uncontrollable it is. On the left, there's the dangerous Karasu who holds a bit more of a sadistic nature on how he views his opponents and attacks them. Not only do his attacks become outright invisible to weaker opponents, but even stronger opponents that could not only keep their limbs, but also survive his bevy of attacks (while torturing them with said attacks) experience how a unique demon like Karasu has an even deeper power that he keeps secret with his mask that covers up his mouth. Then you get the undisputed leaders of the group that need no introduction as a duo.

As separate entities, they really are quite different from each other in more ways than just size and talents. The elder brother (who oddly enough resembles the modern day Weird Al Yankovic in terms of looks) ends up showing himself off as a true monster in not only manners of attacking, but also behavior. He can not only transform himself into any item that his younger brother wants him to transform into (including a semi-automatic machine gun, oddly enough), but he can also stretch his body out to attack people anywhere that he wants to and make supposedly major injuries look like paper cuts, which includes moving around his internal organs like his brain and heart to avoid dying like any other creature would. Not only that, but his sense of showing mercy or even common decency towards opponents is pretty much dead since not only does he show that he hates keeping promises, but he can also tell his opponents brutal stories involving the truth that can be pretty much despicable to listen to the first time around. Basically, he's pretty much one enemy that you want to wish the absolute worst punishment towards. The younger brother, on the other hand, is more calm and collected when it comes to his intentions. He knows what amount of strength is just right to show his opponents that they're more or less meaningless to him, with only the absolute best being what he truly clamors for as a strong demon; of course being at 100% makes his muscles almost look like a better version of Rob Liefeld was involved, but that's beside the point. Not only that, but he shows that he does hold care for his past in more ways than one, and that he doesn't let his ways as a demon ruin his own morality so easily like it did to his older brother.

It's through such contrasts that really help make this saga stand out since it really shows how much development many of our characters get here. From Shizuru finding a dangerous love interest towards Sakyo to the new character named Puu (yes, really) that's related to Yusuke's days as a ghost to the further development between Yusuke and Keiko, there's more things to like here than just fights. Not to mention that you get to find out who the Masked Fighter of Team Urameshi is and how the Masked Fighter connects to the Toguro Brothers back when they were both humans. In fact, even the new techniques that the other members learn, such as Hiei's Dragon of the Darkness Flame and Kurama transforming to the form of his past life as the fox demon Yoko Kurama, end up being exciting to look at when they come up. Really, the many things about the series from the entertaining (and even at times quick) fights to the increasing development from other characters (including Kuwabara continuing his love for Hiei's sister Yukina and the sacrifices that Koenma's willing to put up for Team Urameshi) help make this saga probably the best of the entire series. In fact, if I really had to recommend only one arc, it'd probably be the Dark Tournament Saga. Still, this next story arc definitely comes close to that area, and should not be easily dismissed either.

The Chapter Black Saga
After the end of the Dark Tournament, Yusuke and Kuwabara both come back to Sarayashiki Jr. High as changed guys. However, that's not the only thing that's changed along the way as three new middle school students from a different school (one of whom is from Kurama's school) show up and look to threaten the Spirit Detective for some unknown reason. Still, unlike other students that Yusuke (and even Kuwabara for that matter) have been able to beat with relative ease, the three students each hold strangely unique powers that end up leading to the Spirit Detective being kidnapped! As a result, Kuwabara and Botan have to find Kurama and Hiei as part of the kidnappers' conditions and meet them as a group if they ever want to see Yusuke alive again. However, what none of the main characters here know is that this story is really just a precursor of what's to come in their biggest case yet.

As the quartet enter the three kidnappers' hideout (which is a mystery house, fittingly enough), they start to learn little by little of who the kidnappers are and what they could really do. One kidnapper is the second smartest student in Kurama's middle school (only behind... take a guess) named Yu Kaito, who has the power of Taboo in not only forbidding violence, but also making other rules and conditions of his choosing be followed by everyone inside his area, lest they pay a very hefty price for breaking his rules. The second kidnapper in Mitsunari Yanagisawa (better known as Yani) uses the power of Copy to basically copy someone's appearance and behaviors, but not necessarily powers, practically flawlessly. Finally, the major kidnapper of the trio, Asata Kido, has the power of Shadow that not only halts anyone that enters his shadow, but could also move his shadow to help himself out when necessary. Once the gang finally does get to Yusuke and more or less "saves him," the leader of this kidnapping not only reveals who she is, but also explains that something wrong is going on in Mushiyori City, starting with how the three human kidnappers gained their powers in the first place.

While the Dark Tournament was taking place, a new enemy was creating a new plan that involved a spiritual successor towards what Sakyo's ultimate plan was during the tournament: creating a tunnel to Demon World and have the demons invade the human world. However, while Sakyo was hoping to use money to help make his means come true, this new enemy plans on creating the tunnel the old fashioned way; by having a psychic create the tunnel that's large enough for demons to enter as they please. Both people do have the same motivation in finding demons that are even stronger than the Toguro Brothers were and outright destroy the world as we know it. The truth about the Toguro Brothers is while they were considered strong, they were only strong B-class demons that couldn't match up to A-class demons or even S-class demons! Still, what might be the most interesting part of this plan is that Sakyo inadvertently influenced this new enemy to come up with it, despite the fact that he was his initial enemy years ago. While the good news for the Yusuke, Genkai, Kuwabara, Kurama, Botan, and the kidnappers is that they do have a simple goal of finding the tunnel and stopping its growth, the bad news is more related towards the time of stopping it since it starts with only a 3 week window and continues onward with less time left.

Thankfully for Yusuke and the gang, they all do learn some lessons from Genkai on thinking through with plans in certain situations as opposed to tackling situations head on like he would in the past. It's almost like this brings back the Spirit Detective motive that was lost during the Dark Tournament Saga. Anyways, while the gang starts splitting up in two groups to not only find the growing tunnel to Demon World, but also find other new human psychics that could help (or hinder) their case. While the first group doesn't have the proper location of the tunnel around (even though they did get the general area correct), the second group in Yusuke, Genkai, Yani, and Kido do find a new psychic that's pretty much more neutral in this case in a mind reader named Murota that does have a hand in helping the group out. However, once he tries looking for a lead on the tunnel in question, he ends up not only spotting a guy that has quiet, yet loud thoughts of wanting to kill everyone, but also ends up getting shot in the head with an eraser from 500 yards away. While he ends up recovering, he informs the group who the culprits are: they all use nicknames in the Doctor, Seaman, Sniper, Gourmet, the Gamemaster, the Gatekeeper, and the undisputed leader of the group in the Black Angel.

Beware the one they call the Black Angel...

Admittedly, this is more of an odd point to talk about the music here, but the music the anime gives off is really awesome. It was already cool beforehand, but starting with this saga, it really amps it up to a whole new level! Case in point, the theme for the main antagonist in Shinobu Sensui. The theme takes a simple approach in using an electronic style of notes that suspiciously sound very close to saying the word "die" there, before they adding more music in it to really make this song stand out. It not only effectively gives off the sound of a mysterious, looming threat at hand, but it also gives off a tone that's just cool to listen to in its own right.

Continuing with the topic of Sensui, he's the obvious leader of what's considered the Sensui 7. He not only starts out by finding what looks to be the only surviving member of Team Toguro, but he also has a method of manipulating almost everyone else that joined his group (other than the Gatekeeper in Itsuki) by convincing those that notice him with a very persuasive video tape. The video tape is called Chapter Black, and the video showcases the absolute worst in humanity to the point where a normal human being would break down from watching it after only a few minutes. Sensui, on the other hand, watches the tape in a practically religious manner as if it affected his life for the better. The reason for that is because he really does feel like it's helped him out in a positive manner ever since he went rogue with his (demon) partner Itsuki in his last case (which involved the Black Black Club torturing and killing demons for no real reason other than performing a ritual they had) as the Spirit Detective before Yusuke Urameshi took over his position. Chapter Black also plays a more prominent role in this story to the point where even this saga's name is dedicated to it.

When it comes to how Sensui uses his persuasive tactics, he really does make a lasting impression on them. For people like the Doctor and Seaman, he helps use the Chapter Black tape to make such a lasting impression on the human race to the point where they feel like they have to follow what Sensui tells them to as a means to repent for humanity's sins. People like the Gamemaster, on the other hand, did not require the likes of watching the tape since they already had a personal hatred for humans with their own reasons, and they do what they want to do because of how their view their stuff in the process. Basically, the way the members of the Sensui 7 that aren't Sensui himself (including the lone surviving member of Team Toguro) represent what those who even have a hint of religious knowledge would call the Seven Deadly Sins. Shinobu Sensui, on the other hand, has a completely different attire from everyone else altogether.

As much as I really enjoyed the Toguro Brothers in what they had in the two stories they were involved with, when I think of who's my favorite villain in this series, Shinobu Sensui ends up getting that role despite appearing in only one story. For starters, while the Toguro Brothers have the strength of the strongest B-class demons around, Sensui is one of the only few very unique humans that could have the strength equal to that of S-class demons (although he's not equal to that of some of the more stronger S-class demons shown later on). However, power is only a minor detail compared to what's next; what really sets him apart is how completely different Sensui is when compared to Yusuke Urameshi. While the current Spirit Detective is more headstrong and street grown with him using punches as a main piece of artillery, the former Spirit Detective is more of a calm, martial artist trained person who like to use kicking a lot more. Finally, he has a identity disorder that has seven split up personalities turn up whenever each one of them is absolutely needed, and it especially helps when he gains a sacred energy power that normally takes 40 years to obtain (with the condition of being sure to use it to help the human world), yet it took him around 6 years due to each personality taking up a full year for him. There's something about his suave, yet demented personality that makes him that much more cooler to watch in that regard.

Hey, remember these people? Let's talk about them instead now.

Getting back to the actual story, the gang tries to look for the actual location of the Demon World tunnel that's been growing by the minute while also trying to look for hints on who's even causing this in the first place. Meanwhile, one of Sensui's group of 7 eventually finds the person that could help them complete their plan once and for all; the problem, though, is the person is one of the protagonists here. Once they help heal Kuwabara and said Sensui 7 member up, the Black Angel ends up revealing himself to Yusuke once and for all and create a diversion to take their required person away from Yusuke's group. After a car chase scene, Hiei eventually rejoins the group (alongside that Sensui 7 member mentioned earlier joining as well) after leaving due to how he knows this current case is a moot point to him, they find the location where the tunnel is at (which is in a cave), and they get into a few more battles before the final match-up arrives, all of which are really cool and unique in their own ways. Even the fights against Sensui are pretty awesome to look at. Yet if I'm giving such praise for it over the Dark Tournament Saga, why do I think this saga doesn't really match up against that one? Ironically, the answer lies in the final fights against Sensui.

After finding out the truth involving Sensui and making his real self get revealed, Yusuke does the same thing as Kuwabara did in the final fight of the Dark Tournament, only he plans on making it more permanent. After seeing Yusuke appear to die (again), they all power up to defeat Sensui inside Demon World, which was what he wanted all this time. It's there that we get to find out what might be considered the "jumping the shark" moment of the series: Yusuke gets his demon ancestral blood unleashed. Basically something that no one talked about or even noticed until now ends up getting him revived a second time (and also transforms Puu into a gigantic blue phoenix) and he and Koenma (who tried to reason and even stop Sensui himself with his special pacifier) enter Demon World to help defeat Sensui once and for all. This doesn't necessarily make the Chapter Black Saga immediately awful since up until now, it was currently acting like it was better than the Dark Tournament Saga. However, it was due to that plot point that came out of nowhere (and also how people who used to watch it on Cartoon Network/Adult Swim the first time around initially thought that the series ended with Yusuke being dead again) and the ending that could be considered a Dues Ex Machina that sadly knocks it down to only being the second-best saga. Unfortunately, the final saga involving the leaders of Demon World doesn't help make it all that much better.

The Three Kings Saga
After Yusuke finally does defeat Sensui, he doesn't really feel the same way as he used to. He's gotten to the point where he believes that he has nothing to really look forward to since he felt that his most recent victory felt truly hollow and no one else in the human world would really match up against him. By permission of Master Genkai, he ends up getting sent to yet another former Spirit Detective that looks eerily familiar to Sensui, only more feminine in the married Kuroko Sato. Just as Yusuke starts learning some answers on what he's been wondering, a trio of Daoist monks in Hokushin, Seitei, & Touou enter the picture looking to find Yusuke so they could give him answers their own way. What are these answers, you might ask? Well, it turns out that Yusuke's one-time transformation near the end of the Chapter Black Saga came from their demon master in Lord Raizen, who's considered as one of the most powerful demons around, if not the most powerful, due to being a part of a tribe called the Mazoku. What makes it more important, however, is the fact that his biological ancestor in the Demon World is about to die.

We're the Lords of the Underworld! Darkness fills my heart with pain...

As followers of one of the three Lords of Demon World, they want to have Yusuke Urameshi himself be the successor to his ancestor when he dies. It especially becomes amplified when even though Hokushin entered the human world with the strength of a D-class demon, his S-class smarts help show that he and his fellow monks and ruler can help teach him until the time comes for Raizen's death. Even though Yusuke does hate the fact that they initially lied directly to his face on how they don't eat humans, he does get where they're coming from (much to the dismay of former Spirit Detective Kuroko) and eventually accepts their offer on wanting to go to Demon World for his own good. At the same time, the other Demon World Lords in Mukoro and Yomi (with the latter being permanently blind) call out for Hiei and Kurama to be the new second-in-commands of their respective kingdoms. And what of Kuwabara, you might ask? Well, he doesn't play any real major part of all this whatsoever! Yes, the entire group of protagonists go their separate ways with Kuwabara barely getting anything at all in this saga since he's stuck in the human world trying to better himself so that he could go to a better high school.

If you've been wondering, this is the one saga where I couldn't really get a good connection towards the story over the others shown above. It didn't help that Cartoon Network suddenly stopped airing the show when it looked like Yusuke was permanently dead against Sensui's attack, but that's beside the point. Even if they did air the saga involving the Three Lords of Demon World, I don't think my younger self would have really liked what was shown in that story all that much as he did with every other story. Not only do we not get a very clear idea on who the protagonist or even antagonist of the story are on account of being based off of implications over anything else, but we also don't have better fight scenes this time around. Really, if there was ever a major disappointment in this manga and anime, this would have to be it.

First off, we really don't get to see how Kuwabara betters himself beside the beginning and ending of this saga, which means that people that are bigger fans of Kuwabara than anyone else are already not going to have much else to look forward to here. Meanwhile, the ways that Yusuke trains under Lord Raizen's kingdom, Hiei trains under Lord Mukoru's kingdom, and Kurama (and the six survivors from Teams Rokuyukai, Masho, and Uraotogi) trains under Lord Yomi's kingdom are not only short, but also appear to majorly take part off-screen. Even then, some of the stuff feels more close to borderline filler than any other parts of the series, such as how we learn about different kingdoms and who's second-in-command in them. While the idea of seeing them power themselves up to being S-class fighters is a novel one, the way it's executed is a bit more flawed than anything else.

What doesn't really help this saga out is how some of the new characters are voiced. I know that I didn't mention this until now, but up until this point, the characters in the English dub of this show are really awesome to listen to. Characters like Yusuke Urameshi, Botan, and Koenma all sound like how they should be, and even characters that would be secondary and minor to the story really do get connected with their acts in a beautiful manner. However, some of the characters in this saga in particular don't really sound all that right to me. The Daoist monks like Hokushin don't really sound all that enthusiastic or emotional over their roles, and even Lord Yomi sounds like he's more of a businessman-like voice over a voice that would resemble someone who wants to unify the worlds of the humans, spirits, and demons as one whole world under his supreme reign. I'm not completely knocking on the voice acting over this story since some people like Lord Raizen seem to be committed to their voice (not to mention the past voice actors that already fit here), but it's through those notions that make it feel more disconnected in that regard.

Even after all these years, the fun is actually quite nice here. Also, the point still stands with the monks.

However, what might be the ultimate sin against this saga is how it turns out after a year passes in this story's time. While everyone increases their powers over a significant amount of time, Lord Raizen finally dies, much to the chagrin of Raizen's followers and even Yusuke himself due to the fact that he couldn't personally defeat him in time, as well as to the delight of Lords Mukoru and Yomi. Once Yusuke finally accepts his role as the new leader of Raizen's monks, he starts out by requesting a meeting with Lord Yomi on something of great importance. While Lord Yomi wants the new and improved Kurama and his six followers to help assassinate Yusuke (and Hokushin) if they do something that he really dislikes, Yusuke reveals an interesting gift for Yomi that helps set up the new direction of this story. The gift involves Lord Raizen's priceless treasure of pearls that have engravings of names like Yusuke, Yomi, Mukoru, and many, many more with Yusuke explaining that the gift basically means that everyone's kingdoms become dissolved and there would be a democratic tournament of sorts that help determine rules over all of Demon World for at least 4 years before they restart it all over again. In other words, this story suddenly turns into the Dark Tournament 2.0, only not really.

Taking a story in a new direction is already risky as it is, and that's especially the case when you're tackling an idea that was already done much earlier in its story. While new characters do get introduced, such as Raizen's old friends that left him when he couldn't eat humans anymore and Yomi's (sort of) newborn son in Shura, those characters don't really gain as much of a prominent focus as other characters in the story. Oh sure, Shura and some of the old friends do have relevant plot points at hand, but when compared to the main characters, they almost feel like moot points. Even when the fights do occur, they kind of go on a bit too fast for my tastes. Coincidentally, this might be this saga's biggest problem around.

Now when I say the fights end too quickly, I don't necessarily mean that the fights should be on the pace of what DragonBall Z (its rival at the time) had done. Being too slow with its fights and stories also holds its major disadvantages. Rather, I'd just like to see some of the battles in the Demon World's tournament be more fleshed out over what we really got. In the anime, aside from the preliminary rounds that had 128 groups of 49 fighters compete against each other (which could also more or less be considered filler), the 4 true one-on-one fights shown here last only for one episode, with the exception of the final fight between Yusuke and the powerful demon named Yomi, which only lasts two episodes before they just outright say who won the tournament. On the other hand, while I don't really cover the manga all that much, the manga does it even worse because they don't even show the audience how the fight against Yomi went (aside from the beginning) and instead get what happened in later fights by Yusuke's exposition towards Kuwabara and Kurama! I don't care whether the author ran out of time of if he just didn't give a fuck about the story, but either way you slice it, that's just bad story writing there.

Admittedly, this story isn't as bad as what I had made it out to be, due to there being some things that I still enjoyed here. For starters, we finally get to see Hiei's true story on what he was like from being a newborn baby that almost died due to his ice tribe thinking he'd kill them all to finding out how he got his Jagan Eye and getting to where he is now, and everything else in between. Another interesting thing we get to find out is what Kurama's relationship with Yomi was like in the past, as well as how Kurama handles his internal struggles being his human self and his old, powerful demon self. Even Yusuke and the two surviving appear to have fine conclusions regarding what they do after the tournament (like how he ends up being okay with being fired as Spirit Detective in an acceptable manner). In fact, the conclusions this story brings up within the human world in terms of what Kuwabara, Yukina, and the other humans have is a nice way of ending the series in general. Unfortunately, this saga is also the shortest of the four at hand, and I have this sinking feeling that if some better ideas were committed to this story and added on more things to the story, it would have ended the series on a much higher note than what we've really got.

Conclusion
Even though the final saga was a bit more anticlimactic than what a usual viewer would have liked it to be, it's still a worthwhile story to watch from beginning to end. The artwork shown is not only nice to look at, but also fit what the show's going for, and the comedy is also good to see as well. Really, if you ever wanted to take a break from all the "kawaii" types of anime that are around or are looking for a good alternative action series that closely rivals Dragon Ball and its sequel, I personally recommend this one. As someone who isn't a big fan of anime, seeing the interesting stuff that goes on in here really does make you feel like what you've watched truly was worth it, even with some of the mistakes shown near the end. After all, the journey and what one must go through are much greater than the destination in question, and if the journey is as fun as this show has it going on, then sign me up for it!

Thank you for waking me up...

I'm typically somewhat skeptical of the modern-day Disney movie, which is a bit of a sad fact for me to admit. Going to the theater to see a movie isn't something that I'm often keen on, partly because going to see a movie both costs money and time that could be spent elsewhere, and a lot of times I simply want to know I'm getting my money's worth. It was for that reason, when the idea of going to see the first showing of Frozen popped up in conversation, my first reaction was to check the thread right here on the forums for thoughts on it.

Overall, now that I've gone to the theater, seen the film, come back home to reflect on it, and had a few weeks to fully get my thoughts in order, I think I can safely confirm something that most people have likely already been suspecting: Frozen really isn't all that much like what its advertising campaign would have you think it is.


For one thing, the protagonists are the two ladies next to the living snowman, not the living snowman himself.

Disney's Frozen – the 53rd entry into its Disney Animated Classics series – is a decent movie. I wouldn't call it great, and I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed, say, Tangled, but it's an interesting film that toys with a lot of story ideas that are common to Disney films. However, while it begins on a strong note, it's a film that ultimately weakens the longer it goes on. While I do believe it was worth spending money and time to see, I don't think it's nearly as polished of a movie as Wreck-It Ralph or Tangled were.

Part of this may have to do with the film's tumultuous history. Frozen is loosely based off of Hans Christian Andersen's story The Snow Queen; Walt Disney himself, back in the early 1940s, had plans of adapting Andersen's stories, but the team had difficulties adapting The Snow Queen into a form that would appeal to audiences at the time, causing the plans to ultimately be shelved. Much later, in the later half of the '90s, Disney began production on their own adaption of The Snow Queen, but the film was shelved a second time after members of the team ended up quitting.

The concept was revived a third time about five years ago, under the new name Anna and The Snow Queen and with plans to traditionally animate it, but the project once again found its development stunted due to difficulties getting the story and the Snow Queen character to work well together. After the project changed hands in 2011 and was renamed for the final time, to Frozen, production began to move forward again, and finally was finished and released this December.

The movie starts off very well, with a prologue scene that firmly establishes the setting and the two protagonists, Elsa and Anna, princesses of the kingdom of Arendelle. Elsa has the inborn ability to control and create ice and snow, and when both are young they decide to create a magical snowfield inside of the castle. While playing, Elsa accidentally strikes her younger sister's forehead with her magic, and the panicked royal family go to a clan of trolls nearby to get help. The elder troll heals Anna and changes her memories of Elsa's magic to normal winter days, and the king and queen lock up the castle to keep their daughter – and her secret - safe. Ten years later, the king and queen die in a storm at sea. Three years later, the movie begins proper with Elsa's coronation as the new ruler of Arendelle.

These introductory scenes, and the songs that play during them, are probably the highest points of the film, and provide the first of one of the many twists I like about the film – Frozen seems to realize it's a Disney movie, and likes to toy with the typical concepts associated with them at every turn. Anna is your typical Disney princess, for example, excited about the castle gates opening and the changes that she hopes will come to her otherwise dreary life, but Elsa is far less eager, worrying about the possibility of her powers being revealed; she would clearly rather have things stay the way they are, even though they can't, which I thought was an interesting choice. Both are the typical "girls in the tower" (albeit a castle instead of a tower), but while Anna is jovial and emotional, Elsa is stoic and distant.


"Conceal, don't feel."

Two other characters, the conniving Duke of Weselton and the charming Prince Hans (named after Andersen, of course), are introducing during the coronation scenes, and eventually Elsa's fears to come to pass as she uses her magic in front of all the guests. She panics and her powers go wild, flinging Arendelle into an eternal winter as Elsa exiles herself to the far mountains. Around this point is where I feel like the film starts to go downhill, though, which is a shame as it's not very far into the movie's running time, perhaps forty-five minutes out of an hour and forty-five. The rest of the movie feels somewhat rushed in pacing, as the rest of the film crams about six more songs in, which made the narrative and characters feel loose and rather underdeveloped.

The film is far less slapstick than what the commercials have implied, though - enough so that I was genuinely surprised at how seriously much of the movie played out. It's not tremendously dark by any means, but there are only a few moments where the slapstick truly comes into focus. Even Olaf the living snowman, who was heavily marketed in commercials and was a primary target of the initial derision about slapstick, only shows up about halfway or two-thirds into the movie, and almost never has the spotlight. The villain of the film is also a very surprising twist that I thoroughly enjoyed, and it's another one of the times the movie plays with its traditional Disney roots. Most of the humor that actually shows up in the film is far more wry and "aware" as well (such as a scene where Kristoff makes comments on the sheer lack of logic behind how smitten Anna is with Prince Hans).

The animation, at least, is quite good, though it isn't as impressive or “spectacular”, so to speak, as some of Disney's older efforts. The areas themselves look beautiful, and the eternal winter that settles through the kingdom and the mountains beyond it provides many chances for the snow and ice to shine, both figuratively and literally. However, the character designs aren't terribly expressive like many other Disney characters are, and at times things seemed to feel stiff and not smooth, though these times were still quite uncommon. I was still able to pick up on them, though, which is a problem.

The movie, billed as a musical, does at least provide plenty of music for the audience, but I didn't find most of it very memorable. Aside from Let It Go (where a still-fleeing Elsa decides to try and see how powerful her powers have gotten since she last used them), I can't remember the melodies of any other song, and there are around twelve songs played in the movie. I've already mentioned that the amount of songs is the primary cause of the rushed pacing later in the film, but the songs themselves also fall somewhat flat, which hurts it further. The most enjoyable thing about the film are the clever twists that show up in its writing, and those aren't enough to save the rest of the story.



Frozen's flaws start to show more and more as it goes on, and it ultimately didn't live up to my expectations, but that doesn't mean I thought it was a bad movie outright. I enjoyed the movie and I would go and see it again, but I would much more readily watch one of the Disney films released in the past few years instead if I had the choice. As a Disney film for the winter holidays, Frozen is nice, but I have a feeling that it won't stand the test of time like other entries in the Animated Classics series have. If you have the chance, then go and see it, but if you're expecting to be blown away, you'll come home disappointed.

What Frozen does offer as hope for the future, however, are its takes on the standard Disney formula. In terms of the movie itself, this doesn't help enough to save it from its problems. Its importance lies in what this could mean for any Disney films that are in production or may begin production later on - Disney formula has gotten to the point where stale is probably an understatement. I've seen other films with similar basic premises criticized for using a "Disney formula"; the sheer concept in-and-of-itself is a dead horse. Frozen used some moments to use this to its advantage: it knew exactly what its audience was probably expecting from the film and pulled the rug out from under them at a few pivotal turns. If Disney can keep this strategy going, perhaps even make an entire movie with this in mind, I have no doubt that it would be one of the best ways for the company to truly create something spectacular.

Ah, December. It's the time that kids pray for snow days and adults pray that they don't have to shovel the driveway out. But more relevantly, it's the time when people prepare to celebrate Christmas. Christmas has long been a tradition that has managed to impact everyone around them. Though it certainly has been difficult to come to a consensus nowadays. It's either the time where people learn to be kind and loving to one another, or when they become greedy and selfish. You're bound to come across a humble Santa Claus and a grouchy Scrooge around this month. The holiday's divisive nature is not completely unwarranted, as it's roots have long been a dispute. It appears to have connections to St. Nicholas, and also to the birth of Jesus. Then came the issue that some people though Christmas was choking the likes of Hannukah and Kwanzaa, and so came the issue of saying "Happy Holidays". After that came the issue of commercialization, which made people feel as though the values that the holiday was trying to capture were being sucked away as fast as money was on gifts. If that wasn't bad enough, there was also the issue of smaller bits of the holiday that managed to get on our nerves. We're here to basically talk about both sides of the coin, the things that we adore and abhor about the yuletide pastime. So let's eat some Christmas turkey and throw out that fruitcake and dive into one of the most recognized holidays in the world!

HerrVarden (Films For The Festivities):

It's safe to say that when Christmas comes around, it's the best time for all the sappy films to come out. It's mainly due to that feeling of relaxation that manages to dumb your senses down just enough so that you can enjoy any silliness involving Santa or getting the proper gift. These movies may be cheesy, but they brand a special kind of cheese that you get every once in a while. It's the kind of cheese that you put on select breads, crackers or wines and simply savor each second of it rather than have it for the sake of having it. Though that's not to say that there aren't some kinds of Christmas cheese that end up making you feel like you ate a whole ball of moss. For you see Christmas films are a volatile kind of campy. It's not like a summer blockbuster where there aren't as many rules to apply. They require precision and convoluted calculations so that they can be considered not only Christmas films, but also Christmas classics. See, a good example of the difference between the two is Die Hard. Die Hard works a summer blockbuster because it has explosions, fighting, guns, smart-ass jokes and a likeable protagonist. It does not work as a Christmas classic because it does not carry with it the essence of what the holiday is supposed to represent. You can throw as many ornaments and snow in the film as you please, but it is always going be a set-piece...nothing more, nothing less. It's still a good film regardless, but I don't think it really represents the holidays and much as people would make it seem as it does.

But getting away from my little pet peeve there, let's get to talking about some Christmas films. Specifically I want to talk about two because they summarize a lot of what the holidays represents to some. First off, I'd like to go with my favorite choice. It's a very tough thing to choose your favorite out of all of them. You have Home Alone which teaches us that we should be together for the holidays and Joe Pesci will struggle a lot to not swear. Then there's It's A Wonderful Life which teaches you about your self worth and how bad Jimmy Stewart's stutter really is. And we can't forget about A Christmas Story which teaches you that the world sucks whether you get that BB gun or not. There's more to list, no doubt, but by far one of the greatest ones, at least in my eyes, has to be Joyeux Noel. I remember seeing this in a French class and really enjoying it. Not simply because it was a French film that didn't throw me off with some bizarre quirk or nakedness, but because it made me think a lot more than most Christmas classics do.

This film talks about WWI at first, which is as fitting to the occasion as saying "Yippie kai yay, motherfuckers". The story really hits hard that this is a war mentality as you have the kids in classrooms from both sides of the war praising their country while slandering the enemies. It focuses on the French, Scottish and Germans, whom are fighting in the barracks as per usual. Along with that, there are some side-stories scattered within the soldiers, which while having their own significance, are superseded by the grander theme. It's your typical war film up until the point that Christmas comes by and it slowly leads up to a truce. Now, this isn't one of those famous film ass-pulls as this really did happen, though I wouldn't mind too much if it was because the way they present the concept is magnificent. It's common that war films and Christmas films tend to have a huge amount of sappy sentimentality that can sometimes make it seem like they're trying too hard to make you cry. Hell, with the two together, you figure that they're gonna throw in a cancer-ridden orphan boy in the mix singing an aria. Joyeux Noel's emotional side isn't exaggerated like that though.



It plays it up at the level that's necessary and the gravity of the situation is actually very powerful. The soldiers begin to create the truce by singing festive tunes, which might seem corny at first, but the music moves elegantly and expresses a connection between these men who are more focused on hating one another. Eventually a ceasefire is achieved and all the soldiers decide to get to know one another. They talk about their family and exchange chocolate and champagne, along with celebrating a mass and playing soccer. They show their humanity in the midst of the war and they find it so hard to continue even though that's what happens. The great beauty of the movie though is that while it shows this optimism that nears the border of "too romanticized", it still grounds the story by having the people who participate in the cease-fire be punished. It's heart-wrenching when you see that after that split second of humility that they have to be set back into the mindset of hatred. One part that really shows this is when you have the priest who held the mass be scolded by a bishop who then preaches to the soldiers about how the Germans are evil. You can even see in some of the soldiers' faces the same amount of mixed feelings and pain that is present on the priest. This film manages to take the bittersweetness of the situation along with the ever so present message of "good will towards all men" that Christmas represents and makes you feel that even in the darkest times, a sliver of light can always creep by and illuminate the world for a while.

With such a wonderful film, it's a shame that I have to now switch to the mean-spirited Grinch here and talk about bad Christmas films. There are some that are terrible, but you can't help but like. Jingle All The Way and the Jim Carrey The Grinch are the prime examples of this, though some might argue that Elf is that as well. But then there's the ones that are simply garbage, bar none (see: The Santa Clause). Originally I was thinking about putting A Christmas Story here, but I wasn't sure if I was saying that because I didn't quite enjoy it's uniquely dated presentation and annoying acting choices or if I was just being a contrarian curmudgeon, so instead I had to think really hard about the worst film. I hate to be predictable with a piece like this, but we can't deny that Christmas With The Kranks is probably the worst one.

Yet another winter wreck starting the Tool Man, this film is basically going to make all those who scoff at the holiday scoff even more. It talks about the Kranks, who generally celebrate the holidays up until the point that their daughter leaves to the Peace Corps. So, realizing that they're going to celebrate Christmas without her, they decide to take a cruise to the Carribean, which in turns means that they're not going to bother setting up all the things they need to do over the holidays. That in turn angers their residence which might as well be called Moraltown because it's just as putrid and hypocritical. It seems like there was a better script that was basically supposed to subvert the idea of Christmas, sort of acting as a satire of the culture surrounding it. T That is not necessarily a bad thing, films that make commentary about how obsessive or all-consuming Christmas can be can work. It simply requires good comedy, a proper understanding of what's wrong with the way Christmas is conducted and a moral that doesn't necessarily have to resort to an overblown chicle. Christmas With The Kranks is neither of those things. Rather it becomes a futile attempt to brush off a somewhat unique idea of a couple not following with the usual Christmas traditions by throwing in all the bad parts of Christmas classics to bury it. Oh and this too:



This film is basically a nasty guilt trip for a person who doesn't feel like setting a Christmas tree. The town does everything they can to force them into the spirit of the holidays, and having them set up decorations and what-have-you, and they form a campaign to go after the Kranks simply because they don't want to set up their house with a bunch of lights. But what's made worse is that you can't root for the Kranks because they cave in at the end. See, the premise would have worked well if they were just trying to celebrate the holiday in a new way and figured that they didn't need to set up anything because their daughter is away. That way it would make the community look vain in their attempts to "unite" themselves and not let the Kranks celebrate in the way they wish to. Hell, when the twist comes that the daughter is coming home, rather than them telling her "Sorry honey, we're going on a cruise. Maybe we can set something up so you can join us", they decide to go into the madness that they were trying so hard not to fall into. That in turn makes them unlikeable because rather than representing the holiday as a time where people don't need to be held to such absurd standards to have a merry time, they are instead acting like a bunch of psychopaths on Black Friday who represent everything wrong with the capitalist nature of the holiday. It's all made worse by the terrible comedy and the forced morality, which is a bad sign since a lot of Christmas films usually can get away with that. If there was a concise way to describe the film, it's basically "if you don't celebrate Christmas with decorations on your house, a pine tree, fruitcake, stockings and snow, fuck you".

Crazy Luigi (Music For The Questioned Soul):

Music has usually been a big part of our lifestyles, even when we may think otherwise. Whether it comes from video games, sports events, or even travelling to a different destination of sorts, music will always find a way to enter our lives in some form... unless you're deaf, but that's beside the point. However, when it comes to the month of December (and sometimes be as early as the beginning of November), local media places like radio stations and even town halls can easily remind you without warning that we are now entering the Christmas Spirit. With this time, either one of two thoughts can come into your mind: either you're ecstatic to hear joyous music like "Winter Wonderland" and "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" come on or you feel disdain over how repetitive hearing the same songs you heard every year beforehand come back once again. Personally, I'm more torn with myself on what I should be feeling, and that is more due to how I view Christmas music these days..



On one hand, we're pretty much given a break from music that would be considered banal and inane towards our society. You know songs like "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus and "Gas Pedal" by Sage the Gemini and IamSu? Well those songs are just very few examples of songs that are not only absolute shitty to listen to, but also sadly promote negative behaviors that we seriously don't need to see in a time like this. When it comes to Christmas music, the general idea of what they represent involve the basic positivity and good-will not only what the holiday represents, but also what we should strive to look at a bit more often ourselves. It's through songs like "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" that help really get to have a sense of better understanding on the December holidays are like for all people, regardless of race, creed, or nationality. In fact, there are still quite a few artists that have been able to either make really great covers towards such Christmas songs or have even been able to write their own Christmas songs altogether.

An example of an artist that has held a magnificent voice that could make almost any Christmas song sound better in its own way is Josh Groban. When listening to Josh singing, regardless of whether it's in English or Italian, you know that whatever the song he's singing, it's usually going to sound magnificent with his voice around (with an arguable exception being his contribution to the 25th anniversary of "We Are The World"), and the songs that relate to the holiday season certainly are no question. In addition, I personally own a few of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's CDs, and when it comes to how they do Christmas music, they create an atmosphere that not too many groups could create with the amount of people and instruments they have working with them, and for the most part, they produce songs that are pretty enjoyable to listen to during the month of December, original or otherwise. Speaking of original songs, who better to look for artists that could come up with nice, original Christmas music than the The Beatles and their individual members? Not only does the group have the song "Christmastime (Is Here Again)", but the individual members also celebrated with their own ways with "Happy X-Mas (War Is Over)" by John Lennon (with a hint of Yoko Ono inside), "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney (and Wings), "Ding Dong, Ding Dong" by George Harrison, and even Ringo Starr releasing his own Christmas album. Admittedly, while some of those songs might not have lasted through the test of time, it does show that if the right mindset comes into play, you could have enjoyable holiday songs celebrating what the holiday represents.

Still, while there are songs that represent the joys of Christmas, there are other songs that you just plain get sick and tired of listening to over and over again during every December, if not earlier than that. If you ever go through a day's worth of listening to Christmas music on the radio, you'll notice something about either Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (instrumental or not) or Frosty the Snowman come up, and considering that those songs always get played every single day during that time, you'd be hard-pressed to not dislike either song eventually. Not only that, but there are also some songs that can rub people off the wrong way on how screwed up their songs can truly be by having them sung about a Christmas-related theme, such as "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" or "Christmas Shoes" having some pretty iffy ideas on how their topics were dealt with. What probably makes these notions feel even worse is that any new Christmas songs that you hear these days, it feels more likely that it's going to be someone covering a song like "Oh Holy Night" or "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire" than someone trying to create something new and original. Even worse, the artists that do try to come up with something new for Christmas songs are either more negative about the holiday spirit or would go the route of Justin Beiber's "Mistletoe": people forgetting about it after a year or two of its existence. It's probably the lack of originality these days that can make someone hate Christmas music for a reason now.



The idea of Christmas music being uplifting is nice, but at the same time, there are still some Christmas songs that I enjoy listening to despite having a more saddening or glum feeling regarding them. For example, while I haven't really heard much of the song "Last Christmas" by Wham! in the past, the song does come up the radio from time to time again, and despite it being a break-up song that has Christmas involved in its chorus, there's something about it that gives off a feeling of happiness that I somehow don't get from other, cheerier Christmas songs. Another song that comes to mind on how sad Christmas time could be for some people that I could also still enjoy is the more popular and well-known "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley, which has a more somber environment that somehow also feels strangely comforting during this time of year in the process. Hell, even I can admit that the Christmas version of "We Are The World" (known better as "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid) can be pretty enjoyable to listen to, as well as some songs that you don't hear on the radio that list out the negatives of Christmas can be fun to listen to when you're in the right mood for listening to these kinds of songs. Still, when I think about what type of Christmas music I enjoy a bit more than others, the songs that I could find a bit more enjoyment over more often than not pointed out the negatives of the holiday instead of the positives. To me, that kind of shows a bit of a sad type of failure on the part of the promoters of Christmas songs.

At the end of the day, however, music is pretty much a subject of personal tastes over anything else. While someone like me can get sick and tired of the Spanish sung "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano since it's pretty repeats itself for three minutes with some different changes in music making it sound like it's different when it really isn't, someone else like a young child could get into a song like that and Frosty the Snowman due to its magical whimsy that it has. At the same time, a song that more describes the winter holiday like "Winter Wonderland" may be great to listen to if you live in a place like New York, Pennsylvania, or Alaska, which has plenty of snow involved, but might appear to be a bit pointless in places like Arizona, Florida, or even Hawaii where little to no snow would appear in these places whatsoever due to the heat that comes through these states. Even songs from cartoons like "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown" can still be enjoyed by people from all ages, regardless of whether the songs are in actual context relating towards the show or if it's just the audio being heard through something like the radio. Really, it's all about how one views Christmas music that makes an opinion on it stand out from anything else. So whether you're sitting by the fire listening to "Let It Snow" and watching a Christmas film like "A Christmas Story" or if you're just treating the month of December like any other month with nothing truly special going on, the idea of wishing good-will towards others alongside spending more quality time with family and friends can still be something that we could take fond measures of what we're like as humans before moving on to a brand new year of hope.


supreme_slayer (Simply Giving):


Charity might be one of those things that most anyone can talk about and say is good, as its name alone tells of good will and helping others, which is especially a strong sentiment around the holidays. However. charity for me it hits home on a personal level, especially during Christmas time, for a good number of reasons. Not only have I been greatly involved in a few charitable organizations in the past such as Red Cross and those which seek to assist the physically and mentally handicapped, but as I was growing up in a household of five children we were what many would consider “poor”. In years I was too young to recollect my mother would even be forced to go without food herself to keep the rest of us fed, but that's not something I want to discuss now. In the years I DO remember, while we certainly did have all of the essentials we needed to live, whenever the holidays came around there was quite the stress in our household over what presents my mother would be able to afford for us.
Sometimes, if things went well that year, we would get mountains of presents and things such as foosball tables or video games, but more often than that I can remember the years when very little boxes were found beneath the tree. However, we never, ever went without more than these few toys, as a man dressed in a santa outfit would visit our home in those meager years and drop off big bags of toys. We of course believed when we were younger this was the real santa, but in actuality it was a kind soul from a local organization which collected presents for the less fortunate—known by us as Community Christmas, though I'm not sure if that's what people typically call these things. Most of the time when I was younger these presents would be wrapped in secret by my mother, but as we got a bit older she decided not to bother, and gave us our gifts just as they had come. While clad in giant, unattractive trash bags, we didn't care about the lack of wrapping and would eagerly dig in to find out what else we had gotten for the year.
Inevitably, there would be essentials such as hats and socks, but those few teddy bears, coloring books, light-ups and other such toys always made us much happier that season than we would have been without. As an adult now, I could say that I'd be fine without any presents from anyone, but as a child, there's a lot of expectation there, and it would be heart crushing for the one and only time you are supposed to get the things you wanted to end up a bust. For this reason, now knowing what was really going on all those years, I have a special spot in my heart for charities such as those that give presents to children. Whether it be Toys For Tots, Community Christmas, or anything less known, it's a great feeling to me, knowing that a child won't be left wishing there were something beneath their family's tree.
Of course at the same time, there are many other kinds of organizations and charities in the world, and especially around the holidays they ramp up their own collection campaigns. After all, it is the season of giving. You can't exactly be angry at someone for trying to help their community or a greater cause out. However, we do have to admit, and all likely know, that it becomes extremely overbearing and grinds on us over time. At every street corner, at every store, someone is jingling a bell in front of a bucket, asking us if we want to donate a dollar here or a dollar there, if we want to purchase something to donate, and so on. There certainly is nothing wrong with giving, but everyone has their own limits, and being bombarded with all of this makes many turn a bit sour or cold to the concept altogether.

The store I work for even did this with a charity for military families where people would donate toys, and of course I had to hear every excuse in the book as a result. Many of my coworkers didn't even like to ask customers if they wanted to donate or not because it seemed like a burden to them, though for reasons already explained I had no personal qualms with it. From an outside perspective, all of this can seem cynical and mean, though it's very easy to think of all these charities in a negative sense when put in the other's shoes, trying to scrounge us for every penny using our emotions and the excuse of “it's the holidays”. You think that giving a bit will make you feel better and somehow make it stop, but it just keeps going and going and you're expected to donate more and more ("I've already donated to something else" isn't really much an excuse) until the holidays finally pass and everyone has slept off their eggnog, returning to status quo.

Tofucakecan (The Shopping Query):

There are some things in life that I’ll never do. Skydiving…pursuing a career in the armed forces…noodling (yes there’s actually something called noodling). Why won’t I do these things? Because they all have an inherent element of danger and the reward doesn’t outweigh the risk.


In various parts of Europe, adrenaline junkies take part in a ridiculous “tradition” called “The Running of the Bulls”. A practice that became popular in areas that held bullfights, a group of bulls are let loose on a specially blocked of path that usually leads to the arena where the bullfight was to occur. Participants run along the same path and run the risk of being seriously injured or killed, and yes, people have died while doing this. I’ll be just fine going to my grave and never having run with the bulls.

Why am I bringing up this European tradition in an article about Christmas? Because in the United States we have an equally dangerous tradition we celebrate during the Christmas season. It has become so popular in recent years that people line up hours before it starts to take part in it, often sitting outside in freezing temperatures. Many people take time off from work to attend, and some businesses even give people the day off. It happens in every city across the country, and just like The Running of the Bulls, people get injured regularly and some people have even died taking part. The only difference is that our event doesn’t have any bulls…well not literally.

If you haven’t figured out, I’m talking about Black Friday; the busiest shopping day of the year in the United States. Some accounts will tell you the name “Black Friday” comes from retailers who spend January to November operating in the red, and the sales from day after Thanksgiving put them “in the black”. I’m more inclined to believe that the term comes from the retail workers and the dread they feel when they’re face to face with thousands of hostile consumers sprinting to get a Tickle-Me-Elmo for 50% off at 3am.

The holiday has become such a train wreck in recent years that Black Friday is becoming more known for crazy behavior than crazy deals. On top of that, retailers are constantly trying to out-do each other in order to increase sales, and that includes opening earlier and earlier each year. I was working in a small electronics store during Black Friday 2002, and we opened at 6am, which seemed early but still reasonable. Black Friday 2003 was a different story. The store I was working at opened at 5am, which meant that the workers had to be there by 4:30am. I lived half an hour away so I had to leave my house by 4am, and I had to wake up at 3:30am just to get ready. This, to me, felt absolutely ridiculous. Thanksgiving was supposed to be about family, stuffing your face, and being able to relax and slow down. At 5am, the customers came flooding through our doors, and within five minutes there was a 20 foot line at the registers (which basically went up to the front doors). Everyone working stayed until at least 6pm (12 hours) and some worked straight to closing time (15 hours). I was lucky enough to be able to leave retail work for many years after that. But on Black Friday 2012, I found myself back in retail due to a struggling economy, and this time I was working for the largest retailer in the world, Wal-Mart. I had to come in at 10pm on Thanksgiving night, and work until 5am Friday morning. Then I had to come back in at 3pm Friday and work until 10pm.

In recent years there has been a sort of “moral backlash” against Black Friday, many people are fed up with the unabashed consumerism from the retailers and the greed of the customers who act like they would buy horse manure if it was on sale. K-mart came under fire this year for starting Black Friday at 6am on Thursday and staying open for 41 hours straight. That’s right; Black Friday has become so huge it’s taking over Thanksgiving too. And the backlash came from both employees and customers alike. Some claimed that they were treating their employees unfairly and therefore didn’t deserve the customers, while others were of the opinion that “K-mart employees don’t have to work there if they don’t like the work schedule. I love a good deal as much as the next person, but personally I’d rather stay home in my pajamas the day after Thanksgiving instead of asking retail workers to give up their holiday or time to sleep, so I can save a few bucks on a new TV. Then I’d go buy the TV online during “Cyber Monday”.

We all love Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. We love watching Sonic and Tails’ Looney Toons-esque adventures in Mobius. We love hearing strange new voices projected onto our favorite video game characters. We love catching odd frames of animation, like the obscene close-up at the start of “Tails in Charge.” We love Robotnik and all of his antics, especially when they involve diplomas, teeth, superheroes, eggs, and eroticism, among other things. We love twisting the series’ weirdness into even more surrealism and sexuality, if “chocolate covered cock” is any indication. And we almost agree with cartoonist/animator Milton Knight when he calls Robotnik the “world’s sexiest fat man.” Actually, we agree completely.

Today the YouChew Writing Staff asks the question: “What’s your favorite AoStH episode?” It’s not easy to boil the series down to the 10 best parts, and as much as we’d like to choose the 10 with the highest amount of Robotnik screentime, we have to disagree on what makes a perfect AoStH episode. Members of the Writing Staff, Moderator Team, and forum on a whole have answered that question, and we’d like to present you with their choices and rationales, below. Read at your own pleasure, and for Robotnik’s.


Crazy Luigi's Pick: "Sonic's Christmas Blast"




Unlike mostly everyone else here, I didn't really grow up watching any cartoons of Sonic the Hedgehog. In fact, the only flat out Sonic "cartoon" I watched back when actually did air a Sonic show on TV was the anime known as "Sonic X," and that probably wasn't the best way for someone to start things out for watching Sonic. In fact, I didn't even know that some other Sonic cartoons even existed until I started watching YouTube Poops back when The Electric Cheese was MrSimonAlt. While the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was a fun little cartoon that really showed off why it deserved to be YouTube Pooped in the same way that the Mario cartoons and the CD-i games of Mario and Zelda were used, the episode that personally showed off a "best of both worlds" scenario of sorts for me was coincidentally the last episode of the entire series.

While I would hark on it being a Christmas episode, what helps make this episode stand out more is that it also connects itself in a sense with another Sonic cartoon that would come out in the near future in the fan nicknamed "Sonic SATAM" (because the original title was just Sonic the Hedgehog). With this episode, you still get some of the fun, if not goofy details that make the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog stick out, such as having Dr. Robotnik kidnapping Santa Claus for his own nefarious purposes or having Scratch and Grounder do what they're best known for. However, you also get hints of what Sonic's next step was going to take with the introduction of Sally Acorn and how more action paced some of the scenes would be here. As for the story, it's a pretty simple Christmas fair on the evil guy playing Santa Claus and Sonic and Tails have to go stop Dr. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder before Christmas is over. However, there's something about its execution that I could get behind with.

Maybe it's due to how the animation looks upgraded when compared to some of the series' past episodes. Or maybe it has to do with how much the series ended up growing from where it was before up until this point. While I do appreciate the other episodes for what they brought towards us, this episode kind of becomes a stand out point for me. The only negative I could really say here is that there probably should have been a "Sonic Sez Says" piece that could have potentially been really enjoyable to watch instead of not having one altogether. On the other hand, considering the fact that it is a Christmas episode, we could skip the moral for a day and enjoy the cartoon for what it's worth. After all, it's just like Dr. Robotnik said (albeit a bit paraphrased), happiness gives me so much joy (when based off the misery of others).


HerrVarden's Pick: "Lovesick Sonic"



It's hard to pinpoint the absolute best quality about this episode, mainly because it has a great deal of amusing factors. For one, the plot's simplistic yet entertaining. Sonic saves a sultry damsel in distress by the name of Breezie from Scratch and Grounder, unbeknownst to him that she's a secret agent working for Dr. Robotnik to distract him from his master plan to flood an entire city. It has enough room to insert Scratch and Grounder's bumbling antics as well as a few side-gags that are involved when Sonic goes to please Breezie. I'll admit that a great deal of what brings me into the episode is the voice actress of Breezie, Venus Terzo. At first it was due to my fascination for film-noir femme fatale esque voices which was made hilarious by the juxtaposition of being in a cartoon with a blue hedgehog, but I later came to realize that she's been doing a lot of roles, some of them being Weddy in Death Note, Female Ranma in Ranma 1/2 and Princess Lana in Captain N. There's far more I can list, but to see such an extensive resume of any actor is a feat in and of itself. Oddly enough, it's a versatile list too, which I truly admire hearing. It just shows how great she can do her job.

The episode also shows just how great AoSTH is as a source. The animation smears are vast, and Dr. Robotnik steals the show every single chance he gets. From that big smirk he makes after throwing the phone in a maniacal laugh to the affirmation that his two bumbling minions can't help him on his expedition to being pulled by the bungee cord, with his mustache getting blown into his face. You could just tell that they were having fun animating him. The episode has a great deal of comedy with a slight bit of Saturday-morning style "drama" inserted as well. Seeing Tails act more as a jealous, homosexual two-tailed fox is definitely the best unintentional humor that the cartoon has ever devised. It was predictable that Breezy falls for Sonic I suppose, but I think their romance was probably the most genuine romance in all the franchise's history. The cherry on top, as you'd imagine, is the Sonic Sez talking about sexual harassment. I get the feeling that the episode was originally supposed to have more groping involved, but they had to re-do the episode for obvious reasons. It'd be like the "Rude Removal" of the series, with more uncomfortableness and possibly less swearing. If not, then I have no idea why they decided to have Sonic, of all things, talk to the little kids about staying away from their ministers and people with candy, but I sure as hell can't complain due to just how beautifully perplexing it is.



Mushrooms' Pick: "Hero of the Year"

AoStH just wouldn't be as legendary in the poop community (you know, those two words together sound hilarious now that I think about it. Poop community.) if it weren't for Robotnik. He basically makes the entire show. Robotnik has some incredibly memorable moments throughout the entire show and mentioning all of them would require me to write a whole book on the matter, but out of all the episodes, he shines the brightest in "Hero of the Year."

We start this one out with Scratch and Grounder hijacking a limo Wes Weasley is riding as part of a scheme by Robotnik to get Sonic to save it so Weasley can promote a dinner celebration for Sonic in exchange for Robotnik giving Weasley a dedicated shopping channel. This episode happens to feature nearly all of the one-off characters from earlier episodes, like Breezy, Robotnik Jr., and DAAAAA BEARS. After the dinner party, Robotnik comes in and traps everyone involved and slaps him in a cell underwater.

Yes, that's Robotnik in a goddamn bikini. Witness it in its full glory. Just sit back for a second and realize they drew a frame of Robotnik in a bikini. Go ahead and ogle at it for a few minutes. I'll wait.

But let's cut to the chase here, Robotnik. I love how smug he sounds when describing his plan to sink the yacht with Sonic's friends to Sonic himself. I also love how Robotnik explains how he plans to host his own celebratory dinner party on the yacht as it's slowly flooding, with the certainty that his friends will be "delighted to cum". Afterwards, at Robotnik's "Villain of the Year" party, we have a showcasing of the various dickish deeds he's done in previous episodes, like the anti-music Robot. He just sits there with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face while watching what he's done and it's hilarious. The only speakers there are Scratch and a Mr. Grounder Robot, the former of which wasn't applauding. Oh, and let me throw this in here, too.

After that, Weasley finds out his shopping channel isn't set to broadcast and after pulling the contract out of his crotch, he goes out and saves Sonic. The last part with Robotnik in the episode involves Sonic hijacking Robotnik's party and playing the clip from The Robotnik Express where Robotnik's bomb factory blows up. In the same fashion as the clip from that episode, Wes Weasley makes a train crash in through the wall out of fucking nowhere and slam right into Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, where the sheer impact force most likely destroyed their vital organs/robot parts upon impact.


SkyBlueFox's Pick: "Robotnikland"




It's somewhat difficult for me to really pick a favorite episode of AoStH, since in general I consider it one of my favorite shows. That's partly due to nostalgia, as I grew up constantly picking up VHS tapes of the show from the local Blockbuster. However, if I had to pick just one, I'd have to go with "Robotnikland."

The reason I feel like this episode works so well is because it's, pun unintended, one gigantic roller coaster ride of miniature Robotnik schemes, culminating in a scene where Sonic turns the tables and puts Robotnik and his goons through an insane little ride of his own. Looking past the technical aspects of the show, "Robotnikland" is entertaining simply because it, like AoStH is known for, just goes wild in its own ridiculousness, and it really uses the characters to a great extent. Sonic is snappy and savvy (sometimes too much so for his own good), Tails is kind but naive, and Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder are consistently goofy, amusing and simply fun to watch through the entire twenty minutes. Some of the other episodes of the show, like the one with Quark Rex, have a lot of Robotnik and his goons, but they aren't quite as in their element in those as they are here. This episode is a standard episode in theory - Robotnik tries to capture Sonic and Tails - but by simply mashing together multiple different schemes, with the amusement park as a backdrop, it ends up becoming more than the sum of its parts. AoStH is known for being the wacky Sonic show, and I think that essence of wackiness really shines through in "Robotnikland."


TheFXexpert26's Pick: "Hedgehog of the Hound Table"



My favorite episode is "Hedgehog of the Round Table." This episode has the usual slapstick and craziness I love and it offers an engaging plot. Robotnik is on his way to find the second emerald in order to become the "Supreme High Robotnik." His unquestionably modest ambitions land him in the middle ages, a land of kings, dragons, and sorcery. By utilizing the science of tree catapulting he somehow propels himself to Merlix the Magician's lair to seize the chaos emerald of invincibility. No doubt that my favorite part about the episode is Robotnik's antics especially after he obtains the emerald. He is eager to show off his new powers by having his robot minions unleash their most powerful laser weapons on him. However, Scratch and Grounder almost turn Robotnik into a 300 pound crispy bacon breakfast. Robotnik finds out the emerald will not activate until the holder becomes King of the Hound Table. So Robotnik proceeds to do what he knows how to do best: conquer. The Knights of the Hound Table are no match for Robotnik's techno gizmos. Sonic arrives to save the kingdom. Robotnik is surprised by his appearance and denies that he could have followed him here, so Sonic intends to prove his identity by showing his credit card and immediately, this comes to my mind.

Robotnik forces Merlinx to use his magic on Sonic and turns his shoes into stone. With Sonic immobilized, Robotnik is free to rule the kingdom. The emerald of invincibility activates, making Robotnik even more sexy than he was before. I love how Robotnik enjoys the invincibility. This part is full of evil smiles and fun quotes. My favorite quote comes during the jousting match after Sonic disarms Robotnik and proceeds to taunt him: "What are you going to do without your lance Robutnik?" Robotnik answers, "THIS!" and suddenly blasts Sonic with a laser weapon. But I also love the part where Robotnik prances down the stairs like some sort of ballerina while he describes what to do with Sonic. It's definitely not one of the more well known episodes, but it has a lot going for it.


VGFM's Pick: "Tails' New Home"

What makes this episode work is that it manages to tell a heartfelt story while still keeping with the laughs. It never feels like there’s any sort of clash in the mood and the characters’ motives and reactions feel natural. Even the scene of Sonic lamenting on the cliff has funny visuals and is in-character for him: it’s only when he’s by himself that he speaks candidly about giving up Tails, which is true to his show-offy, never-lose-face personality.

If a modern Sonic writer wrote this story, you can bet there’d be some kind of dramatic near-death scene for Tails in the beginning, followed by a buddy-cop styled “you’re off the case!” argument, and then when Sonic leaves Tails with his real parents he goes to cut himself.

Crawling in my skin...

Call me old-fashioned, but I almost always prefer a proper narrative to mindless entertainment; thankfully for me, "Tails’ New Home" has both. Having Robotnik’s “prrromotion” and “shocked reaction to a monitor” scenes in it is a nice bonus as well. The only weaknesses I can think of are that the Sonic Sez segment is easily the worst of the series (and not even in a funny way) and Robotnik doesn’t get much screen time, but his appearances make up for lack of quantity with quality.

The Top 5 Albums of 2013

Nozdordomu's List

Vampire Weekend: Modern Vampires of the City and Janelle Monáe: The Electric Lady

2013 was the year of radical reinventions in music. Daft Punk time travelled back to the late 70s, Justin Timberlake tested his audience's patience with 8-minute R&B jams, Kanye tried to be both Death Grips and Odd Future, Death Grips made a pretty song, Miley whored it up big time, Arcade Fire went full-on synth-pop, Paramore hung out with Beck's bassist, and both Fall Out Boy and Queens of the Stone Age recorded with Elton John. Meanwhile, Vampire Weekend dropped acid on a merry-go-round, and Janelle Monáe delighted us once again.

I didn’t give these albums full spots because they both have weak second halves. Think of it as two great half-albums put together. And man, those first halves are great. Vampires and Lady are tons of fun to listen to, but they’re also smartly made. They gave us the best album openers of the year, “Obvious Bicycle” (with a stellar harmony vocal) and “Givin Em What They Love” (with a Prince cameo!). Beyond that, “Q.U.E.E.N.” and “Ghetto Woman” might have the best rap breaks of the year, and “Unbelievers” and “Diane Young” might have the best instrumental breaks of the year. Neither album is afraid to take on multiple styles and genres, with harpsichords, synthesizers, and Irish folk winds played on Vampires and just about every kind of popular music featured on Lady. Even if both albums lose steam by the end, they’re strong enough to deserve at least a few listens each.

Deafheaven: Sunbather

Sunbather is all of these things and more: San Francisco band Deafheaven’s sophomore album, a unique synthesis of black metal and shoegazing, four long vocal pieces separated by three shorter instrumental songs, a work with literary aspirations (the band quotes Kundera and Shakespeare), a sort-of concept album about singer George Clarke’s life (though you can’t make out most of it), and a metal album wrapped in a feminine pink cover. Above all, it’s great music.

This album really put Deafheaven on the map. Their brand of “blackgaze” – metal with shoegaze guitars, more or less – is natural, seamless, and expressive, and they sound confident on every track. Even if the band uses spoken word, piano, and major keys (not to mention that cover), the album doesn’t feel “sissy” or pretentious in the slightest. There’s an unusual power in their combination of vocals, guitars and drums, especially in the first few minutes of opener “Dream House,” the guitar solo in “Vertigo,” the climax of the title track, the second half of “Please Remember,” and the beginning and end of closer “The Pecan Tree.” Clarke’s raw emotions – he’s practically screaming his heart out – find balance in guitarist Kerry McCoy’s sophistication, responsible for all of the great guitar work. The balance keeps the album from overstepping its bounds, because the guitarist and the vocalist depend so much on and bring out the best in each other. Not everyone will like this album; many have debated whether it’s really metal, and some have called it “hipster metal.” Ignore the genre tags and Pitchfork endorsements, though, and it’s simply an excellent album. The only bad thing about it is that it fades out.

Danny Brown: Old

Out of all the rap albums released in 2013, I enjoyed Danny Brown’s Old the most. Brown’s got some of the best flow, rhymes, and taste in samples out of the up-and-coming rappers. He’s got a good sense of humor too, though he’s not afraid to get serious either. Unlike most rappers, he has two distinct voices: the loud-mouthed, hysterical party guy, heard on “Dip” and “Kush Coma”; and the more normal-sounding, sober man, heard on “Clean Up” and “Float On.” The interplay between the two voices gives the record variety and keeps it from losing momentum.

Of course, it’s hard to lose momentum with songs of manageable length. Old is kind of like Madvillain in that respect: too many songs, but they’re so short – and so good – that cutting them wouldn’t make sense. Also like Madvillain, it’s structured like a classic record, with the A-side and B-side indicated by track titles. Maybe it’s not fair to call Old a classic, but it does feel closer to the original “old school” than most rap albums. Out of all the year's rap albums, this sounded most like a rap album. Even the “bad” parts – the cheesy orchestral segues in “Dope Song,” the falsetto chorus of “Kush Coma,” and the mere inclusion of “Wonderbread” – seem to work to the album’s benefit. Overall, I’d come back to this one a lot.

Daft Punk: Random Access Memories

Flawed as it is, Random Access Memories is my most-listened album of the year. At first I only wanted to listen to it once – and I never want to hear “Get Lucky” again – but I kept coming back to it, putting “Fragments of Time” and “Instant Crush” on repeat and even listening to “Touch” a few times. I might only be able to enjoy “Within” on an ironic level, but I’d never call the whole album a guilty pleasure because it’s so legitimately good. It’s Daft Punk’s most musically varied album, for better and for worse, and it’s got some of the best musical ideas of the year, although it doesn’t develop all of them. Songs like “Giorgio by Moroder,” “Motherboard,” and “Contact” take the band’s repetitive style and turn it on its head, with string sections, real vintage keyboards (for once), slide guitars, big-name singers (Pharrell!), and the signature vocoders added to the formula to great effect.

RAM might not be the most heartfelt music; “Touch” is the closest thing to “emotional” Daft Punk has done, and that comes off as cheesy to some. (It's my personal favorite on the album.) Many have complained that it’s the same old repetitive band in analog sound, or that it’s programmed and organized to the point of losing all feeling, or that it’s just a tour of guest stars. These complaints all have merit. However, when I listen to RAM, I don’t hear a soulless imitation of past music; I hear two guys who love that music so much that they’ll build a whole soundscape for it, bringing in other singers and musicians only to realize that vision. It may be too cerebral for some, but it’s definitely not for me. I find it very enjoyable, and we could use more pop with the same amount of effort put into it. (I’m still sick of “Get Lucky,” of course. Why do good songs have to be ruined by overplay?)

My Bloody Valentine: mbv

An album so long in the making, it just had to be good. Kevin Shields, My Bloody Valentine’s composer, guitarist, and perfectionist, isn’t known for his punctuality; Loveless took so long to record that it almost bankrupted its label. Twenty-two years after Loveless came out, the band self-released mbv, offering it for free online, as if the fans deserved that for waiting so long. Thankfully, the album turned out to be worth the wait. To be fair, people who aren’t already fans of My Bloody Valentine might not get into it. Still, it’s hardly a disappointment. Songs like “Only Tomorrow” and “In Another Way” stand up to the classics on Loveless, and the album on a whole is almost as good.

You do have to wonder how a band can take a 22-year hiatus and come back sounding almost exactly the same. You’d think the years would’ve taken a toll on Shields’ guitar playing, or at least on Bilinda Butcher’s vocal sound, but that’s not the case. What’s the difference between this album and the last? Maybe it’s the fact that Shields, not Butcher, sings the first notes of “She Found Now”? Or that “If This and Yes” sounds like the soundtrack to a Pikmin game? I don’t know. It is nice to know, though, that some things don’t have to change. mbv gives us the same ol’ shoegazing, 20-guitar-tracks-at-once, breathy-sung, drum-looped My Bloody Valentine, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Note: The last song is called “Wonder 2.” I just want to make a reference to “Bound 2,” which is the last song on Yeezus. The comparison ends there.

Crazy Luigi's List

Honestly, 2013 was just a year where the music scene kind of felt a bit disappointing, if not unmemorable whatsoever. Sure there were things like Kendrick Lamar's "Control" verse and Miley Cyrus' transformation into...whatever the hell she's transformed into that sparked plenty of controversy towards the media, but even then that stuff feels like it'll be completely forgotten about in due time. When it came to music that I feel like I could listen to, that felt so few and far between that any album that could get me invested in it multiple times felt more like a rarity than a common trait. Even then, there were some albums that I felt that I had to cut out on in order to be honest with myself, as well as some albums that I might have forgotten about altogether even though they may have been good albums in their own ways. Now I must apologize if the variety in artists that I liked had decreased due to what came out of this year, but hopefully you could understand at least some of my reasons as to why I enjoyed these albums more than any other albums released this year.

Daft Punk's Random Access Memories

When it comes to an album that was released this year that gave me a lot of joy in the process, no album did it more than Daft Punk's Random Access Memories. The French duo that disguise themselves as robots have usually been known to make catchy tunes under an electronic guise that have worked out for them in the past. However, the group decided that while they do want to put in some electronics in their music, they also want to have more variety in what they want to put into their music. In fact, you could make a case that their album is more representing as a tribute to music in general, not just one genre as a whole. In that case, it's a pretty damn great tribute to it.

From the very beginning, you will notice that Daft Punk is putting out a much greater variety of music out than just the electronic-inspired songs that they usually put out on their albums. Songs like "Give Life Back To Music" and "Giorgio By Morodor" show off how much more variety they're going to put on this album more than any other out there. Some songs can deviate a lot more from what they've shown off, such as the funk inspired songs that also include "Lose Yourself To Dance" and the smash hit "Get Lucky", while other songs like "The Game of Love" and "Doin' It Right" give off more of an electronic style of music that fans of Daft Punk have come to know and love over the years. Regardless of where your stance on the group may be at, you can't deny that the changes that they bring up are quite massive and, in a way, almost thankful that we have them in a year such as 2013. "Get Lucky" might very well stand out as the modern-day version of what Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" is like, and it certainly stands out as one of the better pop songs released in that time as well (especially when it came to stuff like the attention whoring that Miley Cyrus is doing), and every other song that's on this album truly has an environment that stand out more than others. While I can say that there is at least song that I don't really like due to how pretty damn disjointed it feels, the rest of the album more than makes up for it to the point where I could call it my personal favorite album of 2013.

Absolute favorite tracks: "Give Life Back To Music" (feat. Nile Rodgers and Paul Jackson Jr.), "Giorgio By Morodor" (feat. Giorgio Morodor), "Get Lucky" (feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers), "Doin' It Right" (feat. Panda Bear); Least favorite track: "Touch" (feat. Paul Williams).

Hopsin's Knock Madness

For those of you that had read up on my article involving the XXL Freshmen rappers of 2012, you'd notice that one of the rappers that I gave out plenty of praise towards was a rapper named Hopsin. Well, let it be known that I was aware of his existence personally before I even saw him as a candidate, and let me tell you that the songs that I heard beforehand were really awesome. His first two albums looked to help set Hopsin apart from other rappers in his genre, and by the usage of his raps and even singing aspects in most points, he succeeded in exactly that. However, his third album here looks to try and make him give off a message that he wants to deliver to his audience personally by doing almost everything by himself. Let me tell you this; while it does have a few underwhelming shortcomings against it, I feel that it personally succeeds in his own goals as an artist.

As someone that has been pressured through multiple areas, such as having his own fans doubt on him too quickly and hating humans for their shortcomings in society, Hopsin has decided to let out plenty of his own feelings and opinions while also admitting out stuff that he's okay with letting out against his own self. His willingness to admit that he knows some areas truly are where he sucks at in skateboarding with "Nollie Tre Flip", showing care for a friend that looks to be lost with "Old Friend", and showing how he wants to have a bit more fun with himself with "Lunchtime Cypher", just to give off some ideas of what he's like. Not only that, but he also tackles some situations with some drama involved like in "Dream Forever", as well as some comedy in the mix for "Gimme That Money". With Hopsin, he shows that unlike most other rappers at hand, he is human and he is willing to accept faults at hand, as well as be more outlandish when required. What helps Hopsin out is that he uses more clever lines with nice instrumentals (with all of them being made by him) that help make him show that he's truly dedicated to his craft to make it work as best as he can. While it might not be fully better than his last album (especially since I could do without the song "Good Girls Get Left Behind"), it still ends up being one of the best rap albums of this last year.

Absolute favorite tracks: "Hop Is Back", "Rip Your Heart Out" (feat. Tech N9ne), "Hip Hop Sinister", "Lunchtime Cypher" (feat. Passionate MC and G-Mo Skee), "Dream Forever"; Least favorite track: "Good Guys Get Left Behind".

Danny Brown's Old

Continuing on with the topic of former XXL Freshmen from 2012, Danny Brown was a guy that I also found to be a nice rapper to listen to; the problem was that the first impression he left with on his appearance with XXL was a bit more negative than some others would hope for. Maybe it was because of his voice or maybe it was due to how he appeared to be like most other rappers when he rapped, but whatever the case may have been, people didn't really like it. However, I was still willing to give Danny Brown a chance with his XXX album, and that album really showed off a case of why first impressions aren't necessarily everything. When it came to XXX, he ended up using more unique beats and extremely exaggerated lines that ended up working for him throughout the album; he also showed that while he's still known for rapping about drugs and sex, there are serious topics that truly make him stand out as an artist just as well as the topics that most rappers would end up talking about. Danny himself claimed that if XXX was like Radiohead's OK Computer, then this album would be considered his Kid A, and when it came to what I heard, he's not too far off from his statements.

Unlike how XXX had a first side talk about his affinity with sex and drugs and the second side be more serious with his shit, Old gives off the exact opposite on how he has "Side A" representing the old side of Danny Brown that most people aren't truly familiar with in terms of what he's rapping about, with "Side B" giving off a familiar vibe that fans of his XXX album could enjoy as well. When it comes to Side A, it really is a magnificent album that showcases not only his personal roots as a young child turned rapper (such as "25 Bucks" with Purity Ring and the almost skit-like song "Wonderbread"), but also how some of the instances of his past affect his present with negative consequences (such as with "Lonely" and "Clean It Up"). In fact, if the album was just Side A, I'd more than likely have rated this album as the best rap album, if not best album of 2013 in general; it's just a shame that Side B didn't really hold the same type of joy as Side A did. Don't get me wrong, I personally enjoyed songs like "Dubstep" with Scrufizzer, "Smokin' & Drinkin'", and even his lead single "Dip" ended up growing on me the more I listened to it, but when it comes to Side B, there's something about it that doesn't hold the same magic as Side A did. Then again, it is about more atypical stuff like drugs and sex, so it could be that I'm less into rappers talking about sex and drugs all that much. In any case, the negatives that Side B might have do not outweigh how Danny uses samples like "The Raven" from the Alan Parsons Project and "Apocalypse" by Morica Brown quite nicely or how Danny Brown's rapping (as well as practically everyone else on the album) is actually really good from beginning to end. As what I'd proclaim the anti-Hopsin (in a sense), he's shown that having a bad rap can be just as good as having a good rap in you.

Absolute favorite tracks: "Old (Side A)", "25 Bucks" (feat. Purity Ring), "Clean It Up", "Dope Song (Side B)", "Float On" (feat. Charli XCX), "ODB"; Least favorite track(s): Side A: "Torture"; Side B: "Way Up Here" (feat. Ab-Soul).

Death Grips' Government Plates

For an album that has made a pretty stark impact on the music area, none have been more surprising or genre-changing for an artist more than the trio known as the Death Grips. The experimental rap trio have gained prominent success online during this decade for providing very interesting ways of twisting around music and other noises to somehow make for enchanting albums that bring up surprisingly catchy songs that make even those that don't like rap (or can't really understand what MC Ride is saying most of the time) really get into it. Despite how the group didn't plan on releasing an album this year, they ended up releasing the album for free on their own website as a means of letting their audience know where they're at right now. However, while there were some songs that did feature a lot of MC Ride's prominent scream rapping, most of the songs more resembled electronic songs than songs that usually represent their nature. While I can't necessarily say that it should be your first experience towards the trio, I can say that you should give this album a listen with the downloadable links they give on their official website.

The album starts out with some of the usual stuff that one could expect from the Death Grips that still has a way of being enjoyed by listeners, especially with the song "Two Heavens". However, once the album plays "This Is Violence Now (Don't Get Me Wrong)", the album takes on the more unconventional aspect of taking a more experimental electronic sound towards some of its songs, with very little, if not no rapping appearing whatsoever from MC Ride. It might sound strange at first, but it also works out surprisingly nicely for some odd reason. It's like the album holds a representation of what goes on inside MC Ride's mind instead of actually having MC Ride talk about some of the more antagonistic stuff that he's usually known for with the group. Really, the album is more about letting instrumental members Zach Hill and especially Flatlander having their time to shine with their more electronic based songs, and they still have a sense of what the group is about without being reliant of MC Ride being around. If there was really a point where I could say there was an absolute weak point shown on this album, it's occurred on the second-to-last song called "Bootleg (Don't Need Your Help)", but with what the album working both with and without any rapping beforehand, as well as the final song in "Whatever I Want (Fuck Who's Watching)" making up for that other song, it helps make the theme of bringing on a disturbing intrigue work as an album that you want to keep listening to for no real reason. Regardless of whether you enjoy rap or electronic music more, there's actually something for everyone here despite it being probably the darkest album mentioned on this list.

Absolute favorite tracks: "Two Heavens", "This Is Violence Now (Don't Get Me Wrong)", "Feels Like A Wheel (Let Me Live My Life)", "Big House"; Least favorite track: Without a doubt, "Bootleg (Don't Need Your Help)".

Tyler The Creator's Wolf

When Tyler released "Yonkers" as a means to promote what was at the time his latest album Goblin, his name (and group OFWGKTA) took off almost instantly to where people got hyped up for what would be his next album. What some of the listeners of Tyler's might not have known is that when he would release Wolf, he'd take on a more improved style of what he had against Goblin back in 2011 by taking time with it as opposed to rushing it out for a 2012 release. While some fans may be able to find this album a bit polarizing due to some of the new directions he takes, others like me are able to get into idea of what Tyler's trying to do here. He has been growing tired of some of the types of music that were being used to define his career like "Yonkers," and as a result he wanted to go for a new jazz inspired tune that also takes his rapping style to new accords.

On Wolf, he does give out fair warning multiple times in the introduction that his album will not be like Bastard or Goblin, and considering the improved musical aspects shown off by Tyler, these warnings sound like stuff that you could be more happy about. While Tyler still gives out some songs that still show how much of a rebellious kid in his heart he truly has, he also gives out moments that are more personal and interesting to hear about when you actually get to listening to them. Songs like "Awkward" and "48" (both of which have uncredited help from Frank Ocean) show off sides involving situations that some people may end up going through, while songs like "IFHY" with Pharrell Williams and "Rusty" with fellow Odd Future members Domo Genesis and Earl Sweatshirt shows off that his anger still resonates over actually pretty reasonable stuff. While the story might not be at its strongest point (especially when one transition from the song "Trashwang" to "Treehome95" near the end of the album goes from *gunshot* "what the fuck was that?!" to "you want to hear a new song I wrote?" immediately afterwards), it makes up for that to me with having a special aspect of relating to me in aspects that no one else on this list could really do so. It's songs like "Awkward" and "Answer" that hold a special place in my heart, especially since I have the same first name as this artist does, and even though he's willing to take the piss out on outrageous fanboys like in "Colossus", I still feel like there's a place in my heart where I could say that he helped touch upon certain aspects of my life and made it feel like it's okay to admit such problems in the first place. For that, it's where I'm grateful for Tyler's latest album; it might not have the great, ruthless anger that "Bastard" or "Goblin" did, but when taking his maturity to heart (at least for a little bit), it's enough for me to warrant his album as a favorite of mine.

Absolute favorite tracks: "Answer" (feat. Syd tha Kyd), "48" (feat. Frank Ocean), "IFHY" (feat. Pharrell Williams), "Rusty" (feat. Domo Genesis and Earl Sweatshirt), "Lone"; Least favorite track: "Treehome95" (feat. Coco O. and Erykah Badu).

HerrVarden's List

2013 was certainly a weird year for me in terms of music. More and more I grew distant from the more "mainstream" crowd, but I didn't necessarily sink into the Bandcamp scene as well as I probably should have in the year. To be fair, I've mostly stuck around Breakbit, since it is my favorite place to go to for music. Even then, I suppose I don't truly represent what other Breakbit fans enjoy, so this list doesn't really represent a certain category of music enthuthiasts. No, rather, this list is simply what I enjoyed listening to the most from what I could get in the year. Without further ado, here's my picks in no particular order.

DR777's REAL

DR777 has constantly proved himself to be the most idiosyncratic among the most bizarre and experimental electronic music makers, and REAL is no exception. Here, he has managed to strengthen his sound, which is a weird combination of gritty hip-hop beats combined with relaxing sources. All the music sounds like they've been jolted with extra energy, as it progresses with a great sense of rhythm and style. You feel yourself moving to and fro' with each song, particularly the ones that have a calm opening. His choice of sources and the way he mangles with them is still as unique as ever, especially in songs like Real, Drop and Son. They just ooze with that feeling of being caught between having a good time and finding yourself stuck in a dream that's being controlled by someone else. This is probably the best album out there for people who want a YTP experience without those pesky visuals.

Vaervaf's Legshells

If there is one thing that I know for certain about Vaervaf is that he is nothing like I've ever seen before. His music certainly reflects that since it defies any sort of structure that one would expect from music. To say that Vaervaf is a Dadaist musician would both be accurate and completely crazy. For one, I'm not sure if one can really take his work so seriously to call it a subversion of standard music. And two, his music is not filled with hate against the medium. Rather, it is something that resembles a cult, lulling you into a sense of comfort, but also reaching itself under your skin. It is filled with love, but it's the kind of love that a victim gets for their captor once they've been with them for so long. The songs have an ability to possess you with it's violent glitch-like noises and it's soothing breaks that slowly slip into a cacophany of utter confusion. Also, the vocals just add to the cryptic nature that makes this such a fascinating listen. This album is simply a great example of the dissonance one feels when they see a work that makes no sense at all, yet manage to understand it with a great sense of depth.

Glue70's Points Of Interest

As I've said before, I owe a lot to glue70 when it comes to my tastes of music. What I failed to mention was that I also owe him a great deal of thanks for being something that I can look to when I feel as though I've lost faith in music. Points Of Interest shows me just how much passion can go into a single album, and just how much love a person can have for their craft. You can sense it in songs like Casin, Highway Broken and Quiet Mary Talking as they flow by with pinpoint accuracy. They simply sound like glue70 took his time to put all the pieces together properly. It's magnificent how he manages to combine older techniques with a newer flow, creating his own take on retro electronic music. The best part about this album is its simplicity. It's not trying to do anything extremely complicated, it is simply a well-made work that one can sit back and enjoy. With that, it succeeds because it doesn't distract itself and it strives to do its damn best to achieve its goal.

Eddache's Only Man

Now, this is an artist that I'm not really aware of...well not as much the previous three. I didn't really know what to think of this album considering Eddache's other works. On the one hand, it had promise since Bioshock is brimming with atmosphere. On the other, Eddache's mostly been associated with a more "upbeat" sort of attitude, especially considering what he works on. With that said, this album really does a great deal of justice to the game. He picks the right audio clips and the right times to play them, setting the mood properly. Masterpiece for example, shows the broken mind of Sander Cohen as well as his elaborate showmanship. The Bloody King is another great one, as it perfectly sums up the tour de force that is Andrew Ryan. The manipulation of the music is simply sublime, not only accentuating the emotions but also being able to create something of his own. Like glue70, it's a very basic concept, but the execution is done so well, it's a treat to hear.

chris†††'s frasierwave / Saint Pepsi's WORLD TOUR

Frasierwave and WORLD TOURare a great summary of how my musical tastes were in 2013. That is to say, this was the year that I caught onto this movement called "vaporwave". I don't know why I got to this so late, but I'm glad it's still trucking through. It was incredibly hard to pick one or the other, so I decided to pick both of them because they captured different sides of the movement really well. I got into frasierwave earlier in the year, and I absolutely enjoyed chris†††'s style of glitchy edits and how he created an unreal setting with sources using such simple moves. It felt like there was something beyond the twisting of the music, something hidden, but I was too overwhelmed with the thoughts that came up that I ended up frozen, simply taking the work as if it were some elaborate painting. It really did feel like I was sitting in a nice, well-furbished psychologist's office with schizophrenia as the radio crooned by, with the development of the sound mirroring the analysis of one's psyche. Where frasierwave was more artistic, WORLD TOUR was able to feel more...I guess "mainstream". That is to say that it was more fitting to have this play for a crowd. SAINT PEPSI is able to make the elements of vaporwave work really well in a dance setting. Sometimes it feels like it's a new type of disco, since he's able to make the song bounce with the same groove. Other times, the slow and dragged out feeling of the music makes it play out like a modern slow dance. Both of them are two wonderful albums from two wonderful artists, and I thank them for introducing me to vaporwave.

The Good and the Bad of Trading Card Games/CCGs

Chances are that at some point in your life, more than likely your childhood, you have either played a CCG/TCG (collectable/trading card game), or at least know someone who has. They used to be extremely popular when I was a kid, beginning with the Pokemon cards phase which was so popular and caused so many problems with missing cards and children annoyed over bad trades that they were banned in schools. Yu-Gi-Oh! Showed up on the scene not much afterward, and Magic: The Gathering always had a strong presence, though not as much with little kids. No doubt thousands and thousands of TCGs have been created since those days, including knock-offs and the occasional little gem. The point is, TCGs have been a big deal since their inception for multiple reasons, but for everything good that we get out of them, a bit of bad seems comes with it. I'm here to tell you why I think we play TCGs, what good they are as games, and everything bad about them (primarily the three above).

As children, we had tons of fun playing Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh!, what with the hype of the television shows which added a story to the games, the what was then considered awesome artwork, and it was something at that time that was still relatively new. Whilst many people have and still do collect these cards simply as keepsakes rather than to play with them, many are sucked into Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Magic every year for the game. The popularity of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! I believe have shrunk considerably from their old days, but they are still definitely hanging on. Many players aren't even children, and have been playing for many years. What makes a card game so alluring, then? I can't say for sure, and of course each case may be different, but these are a few other reasons why I think people play card games.

First and foremost, trading card games are an experience that can be enjoyed in real life. More and more these days, video games are becoming an online experience rather than an in-person experience. There isn't exactly anything wrong with that, and no doubt many individuals still come together with friends to play from time to time, but many of us simply look to random hordes of online players to satiate our appetites for gameplay. Now, TCGs definitely aren't immune to this, as card game simulators have been cropping up more and more frequently, but tournaments and game shop games for them are far more frequent than those of other card games. Digital TCGs and TCG video games have also become increasingly popular, but currently don't hold a candle to real life distribution. Getting to hold cards in your hands, play with them, and talk personally to your opponent or joke with your friends as you play is a strong experience, and a reason why card games in general may hold on to their physical quality even as we move further and further into the digital age.

Hearthstone, an online CCG.

Second, TCGs have a collection element to them that set them apart from many video games. We all have seen the power of tradable collectible items in the form of hats in Team Fortress 2, and how some people will go to absurd lengths to obtain them. Trading cards were and are much the same, holding something unique and somewhat difficult to obtain in your face and challenging you to get it to show off to your friends. It's made even stronger with the fact that these cards also hold a purpose besides flair like in TF2, meaning you will want to collect specific cards and in multiples for a number of different reasons. There's also so many of them, that it even if you try you will have to take quite some time to obtain all of them that you want, creating hours of time to spend on your hobby.

Third and foremost, TCGs provide a unique experience of both skill, luck, and customization. In a lot of games, you can build your character the way you want, but there is a hard limit on the options set before you, whereas in Magic they have managed to create enough cards that you can literally build a combination of decks more vast than the number of atoms in the universe. There are thousands of ways you can make a deck, tons of different options to fit your playstyle, and it's always expanding. However of course, with with deck building comes the requirement of skill, as of course all cards aren't going to work together in a deck you build. Many skilled players have to know how to build their deck to account for a number of options, and to make it so they can get their most powerful cards as easily as possible or know which cards can play off each other in the best way possible to lead them to the game's goal.

At the same time, card games typically have a strong factor of luck in that decks are shuffled and randomized, and you may not draw the cards you want to when you need to. This random element makes the game experience unique in every instance in that the options each time for a player are different, and they won't be able to make the same exact moves as they did before. This same randomization element as well can either increase of decrease the gap between player strengths. While this may seem like a bad thing, it can actually be very good. It wouldn't be fun to know that no matter how hard you tried you couldn't beat someone just because they know more about the game than you or they have a better deck. The fact that a fighting chance can be given to weaker players makes it more exciting for them, and forces players to concentrate well on their game even against opponents who are newer to the game than them. Surprise upsets are an amazing experience and something fun to watch for everyone as well.

Finally, something I had learned from another article is how we as humans like TCGs because they feed into our primal desire to be better ourselves. It's just plain human nature to look out for yourself first and to try and be on top, and card games give us this feeling of superiority in the form of cards. I have pulled a friend from a pack my friend didn't, and because of that I can win in a situation where they couldn't. My deck is better because I could find all the right cards for it, or because I have the more powerful cards they couldn't obtain. This can be seen as a reason why not to play a Trading Card Game as well, in that you have to try so hard and through random chance in many cases to get the cards you really want to be able to be on the same level as someone else or better. It also means, however, that you can be rewarded more for your dedication to the game than someone else, and that you can be more accomplished for the effort you put into it. Despite this, it brings me to my next point, about what makes TCGs bad.

Other than what was mentioned above, many of the older card games have a glaring problem in that they may at times create cards that are more powerful than others, and on purpose. You see, after all, it is a business, and one of the easy ways to entice players to pruchase their products are to give them rare cards that are inherently better than other cards. Cards so strong, you absolutely have to have them in your collection. They feel they have to push you on to buying the next expansion of cards by making the older ones look worse by comparison. As you might imagine, this is not only horrible for the purpose of tournament play, where a certain kind of deck will be so obviously better than others, but it spirals out of control quickly. This problem is not really so much an issue in Magic, as their cards are typically created with balance in mind, and players are limited to certain sets of cards for tournaments to begin with. However, in the Pokemon TCG and Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG, this runs rampant. Even with restrictions of which packs people can use cards from, Pokemon just keeps making their cards stronger and stronger in an attempt to entice people to buy the next pack. Not only that, but their best cards in a set are so obviously better that it makes me cringe. Pokemon attacks are the most important part of a card besides their ability, and most cards that aren't the shining few of a set will be so pitifully weak or costly that they are utterly worthless as anything but pack filler. That's at least 50% of each set.

If you want an example of what I mean, all you need to do is look at the HP of their cards and how much damage they do, going from an average of 70HP with a max of 120 and dealing 30 damage with an attack, all the way up to the current standard 160HP and 80+ damage per attack. The below video explains the changes much more in-depth, if you're willing to sit through the latter half.

I also have a lot of problems with the Pokemon TCG mechanically since it makes no sense story-wise as a game. You're catching Pokemon and riding bicycles during a Pokemon battle, and for some reason only when your Garbodor is wearing a Giant Cape it will release a toxin that negates Pokemon abilities somehow. I could go on and on about my problems with just this game, but I'll spare you.

As for the game Yu-Gi-Oh!, it has this same type of problem, but even worse because they keep all of their old cards in rotation, using only a banlist to keep cards relatively in check. However, the banlist has been proven more and more over time to do little to keep the game from becoming overwhelmed by powerful cards, with new cards having to be banned every set and old cards being considered weak enough by today's standards to come back into play. Dark Hole, a card that can destroy all monsters on the field simply by activating it, was banned for such a long time, but was unbanned some time back and it had no effect on the game due to how horrible of a state it was already in.

A progression of the power creep.

I used to be a major fan of the game, having collected over two thousand cards and played for plenty of years, but I recently had to quit at the realization of how horrible they had let the game get. They purposely give their players cards that are bad for the game just to make money, most evident when they released Sixth Sense unbanned, a card previously Japanese exclusive that had been banned there for many years. It's a card that has no real downside due to the way the game is currently played, and with a chance to gain so much advantage that in many cases you outright win.

Even Magic: The Gathering is not entirely free of the vice of card game troubles, as with any kind of system such as a card game where there are unique effects and such that a certain card or cards will rise above the others in power unquestionably by accident. These can cause obvious shifts in what is good for players to play and they will gravitate toward it, making play less unique There certainly are ways to handle cards that get too out of control in the form of banlists and being rotated out, but the damage will be done and continue to be done by other cards regardless. It's something that really can't be avoided, and even though it plagues games other than just card games I felt that it should be mentioned.

Of course as well, there is the problem that I mentioned earlier with obtaining cards for your decks. As we all know, cards in TCGs are typically put in booster packs which contain a random assortment of cards in them. You never quite know what you're going to get unless you buy a theme deck, which usually aren't all that good on their own (especially so in the case of Pokemon I've noticed). Because of this, is can be frustratingly difficult to build a deck that you want, let alone a deck that follows a theme well enough to be considered one that wins. It takes a lot of money, even if you just straight up buy the cards from online (which can sometimes be worth over 100 dollars if they're new and extremely popular). A long time ago, cards could even become an investment, but save for a choice few cards in the first set in a TCG, cards become worthless very quickly. Trading cards in general no longer hold their value, and it's even printed on some packs that their value is not guaranteed. So unless you were lucky enough to get and save in mint condition First Edition Base Set Charizard, don't expect to make much money back once you fall out of playing the game.

This final note is a bit weaker than the others, but it's one of those things that most everyone who is against card games talk about, and that's the fact that many of them seem to be marketing toward or taking advantage of the popularity of something else. I don't entirely agree with this one in all cases, but it seems like this is becoming more and more influential to the process, save for those entirely independent. We get bombarded constantly with TCGs we don't know what to think of, many of them no doubt poorly designed or thought out very little, which is more than a bit annoying.This isn't to say that the card games themselves are necessarily bad, either. Chaotix was at least somewhat original despite being directly tied to a cartoon show and based in a world of virtual reality.

In closing, I would like to say just a few more things. First and foremost, I am still a giant fan of TCGs despite my realization of some of their problems and having quit playing my long-time passion of Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Games have seemingly gotten back a bit into the competitive spirit in that they are improving their cards to make more sense to players, expanding and reaching out more to their communities, rectifying some of their past mistakes (e.g. Pokemon no longer lets you attack and win before your opponent gets their first turn), and there seems to be a great deal of innovation happening. There are more ways than ever to enjoy trading card games than ever. Even if you don't like the idea of TCGs where you have to buy random packs of cards, there's alternate kinds of card games that don't rely on the collector model and instead sell you the whole set right out, and many card games nowadays are catering to more than just children, considering how large their older demographics are. With that in mind, despite what my parents said when I was younger, I'm probably not going to be forgotting about TCGs for many years to come!

The Stanley Parable poses a bit of a challenge for reviewing. It appears simple on the surface, its entertainment stemming from exploration and humorous writing. Beyond this surface, however, lays a plethora of extraordinary perspectives for the game's absurdity. Due to this, it can be difficult to review the game thoroughly without viewing it from each respective mindset. From what I've gathered, there are three different degrees of analysis behind the game: the quality of its narrative, its ability at symbolism, and its quality of being a game. This article will review each aspect.

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Before that, however, it would be fair to overview the primary plot and concept of the game. In The Stanley Parable, you play as Stanley, a compliant young man working in your everyday business complex. His job is to quite literally constantly press buttons on a keyboard as he's instructed off a monitor screen. Despite the seemingly tedious work this job requires, Stanley loves every minute of it. One day, however, no instructions appear for him on the monitor. Confused, he walks out of his cubicle and explores the oddly empty facility around him, attempting to find any answer to the odd disappearance.

As you play the game, a narrator's sarcastic voice (voiced by Kevan Brighting's talented and trademark voice work) in the background depicts your supposed actions within the story (without occasional mockery, of course). Unknown to him, though, you can choose to completely disobey him. As you do so, the story branches off into dozens of different paths, all depending on the actions you (don't) take. It's a very sheer approach to dynamic story.

Let's take it that you follow his rules throughout the story. As Stanley makes his way through the building, he finds a keypad in his boss's office, which reveals a secret passageway leading to an underground facility. In it is a massive room filled with computers used to control the minds of hundreds of workers, all forced to enjoy their monotonous work. Seeing this, Stanley develops a sense of skepticism towards what it means to work for his job. He then turns off the mind control facility and steps into the open wilderness, free from his job, free from being controlled, a new independent man.

Of course, it doesn't have to end this way. Even the Narrator blatantly implies this in the almost comically dubbed "Freedom Ending", saying that Stanley didn't care about knowledge or why his coworkers truly left. For example, what if you wanted to turn the mind control machine on? What if you downright disobeyed the Narrator and just stumbled around the office, trying to make your way around? Thus, you have the choice to learn more, to go against the Narrator's will and story. And yet, as you do, your knowledge becomes ever so less. The many different endings in the game are much less straightforward than the supposedly canon one. They're wrapped in a cloth of mystery and confusion, not to mention the large quantity of them. They all provide a different perspective of Stanley's condition, each like a cloudy window, never truly revealing what's through it.



To some, The Stanley Parable is a simple game. Its goal is to confuse and entertain the player through its appreciatively witty and dry dialogue and ability to parody itself in a unique self referential way. A different way of looking at the game's setting, however, is rather darker. Beyond the Narrator's silly and sarcastic depreciation of the player, The Stanley Parable is a genuinely terrifying game. Part of this horror comes from the unusual stillness of Stanley's office. Why exactly did your co workers suddenly leave? This is especially eerie considering that elements within the office are sometimes random and can change subtly. For example, sometimes, when you begin the game, the room will be filled with blank sheets of paper. Some people even report seeing another person in the office. These random elements do a fantastic job at adding uneasiness to Stanley's situation.

Many endings of the game are utterly creepy. One that comes to mind can be accessed at the beginning of the game. If you simply refuse to leave your starting room and close the door, the narrator will begin to explain how Stanley rejected helping himself in time of need, and instead waited for help to come. Quoting the Narrator: "Soon, very soon now, this will end. He will be spoken to. He will be told what to do. Now it's a little bit closer. Now it's even closer! Here it comes-"

And then the game cuts to black. Such seems to be a rather popular theme throughout The Stanley Parable's endings. It could be debated on whether it resembles something, perhaps an unknown entity controlling the reigns of the game, but either way, it's a truly effective way to stir mystery to both Stanley and the Narrator's potential demise.

Another eerie element of the game is one that seems quite standard. As you complete an ending, the game reloads and starts from the beginning. Of course, this is essential to the game's accessibility, as it would be irritating having to restart the game to try out some of the other endings. However, looking at it from a narrative/in-universe perspective proves a more sinister possibility. No matter how many times you “beat” the game, it never ends. It's an interminable abyss that you have no control over.

The game further delves into this mentality. Between each reset, the following loading screen displays:



As such, The Stanley Parable is one bout of cruel irony; the player has limitless control over the outcome of the story, yet in the end, the concept of control is but a mere illusion, a trick puppeteered by the game itself. This horror amplifies even further as it's implied throughout the game that the Narrator himself has little control over the game. At one point in the game, he even sobs in fear, crying “is this it? It's going to restart any moment, isn't i-” before being sharply cut off by the ominous loading screen. This indicates that a force beyond even the Narrator is in play. To many, the mystery behind this mechanic drives interest in the game.

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The second perspective of The Stanley Parable is its metaphoric quality. It's quite difficult to play the game without noticing it attempting to obtain such, and its ability at doing so is hit or miss. The first incident of symbolism is the classic "workers are imprisoned" argument in the main plotline, which is glaringly generic and obvious. However, the game makes a decent effort at parodying itself; it's even implied that one of the main motivations for disobeying the Narrator's actions is because of such.

Another example is its commentary on the gaming industry, but its message is awfully ambiguous. It makes several jabs at video games and the element of progression, but they're very aimless, not to mention that the game clearly suffers from such faults itself.

However, it could be interpreted that the game is one massive satire of itself. Throughout the game, the Narrator mocks the choices you make and constantly praises his own plotline, a possible clue for arrogant video game developers. It even has a special ending in which you are forced to play a tedious game for four hours straight, in which the Narrator explains is "a very meaningful game - all about the desperation and tedium of endlessly confronting the demands of family life." If you have the utterly immense fortitude to complete it, you encounter "divine art" itself, quite ludicrously implying that art is a static and definite "entity". In this view, it's fairly obvious that the game is satire in some way or another.

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Finally, we come to the last and perhaps the most controversial aspect of The Stanley Parable: its ability at being a game. Sadly, there are very few actual gameplay elements in it other than walking around and listening to the Narrator poke fun at you. Some may disagree and say that gameplay can be found as much as entertainment from a good book can be appreciated. Its atmospheric "world" and narrative provides the fun the player desires.

Yet with this mindset, it can also be said that The Stanley Parable is little more than a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book in the form of a game. If interaction with the game consists solely of choosing which path to take, what point is there to spend money on it than, say, watch a let's play of it on YouTube? While it does have the ability to immerse me in an entertaining environment, it's little more than a toy or prototype. Because of this alone, despite the wonderfully mysterious impression the game left me, it's very challenging to recommend purchasing The Stanley Parable and, thus, comes more to a decision on whether or not you wish to support the developer.

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Despite this, however, The Stanley Parable did not fail to entertain me. It's a mystery for the player to find out, one that's large in scope and sure to leave an impression. It's one of those games that you play and lay in bed thinking about it, trying to solve its crypticness. While it may not be the best "game" in the world, it does its job as a provocative and intriguing piece of work. I highly recommend at least watching a playthrough of it.
The Stanley Parable gets a 8.0/10.

You can purchase The Stanley Parable here.

HerrVarden's Pick: The Wolf of Wall Street





I haven't seen many films, so if I call this the best movie of 2013, I'm probably undermining a lot of great work that came out this year like Gravity and 12 Years A Slave. The only other film I recall seeing that came out in 2013 was The World's End, and while I liked it, The Wolf Of Wall Street did something to me that immediately made me realize it was the better pick. This film shook me. It got into my head and it struck a cord with me. It made me want to ask my sister how she felt about it and elaborate on why she didn't like it. Even though I found myself understanding her view and agreeing with it, even though I felt that if I liked this movie, I would be a hypocrite for denouncing other films that have handled with similar matters and possibly stirring the same emotions, this was still my top favorite. While I can't consider it the absolute best of the year and neither can I even say that it's the best thing Martin Scorsese has done, it still is a great film in its own right. It certainly is another one of those "white collar crime" films which starts and ends the ways you expect it to, but what really takes it to a level that is beyond those films is the racy content. If you think the trailers were raunchy, you haven't even gotten a tenth of the kind of acts that occur in this movie.

The debauchery in this film is beyond most films that involve a party-hungry rich prick, taking it to a level that could very well desensitize an innocent mind. This (seemingly) has it's down-side since it will make people think it's simple sensational tripe. "Oh look at these people, making the wild rich life so exciting and racy. How dare they think that us middle-class folk can't have the same amount of fun". Hell, I even thought of that. The film tricks you into forgetting the necessary cliche for a while. As you still watch it, thinking that all The Wolf Of Wall Street is doing is making you feel bad about not being rich, all the sordid fun that occurs starts to become too much. The glamour is lost...instead what resonates is this feeling of disgust. You aren't disgusted by the act of having a crazy party, you're disgusted by the act of having a crazy party every day. "White collar crime" films often drive this point of how greed can mess with a man, but The Wolf Of Wall Street takes this point and fills it with as many hookers and drugs it can fit on the screen. The overload of such content does cause cracks in the film and it certainly highlights the simplicity of the characters, but the comedy that comes out of the situations and just how hard this movie hits you with its twisted nature does its best to patch them up. If you don't like this film because it's too much sex and drugs, I won't hold it against you. If you think there are much better movies that handle similar ideas in this film, I'm sure I could think of a few that do. But this film, at the very least, is going to throw your mind into places it didn't think it would end up.


Malk's Pick: Elysium






Neill Blomkamp has a lot of talent. Surprisingly, I couldn't find myself sticking to District 9 as a film. I adored the message - people should cooperate with one another; apartheid is stupid and you should feel ashamed for supporting it - but the way it was structured just didn't feel genuine to me. Yeah, it was meant to be in the style of a guerrilla newscast whose main reporter suddenly becomes an alien, but I didn't get it. I couldn't get it - it lacked any of the urgency of memorable message films. Besides, the film is more of a "what if apartheid was never eradicated" alternate universe thing. The story could've been great, but eh, I've seen better. This is why I latched onto Neill's critically-mixed second film, Elysium. Yes, there are many problems - the very obvious message that is characteristic of all Neill Blomkamp films; the one-dimensionality of some of the characters (e.g. the leader of the rebels, Kruger, the residents of Elysium); the shaky-cam - but for its problems, its strengths outweigh its weaknesses. The acting is absolutely incredible for a under-promoted genre film, the message is something I've been wanting to see in modern films for a while, and, so far, it's one of the few films that I was so enthusiastic about at the beginning that I've managed to still like. It's an excellent genre film and an even better message film that's not afraid to give into audience thrills in fear that it'll lose its impact.

One of the strongest points about Elysium is how it has heart. District 9 didn't feel like it had heart - it felt like the necessary lengthening of a short film about alien apartheid coupled with trying to wow producer Peter Jackson (a fat New Zealander who made some films concerning the destruction of a really evil piece of jewelry). With the weak acting in it as well, I just couldn't find myself attached to District 9 as much as some other people on here. As for Elysium, I felt like I was on the opposing side when I wrote my review of this back in August - nobody wanted to promote a film that's so obviously inferior to Aliens Fighting Apartheid: The Social Message Film. However, Elysium has earnestness. It has the bravado to say "hey, guys, we have too much of a wealth disparity." It also has the guts to say, "hey, guys, rich people can fucking talk about inequality too. Whoever put in the rule that only poor people and the disadvantaged could talk about such a thing has denigrated society." Every day, I see inequality everywhere - some of the extreme level found in Elysium, but some that people have sort of brushed away. Women being viewed as objects (by both Eastern and Western society), transgendered people being shunned because "they're confused," and people being pushed aside in general - a lot of those issues resonate within the film. It's about time a mainstream big-budget Hollywood film talked about something like inequality not in an Oscar bait-type of a way, but in a way that entertains and motivates the audience. And, to me, that's why Elysium is my pick for my favorite film of 2013.

Chuck's Choice: Inside Llewyn Davis



I've already emphasized that the Coen Brothers are good at character study. This year they found their latest triumph with Inside Llewyn Davis. The titular character is a folk artist, an uncompromising intellectual who hopes to find success based purely on the value of what he is doing: singing old songs. Unconcerned with image, Llewyn is hardly marketable material, his mop-top haircut and permanently sleepless expression indicating his lack of regard for the public's opinion. This isn't all Llewyn lacks; he has very little regard for the people who make up the folk scene of the early 1960s (including his friends, family, and lovers), and even for himself. Llewyn is a vagabond, a belligerent spirit who refuses to be tied to anything or anyone, and spends his days bouncing from couch to couch and exhausting the list of people who can tolerate him. The only other creature he is able to truly bond with over the course of the story is a cat (named Ulysses, in the Coens' greek tradition), and though the two beings share a deep sort of yearning to roam the world and be free, they eventually go their separate ways. As in A Serious Man, everything seems to go wrong for the main character, often hilariously so (his banter with scornful girlfriend Carey Mulligan is especially entertaining), but also sometimes with an air of foreboding inevitability. Dark and snowy weather besets Llewyn as he tries to make his to way to Chicago to audition for tenure at a prestigious club, while others surrounding him (like John Goodman, a drugged-up jazz impresario) seem to send up yellow flags, cautioning Llewyn not to get sucked into a life of hate. The final scene is open-ended, so whether Llewyn chooses to "fade away," as Buddy Holly put it, or move on is up for interpretation. I believe Llewyn's story is something of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but the call is yours.

The film's second attraction is its scenery, its detailed portrayal of 1960s New York. My dad, who lived in the village from 65 to 68, says they nailed the look, with old Chevys parked on the streets, bobs on the heads of passing women, and intimacy oozing from the dimly-lit music venues. It certainly does feel like stepping back in time - you half expect Audrey Hepburn to to walk down the street humming "Moon River." The set at Llewyn's manager's office screams "tacky, mid-20th-century fogey" with papers stacked everywhere, dust floating around, and boxes and boxes of unsold vinyl albums sitting around like junk. The Capital Records building is the cleanest place around, and with all its clunky machinery it serves as a haven for the hungry folk singers, who inhabit empty-looking apartments in the village. Each cramped room appears hollow, perhaps reflecting the dissatisfaction of artists who struggle to be recognized. This world Llewyn lives in is certainly far from cheery, but it is definitely convincing with its attention to detail. True, the scenery doesn't always enhance or explain the character, and there may be something to the argument that the film never gets "inside" Llewyn and only shows him as part of this harsh, beatnik-influenced world, but that doesn't make the film any less riveting. Llewyn's motivations aren't explained; they have to be pieced together, for he is a product of a particular environment that only existed for a few years. The brothers have captured that environment wonderfully and preserved it with Llewyn, a figure who unlike Dylan wasn't willing to admit that the times were a-changing.


Tofucakecan’s Pick: Gravity



It’s rare these days that Hollywood produces anything that hasn’t been done before. In this era of sequels, prequels, remakes, and adaptations, original ideas for movies are few and far between. Very often, the landscape rewards movies that rely on familiar formulas or that can be turned into huge franchises (Fast and the Furious anyone?), and then creativity and innovation take a back seat to profitability. So when a movie like Gravity comes along it makes the wait for such a good movie worth the while, and the fact that it actually got the recognition it deserves is just icing on the cake.

Gravity certainly isn’t the first “space” movie ever made, but I struggle to recall any movie (of any genre) in recent memory that made as big an impression on me as this one did. I dare go so far as to say Gravity is actually an “art” film, because watching it is akin to seeing the works of Picasso or Da Vinci in a museum. It is art. The film draws you in immediately with its “I-can’t-believe-it’s-CGI” special effects and its eerie sense of desperation. Often you’re seeing and hearing what the characters would which gives the viewer a sense of realism. The opening shot of the film was somewhere around ten minutes I’d say, and its one of my favorites; a camera drifts through space as it might in a zero gravity situation, sometimes moving around characters or even going into their suit/helmet to show their perspective. It’s reminiscent of camera work seen in the Gaspar Noé’s films Irreversible & Enter the Void, and it reassures you that you’re watching something really special.

What is even more impressive than the special effects though is how many different things Gravity accomplishes in terms of storytelling. The majority of the scenes center around just two actors (Clooney and Bullock), which can certainly be a problem for pacing and keeping the story interesting. Never fear, when Murphy's law strikes in space, there are plenty of scenes that will keep you on the edge of your seat. And then there’s the daunting task of trying to make the film true to life. One aspect of the outer space setting is that there’s no sound (in space), so during some of the film’s tensest scenes (like when flying debris rips apart the space shuttle), the only sounds you hear are the actors speaking and the musical score. It's a risk not to have sound effects in a big budget space epic, but I personally feel that the silence makes things that much scarier. Getting to hear the fear in the characters’ voices only added to my own.

Lastly, I couldn’t write about Gravity without bringing up the 3D aspect. I had the pleasure of seeing it in 3D, and I was seriously glad I got the opportunity when I found out that 3D TV’s are basically going the way of the buffalo. Realistically I probably never would have bought a 3D TV to begin with, but man, if there was ever a movie meant to be watched in 3D, it’s Gravity. Rather than using the technology as a parlor trick (like “Saw VII” did), Gravity truly embraced it and used it to make the film all the more immersive. It seems a shame that in twenty years, seeing this masterpiece in all its three dimensional glory might only be possible when a random theater happens to do a “retro” screening of it.

Films like this make me hold out the hope that Hollywood still has a few good ideas left, and when someone puts their mind to it, they can make a truly amazing film that’s a treat for your eyes, ears, and your mind. Gravity is the new yard stick by which all other sci-fi films will be judged.


Nozdordomu's Pick: American Hustle



I love American Hustle. I love the hair. I love the Aviator sunglasses. I love the fast camera zoom-ins. I love the opening card: "Some of this actually happened." I love Amy Adams with a British accent. I love Bradley Cooper wearing pink curlers to keep his hair straight. I love Cooper flipping Christian Bale's carefully composed combover just to piss him off. I love Jennifer Lawrence's character, even though I should hate her. I love the scene where she puts metal in the microwave, or dances around the house to "Live and Let Die," or kisses Adams, or does anything, really. I love that small part where Bale plays Adam's butt like a pair of bongos. I love Robert De Niro in his small (and uncredited!) role. I love the music; it's been too damn long since we heard "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart," and "Dirty Work" (oh yes) in a film. I love the dialogue, especially lines like "she was the Picasso of passive-agressive karate" and "you broke the science oven!" (You can tell who gets the best ones.) I love that one conversation about nail polish. I love Bale's narration, and that he doesn't narrate too often. I love Louis C.K. and the story about ice fishing in Michigan. I love Cooper repeatedly missing the story's point. I love Cooper beating the snot out of C.K. and getting away with it for some ridiculous reason which I can't tell you. I love how the movie stays really funny even in dramatic moments; it's the little details that really count. I love how much of the movie actually did happen. I love the ways in which Adams, Bale, and Cooper (ABC!) keep double-crossing and manipulating one another, even though they're supposed to be working together. I hate that I keep referring to the characters by the actors' names, because they're all perfect in their roles, Bale and Adams especially. I love that big twist at the end, and the nice little bit of foreshadowing before it. (I didn't see it coming at all.) I love the use of Duke Ellington. I even love the title. I love that David O. Russell has been on this amazing streak as of late, and I love that the Oscars love him too, hopefully enough to maybe, just maybe give him the Best Director award this year. That might be hoping too much, but why not? This movie makes me want to believe anything, ironic considering that's what the characters do. Is this movie just conning me into enjoying it, giving me everything I love about movies so I don't notice the flaws? Maybe, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love American Hustle, and I might even call it the best job of the year.

To be honest here, between the holiday season and the want of having more Writing Staff members, we haven't had much time to check out some of the YouTube Poops that were released during these last two months, let alone find out what our favorite YouTube Poops were throughout last year. (Personally, my favorite last year was "Orel Puppington Sings The No Children Song That Ends The Church" by Avojaifnot, but that's beside the point). As a result, we ended up having not too many selections throughout the time in the process. With that said, don't let that deter you since we decided to make up for it with extra quality over the limited quantity at hand. If you like that, we can try and do that a bit more often for the next Recommended YouTube Poops article in question. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show...
 
Crazy Luigi's Pick: "The Town With No Collab" hosted by KingHarky/MegaHarkyX (December 2013)



One thing that you may have noticed during this past year is that we have started to accept the idea of hosting collaborative YouTube Poops as a means to recommend you to them. While some may think that this is an inheritance of weak-mindedness and running out of ideas, some can also think this is a means of breaking down barriers as a means to open up further means of enjoyment towards this type of genre. To me, this is where I feel like joining in with Tofucakecan and HerrVarden in breaking down such barriers with a nice and reasonable source, and this helps break down that barrier for good at the end of the year of 2013. Each person involved with this collaboration on such an insane, yet somewhat obscure source really held their own marks on what makes this YouTube Poop collab successful more than anyone else. Not only that, but many of the jokes actually appear to hit their mark successfully more often than not, starting with the introduction best simplifying what "The Town With No Name" is like.

Beginning with the GreatBritishTurd, there is a clear understanding that the ideas this video gives out can reach ridiculous height of ingenuity. However, each one of the different YouTube Poopers take on the source in their own unique manners. For example, the aforementioned GreatBritishTurd likes making the source feel like a strange acid trip with some good comedy in the mix (such as the conversation about Power Rangers and the guy saying his name's not "No Name"), while ProfessorCheeseBall makes the source feel more hectic than what the game's actually like. He gives the source many different types of changes that make the video stand out, such as rapid spider killing, the addition of Tien, and the "Chase The Ace" guy making the game he made up as insanely difficult as possible, which makes it one of the favorites here. The collaborator after him, while sadly is the weakest of the group, still has some fine stuff that make him stand out. Thankfully, after that guy's done with, AngrySpongeBobGuy helps pick the pace back up with how he sentence mixes the tutorial screen, some nice video game quips, and even a racist joke that surprisingly works here. Still, if I had to pick a collaborator that did the best work of the bunch shown here, I'd say that JammeKamme did the best work under a very close margin.

After his quick introduction piece, we get a video that has a special little mix of stuff that somehow has everything feeling really right with it. The jokes work and don't go on for too long, the ear-raping and eye-raping sections work, and even the additional music and video quips shown from stuff like the Death Grips' "Artificial Death In The West", Daft Punk, Pharrell Williams, and Nile Rodgers' "Lose Yourself To Dance"; Tyler The Creator's "Yonkers", and Chowder really help add onto the video instead of detract from it. With that video done, SpaghettiBicycle takes the source into a more unsettling feeling with a mix of showing off how the guy wanting a drink is ridiculous in the process. MidnightMidna then gives off a video that more represents the older semblance of what past YouTube Poops were like with jokes that still work in their own accord, but hold more focus on external sources in the process. Still, with his video done, NESbro gives off what might be the second-weakest video of the bunch with a YTPMV of a song from the game mixed in with only two other jokes that actually do work in their own contexts. Finally, the man of the hour, the host of the show gives off more of a closer flash YouTube Poop style that also has an interesting sense that works in its own way.

To sum things up, every video gives off a sense of wonderment that really adds onto itself the further along it goes on. The senses that everybody gives off makes it known that they more likely gave off more effort on what they were doing than anyone that worked on "The Town With No Name" gave off with their own game. An interesting mix of audio and visual jokes combined with a mixture of what other stuff some of the other videos in this give off really make it stand out as a video that people should watch on their own accord. The video doesn't really drag on for too long despite it being 11 minutes long and the ideas that each user came up with throughout the video really do make you feel interested in what they all were thinking of at the time. Still, one thing that we as an audience should not lose sight on is how the source makes it all work out in the first place, and for that, I thank the source for making itself as strange as possible in the first place!

Tofucakecan's Pick: “Legend of The Dragging Balls” by Jallerbo (December 2013)



My pick for this month comes from a fellow Texan by the name of Jallerbo, and what a poop it is! Jallerbo also happened to host the “Ambient Collab” which I wrote about a few months ago. At the risk of sounding clichéd, I can’t remember the last time a poop made me laugh as hard as this one did.

To begin, you’d be hard pressed to ask for a better source than the English dub of “Dragon Ball”. It’s full of all the silly voices and awkward expressions you’d expect from Funimation. Jallerbo opens with some witty and memorable sentence mixing, and he keeps what could only be described as a “frantic” pace that’s brimming with sharp comedic timing. Also worth mentioning are the clever masking jokes and running gags throughout which have a certain “Chemistry Guy-ness” about them, and at 1:54 you’ll find (I can’t believe I’m saying this) a pretty damn funny “lotsa spaghetti” joke which I don’t dare spoil here.

If I were judging this poop based solely on the first three minutes and thirty seconds, it would still be my pick for this month. It has enough going for it that you'll never feel like it's lagging for material, but the last thirty seconds are just icing on the cake. I could sit here and try to describe the hilarity he’s created in the last section, but I seriously doubt I could do it justice. I will say this though, the last section shows his disparity for the world’s largest retail chain, and he deserves a freakin’ medal for making me laugh as hard as I did. Do yourself a favor and watch this. For me it was one of the most memorable poops of the whole year.

Crazy Luigi's Pick: "200- Ash Learns X-actly Y He Needs The Patch" by Combuskenisawesome



With a new Pokemon video game series coming out, there also signifies a new anime series that's based off of the same aspects from the video games. In these anime series', they always bring up the awkward troubles that the "10 year old boy" Ash Ketchum face throughout each series, which includes having the "future Pokemon master" only catching a few different Pokemon per series, encountering legendary Pokemon near the end almost every single time, and basically ending with no Pokemon championship to show off his efforts of defeating the 8 Gym Masters that he'd eventually face off against. By looking through this, you'd think that it'd make the initial series that started this whole thing off in the first place become old and stale... and you're right! However, with such a predictable format trying to finds ways to become more "fresh" under old and new viewers' eyes alike, so comes the possibilities that any future YouTube Poops might create to make something awesome occur in the process. As such, this YouTube Poop by Combuskenisawesome continues the nice tradition that he had started out with first Diamond & Pearl and then Black & White.

From the moment the video dedicated itself to freedom, you just know that you'll be in for a joyous treat with a Hell of a ride to boot, and what better way to show that these feelings are right by having Ash and Pikachu making their grandiose entrance to the new region that the most recent games have us under? The reason why I didn't mention the name of the region here is because it kind of spoils how great some of the running jokes in this video are. I mean, between Ash stepping down these steps to finally be in the *you know...* region and his excitement at checking out "another new Pokemon," you'd think that there might be a point where you'd get tired of these jokes, but the way this video spreads it all out shows how jokes like this should be properly handled! Not only that, but there are segments that involve other media like SpongeBob SquarePants, Digimon, the AVGN, and even the music video of Train's "100 Ways To Say Goodbye" that, at least for the most part, actually work quite well within the context shown in the video. As for what the video shows us, there's a whole lot of different aspects of working with his video that truly make it shine through.

In this video, Combuskenisawesome really up'd the ante with his effects by placing what practically feels like the utmost right effect(s) when necessary. There are many times where an effect or particular clip of his video doesn't become too overbearing (aside from one scene, but even then it has a way of making that work anyways), such as how Ash's newest male partner Clement tries to save Ash and instead sends him off to Digimon's introduction theme. Scenes that involve more eye piercing effects, on the other hand, used ear-raping when it felt like it was needed and just used the eye-raping effects when using just that was more required. Meanwhile, the simplistic effects like added sound effects, sentence mixing, and overlapping pictures used help flesh out more of a fun aspect that this video shows to us. Even the jokes where you might not get them if you don't know much about Pokemon (such as the near-end joke that relates to the title) have a funny little method to them that make it work out in the end. Really, I don't know what else I should say here other than check this video out if you haven't done so already! You certainly won't regret it.
 
Now that we've got our selections out of the way, we'd like to know what your favorite YouTube Poop from last year was. In fact, you could also tell us what your favorite YouTube Poop throughout the last two months were. Either way, we'd love to hear your opinion on the subject matter at hand.

Today, on behalf of the Writing Staff I'll be taking a moment to pay quick tribute to a man who has been ingrained within this small community since practically from the very beginning. His role on a show involving a pair of plumber brothers, along with his costar, have been the source of many laughs on the forum and have quite possibly gained a resurgence in notoriety that would be nonexistent otherwise. I am of course talking about Canadian-born actor Jack Westelman, or better known by his professional name, Danny Wells, who unfortuanely passed away on November 28, 2013.

Let me start off by being completely honest; while I intend for this article to be as much of a tribute to the man as possible, I don't want to pretend as if I was completely familiar with Danny's work. The vast majority of the material that I've seen him in, along with the way I was introduced to him, was through his role as Luigi on The Super Mario Bros Super Show. I've been made aware of some other roles he's had due to the recent collaboration held in Danny's honor using them as a source; for example, he apparently played a recurring character on the sitcom The Jeffersons, and has provided his voice in a large variety of animated shows. Even though I'm not entirely acquainted with everything he's been involved with, I still think he holds a lot of importance within our community as one of the main centerpieces of Youtube Poop.

His role as Luigi in Super Show spanned throughout both the live-action portion and the cartoon version. For the most part, the cartoon is hardly noteworthy in any fashion, with episode quality ranging from "surprisingly acceptable" to "bafflingly bland and terrible". However, both Danny and Lou Albano hardly had anything to do with this, most likely due to them being at the mercy of the restrictive writing and animation. I can say this with confidence because in complete contrast the live-action parts were legitimately entertaining. Yes, they were cheesy, but anyone who thinks that they were not aware of this and took advantage of that to its fullest potential probably never paid much attention to this part of the show. It's hard to really pinpoint what exactly it was that made the live-action portion of the show far and beyond the animated portion in quality. It may be the unnecessarily high use of stock cartoon and Mario sound effects. It may be "celebrity guest stars" that would randomly appear in every episode, ranging between "Dracula" and Magic Johnson. Or it may be a combination of all of those things.

One of Danny's breakout performances in the show, involving Luigi and shaving his "favorite mug" (huHUH)

However, it goes without saying that none of these aspects would matter if it weren't for the fact that Lou and Danny had such wonderful chemistry as Mario and Luigi. There have been many commonly-used YTP sources that have been lauded over the years for how infamously bad they were, but in this case their roles as live-action Mario and Luigi were nothing short of hysterical. They always managed to work off of each other to such a charming extent, with Mario usually being the goofier one and Luigi being more of the straightman. Both have their moments though, and the show wouldn't be the same if one was without the other. Many notable people in our community have given out nothing but praise to this portion of the show for these reasons; SuperYoshi in particular called it one of the very few "perfect sources" in the sense that it's near impossible to make a video using it as a source and managing to not make it funny in some way. That's the amount of comedic brilliance that both of these men have managed to bestow upon us.

Sadly, in 2009, part of that era came to an end when Lou Albano succumbed to a heart attack and passed away. Nearly everyone in our community was saddened by this, but at the same time, we all seemed to share the idea that, "It's not all bad. After all, we still have Danny Wells." And nearly four years afterwards, we were treated to the same kind of unfortunate news when word got out that Danny was no longer with us. Not only was it unfortunate because the man was so talented, but it was also saddening because it essentially put an end to an era of one of the site's most utilized and appreciated video sources of all time. The final half of the dynamic duo who made what would otherwise be yet another lame video game cartoon into something that was legitimately fun to watch has moved on from this world. It's a fact that anyone who is well-acquainted enough into our community will probably think about any time they feel like using SMBSS as a source for their videos in the future.

With that said, he will be far from forgotten. Danny Wells may be gone, but the amount of energy and spirit that he put into his work will live on through us as long as making wacky remix videos remains a thing. He also aged into his 70s, so thankfully he managed to live a full life. Many users on here also joined together to make a collab in his honor as soon as the news got out that he had died, which you can find here:

http://youchew.net/f...emorial-collab/

It was my objective to make sure that we could all have one final laugh with Danny in honor and respect of his passing, and I hope we manage to succeed for his sake.

Rest in peace, Jack "Danny Wells" Westelman. You will be missed.

There are no doubt a variety of poopers that have come by and given their own take on the medium, being very recognizable for the way that their style is made. Sometimes the style is incredibly abstract, making it hard for someone to explain to someone else the very essence of the videos unless they were to watch them. Other times, the style can be described, mostly comparing itself to something or someone else. Here today, the pooper that is on the docket is the latter, but don't let that fool you into thinking that there is no complexity to be found in their work. For indeed, the packages with the plainest wrapping paper can be hiding some of the most interesting gifts. That pooper as you may imagine is RevFirst.



RevFirst (known as RevSecond, which is oddly catchier) is a British pooper whose methods can best be described as that of a stand up comedian. Other poopers have been known to be able to create videos that have multiple sources tied together with a theme, injokes that appear much to their fancy and jokes that at least give off a presence of being more carefully calculated, but RevFirst does it in a way that ties itself better to that of a person onstage trying to make the audience laugh. There's a showmanship that resonates from his work which comes off as more natural to the viewer. It doesn't resort to simply throwing quirky bits of text regaling on how something went right or wrong in the video. Rather it establishes itself and proceeds to run down the list, not stopping until it feels it needs to or when the show has finally ended. RevFirst isn't just aware that he's an entertainer, he's embracing it and making sure that you are entertained too. There are a multitude of works that showcase his abilities as a "pooper comedian", but let's start with his first work at the amateur's club.



Super Mario Assity (reuploaded on July 6th, 2010) is like how most of the poopers have entered into the scene when YTP was considered something to get into. It relied on a source that had been used a lot of times and jokes that had been done previously before. RevFirst does fall prey to this, but none of us can judge him. In some instances, they work pretty well. Perhaps it would have done much better in the hayday of 2006-2007 (which one could assume was the original upload date), but there are still moments where it still works well. Like any other pooper with potential, RevFirst uses already established material from YTP and turns into something new/different/better. Take the part where he uses the Ironside music. The joke is simple and overdone, switch the frame every time the sound goes off, usually going crazier and crazier. Rather than end it in typical fashion, Rev decides to end it with a bang...literally. It subverts the joke enough to get someone to see more possibilities for the joke. Another moment of brilliance is when he uses the typical sound clips of YTP (mainly Mami Luigi, Ganon's "DIE" and censor bleeps) and formats them in a way so that they work in a way that can make the joke work. One of the better moves in the video, apart from the constant use of Family Guy music, comes from the beginning, when he uses a screaming soundclip on a piece of meat being torn apart. It's perhaps the earliest iconic joke of his.



Sonic Wants Dat Ass (another reupload on July 6th, 2010) managed to take his comedic potential a step further by better intregrating the typical brand of YTP with his own sense of humor. Once again, he manages to take the staples of YTP and turn them into his own. The scene where he transitions to the Super Mario World title card and then turns it back to the original source by inserting Tyrannosaurus Allan. What's so great about that part is that it worked. Super Mario World took place in the prehistoric era, the prehistoric era usually involves dinosaurs and Allan is a tyrannosaurus. The better part of the joke is that the way the shot is framed makes it at first seem like it's a clip from Super Mario World, but the reveal shows that it's AoTSH. Then there's the part where Robotnik turns into a game of Dig Dug, sprites and all. Using the "PINGAS" sound clip when he destroys an enemy is perhaps the simplest part of the joke, but it is the most hilarious part as well. It's like a punchline that you see a mile away, but when it comes out, it leaves you on the floor, covered in tears. The rest of the video has other great parts that poke at the source. Having Breezy being referred to DAT ASS points out just how oversexualized she is in the cartoon, even going so far to include a vibrator joke when Sonic bashfully comes by. The pause at 0:10 is a wonderful smear and he holds the frame for enough seconds to let you truly sink it the absurdity. The repeat at 0:52 are pitched in the most melodically chaotic way possible, and it adds further to the effect. It's not just the typical joke, rather it is an advancement of the joke. Perhaps the most ingenious joke comes from when Robotnik says that they're all Sonic and it pans to the townsfolk resembling the blue blur. As it keeps going, eerie music plays in the background and it cuts back to Robotnik's displeased mug. While these are perhaps the stronger jokes that come through, the rest of the jokes still do their work to engage you into the video and wanting you to see what RevFirst wants to throw at you next. The ending did take away from the routine, but it didn't do enough to ruin the experience.



By this point, RevFirst had figured that instead of relying on old material, and instead take on new material. No doubt there was points in his video making career that he did refer back to older jokes of his, but his methods evolved and helped to create a staple for his work. This is increasingly evident in The Secret Fry Sailor Squirrel Show, which while being another reupload, shows the evolution of his style into something new. A very good summary of what to expect in his latest video is simply to look at the last few seconds. The sentence mix "Stick with the CD-I jokes, boy" followed by a black and white zoom in on Spongebob's goofy gaze is exactly what you get. A smile on your face that relies more on original jokes rather than the typical YTP cliches. The shortness in length helps to give the jokes that are made more power, and the jokes themselves are spectacularly constructed. You hear the increased pitch in the fish saying "OPEN" as it then moves into Plankton admiring Krabs's derriere followed by Patrick obliviously berating his dead friend to the clever use of masking on the big fish proceeded by everyone yelling as Knuckles spins uncontrollably which then turns to the fish uncontrollably yelling in various pitches to Spongebob failing on the jump as it holds on his splattered body with the Taxi TV theme, credits and the big fish. It doesn't end there, but it throws the joke one after another, keeping you on your toes as you watch the video and giggling at each turn. It's even better when you see him giving you the title card for the episode he's pooping and then going all out with that source as best he can. There was definitely a lot he did with the Fry Cook Games, but the Dr. Squidward scene in Sailor Mouth, the callback to Plankton's ass in Squirrel Jokes and every joke involved with the "My Leg" fish is beautiful in its own right.



As the video so aptly put in the first 20 seconds, this is a video where Rev greatly expands his library of techniques. While not the first time that he's done multisource poops (in fact his own contribution to the Youtube Poop: The Movie gag was quite a spectacle to behold), A Tale Of Self-Hatred and Masochism has a better cohesion to it, and a great sense of self-awareness. For one, he starts the video a clip from YTP News where it seems that he was going to become the next big pooper since Deepercutt. Cut to April 28th, 2011 where he only has 746 subscribers. At first the tone seems to be grim, with a crying Luigi falling off the ledge, but it then you hear Monty Python and things start to head in a new direction. There's a lot more masking used along with a multitude of unique sources. The portion with Dragonball Z takes advantage of the over-the-top nature by having Vegeta crap out whooping humans, get his shit kicked in by a bear who just happened to enjoy the view of an explosion and being left on the streets of a Spiderman cartoon. Also his computer doesn't work which then throws in a Skype in-joke that no one will get. That last part is nice because he makes a joke and immediately informs the viewer what's going on. Then you hear Marge Simpson say duh, which adds a bit of humor for everyone to get. And if that doesn't suffice, then fuck, here's a guy's face flipped around constantly. He repeats the joke again a bit later which is funnier the second time and then you get a part filled with a Blingee style of nonsense masked in. It gets you back in the rhythm of the comedy quickly and you merely forget that you might have missed a joke because you're not a chat group with him. There's also more jokes that are more "personal" such as the slowed-down scene of American Psycho involving a criticism someone else made of his work and the YTPMV followed by a Breakbit joke, but he manages to insert a great deal of humor to it with the former having the problem solved and the latter being a callback to a previous poop of his. RevFirst also makes a clever Family Guy by having it use the GoAnimate equivalent of Peter Griffin which is then pummelled by Harry Partridge (who made a video which did just that) which then stops, cuts to Proto, and then returns to the Harry that's beating up the GoAnimate Peter getting beaten up by another Harry. Add in some pony jokes for relevance and the "this explosion won't do" bit as a unique gag and this video solidifies it's presence.



Welcome To The World Of Randum was considered by Rev to be one of the most challenging poops he's ever made. Considering that he chose sources that were not intended for a poop with a variety of different sources, there was a great difficulty allowing them to be tied together in some way shape or form. Still, there was a great deal of effort made, and it could be said that this was akin to a good improv show. Sure, there were times that the video seemed to fall under the lack of a backbone keeping it straight, but in its madness it found moments to truly shine with what it was given. Already the opening brings in the action and you're not sure what to do with your expectations. Rev has proven himself a great pooper but this video is just a clusterfuck of sources that will flow in whatever way it can. There are some SSS/FamilyLawnmower jokes but they prove to work well, especially since Senor Chang is a favorite no matter what. There's also a lot of callbacks to previous jokes and poops he's made (in fact there is a part that pretty much is Sonic Wants Dat Ass 2.0), hell there's even earlier references to the exact poop he's making. That is actually a good tool in improv, to use previous jokes if you're stuck and add on to them. Aside from the Sonic section, there's a callback to the whooping humans, which this time are tears that are played along with the Eight Melodies joke, which works to create a good fusion of the humor that Rev enjoys. There was a good use of masking, particularly with the Donkey Kong bit, as immediately when Mario dies, it turns into Mario falling into the ocean. The stutters and repetitions are more plentiful in this video, which isn't usually how he rolls, but it still works. Transitions are also a great forte in this video, which is tricky when you consider the jumps between sources. A great one is how it takes another hilarious smear from AoSTH and then has Dan Backslide declare his love for her along with a furry reference that then is referred to again with the KoTH source in a way that borders between general nonsense and slightly surreal. Perhaps the best part is the last 30 seconds of the video which has another self-awareness joke, with another comeback joke along with a catchy song and a quasi call-out to Likety. It has a few holes in it, but considering all the things he had at his disposal and all of the jokes that he was able to make, he proved that he could take anything and make at least something intriguing out of it.



If RevFirst is a pooper equivalent of a comedian, then My Little Niggaz With Attitude is his critically-acclaimed HBO special. While there are other videos of him well worth the praise, and some of his collaborations with other poopers like Uwilmod and DaKooperPooper are among one of the most enjoyable experiences in modern YTP, this video is the ultimate hallmark of his versatility, creativity and timing. You get a second and a half of MLP and then it immediately tears it away to reveal a poop filled with gangsters and rap. It then proceeds to go buckwild in the greatest way it can. Starting with N.W.A's 100 Miles and Runnin, you have a man being comfortable with a transvestite, which is made even better with the "I don't give a fuck" coming through. One could give it a deep spin as to how it reflects that rap culture is usually very homophobic and that this is merely subverting it in a lighter tone, which in a way makes the joke better. What's better then that is the inclusion of Ghost's favorite game revealing Joseph Barbara as the minority. Even better then that is the use of masking on a black man flipping over a car, then crashing, getting a standing ovation and being called a little tiger by Simon Cowell. That is perhaps the best joke that RevFirst has ever made. The timing, the pacing and the payoff all help to make it a memorable bit of the video that one can look back at. Then there's the one of the Geto Boys having text blood coming out his nose and then David Bailey is watching him. That's also iconic simply because of the clear-cut technique and the goofiness of the soundclip and a fat Link. The other bits basically follow the same style of having a joke, playing it out for as long as it needs to go and then moving on to a new joke. Each of them have their own varying degrees of permanence to them such as the Micheal Rosen rap being jeered off, the King bursting through the roof of his house and beating up P. Diddy for copyright and Robotnik not taking any shit from Missy Elliot. All of them carry a bit of humor for all the viewers but an absolute riot for those with certain tastes. The Soulja Boy remix is a great closer, especially with the joke at the end where Yahtzee just hates on the black man. It was almost like the "football" bit that Cosby did only with less dignity and more zaniness. It would have been fine there but Rev decides to go back on stage and say one more joke, which ties everything up so well.



While there are many other videos to divulge into, it is fitting to end this look at the style of RevFirst with this. It proves the flexibility of his abilities and it still proves that he is able to keep the jokes coming. Best of all, it is a great example of self-awareness and self-parody which is something that Rev has often enjoyed tackling. Made for the Simplicty Collab, UnSimplicity serves to do the same as Welcome To The World of Randum by having a challenge that Rev can then build upon and make something of his own. Armed with stutters, transitions and making videos larger and smaller, he takes the multisource approach that he's done incredibly well in and applies it to this collab entry. Callbacks return, and they're used as great as ever. The meat joke from Super Mario Assity returns again and seems to work better with a more HD look and a stutter/reversal effect to boot. Sonic's hilarious smear returns and gets one of the funniest audio clips added on to it that turns a simple reference he did in the past to a staple of the greatest jokes that Rev has created. Speaking of which, the callback to the stuttering weasel returns and gets a payoff that is nothing short of poetic. Some of his more original jokes work magnificently too, with the best one being the swatiska made of a pooped Hitler video, followed by Hitler being stuck in a dimensional flux. Tidus's laugh being interrupted by an irate Zach was wonderful as well. The most inventive portion of the video has to go to the last 20 seconds of the video where the repetition and absurdity go to the next level, turning the video into a broken record that is then interrupted by Dr. Wily tripping up that Dr. Light sucka and fleeing, only to be trapped by the repetition he himself inflicted. It ends with a bang and all that is left is to be in awe of how Rev can still do so much despite limitations.

RevFirst, like many other poopers, makes silly videos to see if people enjoy them. Beyond that, he is a pooper who doesn't take him seriously and wants to poke fun at anything he can. He is relaxed when it comes to when he wants to make a video and he doesn't feel like he has to be there for too long for you to get something great out of what he makes. There are times where he will turn to the old and adapt it into something newer and more amusing, and then there are times where he wants to go into a new territory and take a crack and making a gag out of it. He enjoys to bring back his older jokes, but rather than tell them again, he tinkers with them, and turns the jokes into something else. Sometimes he'll recognize that the simplest jokes are the greatest jokes and other times he'll take the time to piece together a bit that requires all the techniques he's learned. He knows his audience and he knows how he has to play the game in order to win it. No matter if he's too fast, too repetitive or has too many explosions, RevFirst is always here for the laughs.

The surface your art is drawn on makes a notable difference. Canvas is exemplary at holding acrylic paint, absorbing what would otherwise splatter into blobs. Watercolor, on the other hand, is best suited to a rough, thick paper that will soak in the pigments without muting or smearing their colors. The question is, what is the right medium for art on sheet metal stalls?

Bathroom graffiti gets plenty of flack. It’s a nuisance they say, as it fills an otherwise private setting with obscenities and stupidity. What these hypothetical people don’t consider is how each graffito is an expression of the human psyche, a snapshot into the mind of a man or woman who might never otherwise be heard.

Graffiti is one of the earliest known iterations of social media, a method of passive communication almost as ancient as the language it is engraved in. Graffiti takes the inner thoughts of any person- young or old, wealthy or poor- and puts them on display in a public forum.

There are examples of graffiti dating back to ancient Rome; when a mountain of hot ash froze Pompeii in the kiln of time, it resulted in more than repeated orders to close our eyes. The ruins of Pompeii are filled with scratched and scraped messages displaying the news and events of the times, each statement showing us another scrap of their lost world. Websites such as http://www.pompeiana...rom pompeii.htm share declarations from the past, nuggets of truth such as “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates” or the deeply-enlightening “Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’.” If these do not seem to be very outstanding to a modern reader, perhaps it is us who have not changed very much over the centuries. Have this scene as an example:



The satirical exchange that is taking place on this door (or possibly wall) is but one example of the combination of intimacy and anonymity that graffiti can provide. The power of the response is not directed at whoever made the initial statement; chances are they have already made up their mind. Rather, this graffiti conversation is a warning to other young readers, begging them to research their political views before clinging to them blindly.

The first voice, which identifies himself as “Ydan”, has set their bar rather low. Ydan seems to want to rebel and wishes to express their rebellion on the walls - somewhat aimlessly, they can only think of writing for the sake of writing, rebellion for the sake of rebellion. This is a phase every human being goes through, in varying degrees of severity.

Society offers Ydan, who gets misinterpreted as "Dan", an easy, gentle put-down. There is no punishment, or rather a minimal punishment for a minimal crime. When Society sees rage and fury signifying nothing, they opt to wave away Ydan’s neophyte ranting. Perhaps one day he will have something substantial to say, but until then he is encouraged to listen before he makes statements.

That example of humanity on a plastic wall comes from http://notesfromthestall.com . In fervor to find more of these transient treasures, I endeavored to find my own example. The revelation came to me in a Wal-Mart restroom, glowing with a heavenly silver sheen:



This is only the first half of this sprawling message. I want you to digest the contents in chunks, each piece contributing to the whole.

First, notice that the message is signed with a silver paint pen, of the type used for marking construction work. Graffiti is rarely ever planned- the artist who entered the men’s room was cut from rough, working-class cloth, the sort of person who constitutes the backbone of society. This voice is the voice of a nation.

Also note that the unknown artist wrote it in paint marker instead of scratching the same words into the dispenser’s surface. There is a good chance that a janitor will eventually wipe this message away; these silver musings have a shorter lifespan than the uncontroversial “Jesus loves you”. Perhaps an impermanent message held more meaning for whoever wrote it?

Now onto the message itself. The first three words say it all, “As I shit”. This brave artist does not mince his words. He is not tinkling, he is not pooing, he is not “going to the bathroom”; he has already arrived at the bathroom, and he is shitting. Whatever the artist’s identity, he is a staunch realist. Even the font is soaked in realism, a large and pragmatic typeface with blocky serifs on the “I”, only rounded due to the canvas provided.

But when he shits, he thinks. The constant white noise of the ego is a universal part of the human condition, musing and summarizing in non-stop loops. Even in a private stall, we always have the company of ourselves. But what was the anonymous man thinking of in that moment?

Not “your Ass”, that is a leftover scrap from other graffiti. Neither did he say, “As I shit I think about Fuck you”. As it is with any medium, attempts to communicate with art often face crossed signals from their competition. No, he thinks about life. What is his conclusion?



“Fuck Bitches, Get Money.” While this man’s newly discovered creed seems shallow on the surface, perhaps he has a reason to say such words.

The enlightened view of romantic relationships is that they are long-term investments. A strong, meaningful bond between two lovers should last longer than anything money can purchase. This man is not talking about long-term relationships, and sadly may have never even seen one. All he knows are one-night stands and meaningless lust - “bitches”, in other words.

This artist is a broken man, far past sorrow. All that remains in his heart is a numbness which meaningless sex could not heal. He instead seeks mortal wealth, knowing that it is only a temporary relief yet not caring in the slightest. As a last resort, he flings a silver light out to any other man who sits, broken-hearted, trying to quit yet never even beginning.

And yet he holds back the last of his acid. The last word of his message appears to be some racist epithet, yet it crumples in on itself and collapses into a censored heap. Perhaps he feared what would happen if he said it out loud; perhaps he only repeated the word out of frustration and subtle memetic manipulation. He may even be one of those the word insults, his handwriting’s sloppy form only caused by a poor angle for writing. This last word is an alchemical shift within the art, adding violence and glibness to an otherwise simple statement. Perhaps it is best that it is mostly illegible.

It is unlikely that anyone not already reading this will ever see this graffiti. This man’s pain and isolation in the center of a vast retail store remains obscure, a private Morse code tapping on the walls of his emotional prison. The least we can do is comfort him at a distance, and support those other accidental artists. Visit websites such as http://www.graffitiproject.com to spread awareness of these meaningful messages, and maybe one day someone will reach out to you too.

And remember, readers:



Say Perhaps to Drugs.

SLIDE FOR NEW ROLL
MOVER PARA UN ROLLO NUEVO

"What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?" - Jesse Pinkman

Don't lie; you were expecting this at some point.

Oh, you were? Ah, man, I'm such a goof.

Anyways, Breaking Bad is an AMC drama/thriller series written by Vince Gilligan, who was also involved in Hancock (as a writer), X-Files (as an executive producer), and The Lone Gunmen (co-creator). However, he is undoubtedly most famous for this particular series, and it's not at all difficult to see why. After 5 years and 5 seasons, the show is being hailed as arguably the greatest television drama of all time, and one of the greatest shows of all time. Many a TV buff will ejaculate themselves, form a goofy smile across their face, and bounce around like a crack-addicted preteen whenever the mere mention of the show comes up. The show is a guaranteed conversation starter across the land of pop culture, whether it be because fans simply want to praise the hell out of it, quote the numerous brilliantly delivered lines, go out of their way to reference how Jesse loves to add "bitch" at the end of every sentence... you know the drill.

However, the show did not start off with such enthusiastic attention, critical acclaim and its famous pop culture reputation. No siree, it was not an instant hit overseas initially, unfortunately.

At the time, it was a very surprising concept. A morally-righteous high school chemistry teacher that is seemingly harmless and innocent becomes a top-level meth kingpin that rules his territory with an iron fist and death glares that would cause even the most hardened criminals to faint in an instant. Or, as an official simplification by Vince Gilligan himself, it is a series where "Mr. Chips becomes Scarface". The cast choices were even more surprising at the time; Anna Gunn, who didn't have many major roles before (Deadwood and Down the Shore being a couple examples), Dean Norris, who mostly played supporting roles as some type of law enforcement character (such as Boston Public, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and Grey's Anatomy), Aaron Paul, who was mostly a fairly bit player, also regulated to supporting roles (CSI: Miami, Kingpin, Bones, Criminal Minds), and of course, most surprising of all, Bryan Cranston, previously best known for his role as Hal, the inept goofball father in Malcom in the Middle (another show I'm a fan of). Pretty much all the main cast stars had respectable careers before Breaking Bad despite their roles, but when they were cast for their respective roles in the show, it was where they truly showed off their acting prowess and ability to convey human emotion.

The show starts off fairly normal, with Walter White, our hero who is a sympathetic, likable person with a loving family and a steady relationship with his wife. However, this does not change the fact that he is a man who is a constant victim of being patronized, ridiculed, pushed around and overlooked by the world, and is an indisputable chemistry genius who is incredibly overqualified for his mostly thankless job as a teacher and a car wash worker, the latter of which where he feels eternally humiliated and degraded. Either way, despite being treated like dirt in general, he does not appear too aggravated and goes about his life with a calm exterior. Then he gets word from his doctor, out of the blue, that he has inoperable lung cancer. Soon after, his boss tells him to continue to wipe down cars, then he flips his lid and makes a mess of the establishment, insulting his eyebrows to cap his temper tantrum off. He promptly loses his job due to his behavior.

We would all be going "why me?" by now, I'm quite sure of that.

A near deadbeat life, two menial jobs, a victim of public affronts, and then he suddenly finds out he has a disease he's sure to die from; poor bastard. Anyone with any bit of soul would want to hug the guy for having to deal with all this shit. The fact that he isn't suicidal is honestly rather surprising. Then...

"...Pinkman?"

After this HILARIOUS scene, Walt goes up to Jesse Pinkman (the dude putting his pants on, obviously) and blackmails him into making meth with him. Combined with his chemistry knowledge and his former student's drug dealing abilities, they'll undoubtedly go on to make an unstoppable team.

And so begins a long, crazy adventure into the depths of morality and how much being involved in the drug business can mentally fuck up even the most unimpressive and meek men. Walt producing meth in the first place is obviously a horrible idea, since he's pretty much helping people ruin their own lives and will no doubt have to face serious consequences in the future, but he initially had good intentions; he just wants to make enough money to go beyond ends meet and help out his family. Little do most viewers know that this motivation soon becomes a simple excuse to feed his increasingly large ego, making him even considering to do the act completely pointless in the first place.

On another note, there is Walt's iconic bald look that has become synonymous with him and the show at large. He shaves his head during the sixth episode, and keeps it that way for the majority of the show. No one would really argue the significance of it, much less how utterly badass, professional and awesome it makes him look.

While the first season is overall quite good and a great kick-off to a superb series, it doesn't quite have the boom-pow the next four seasons had that handed Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn and Bryan Cranston their Emmy awards and pole-vaulted this series into the sensation status it has now. However, the 2007-2008 Writer's Strike didn't really help in the long run, as it significantly hindered what the staff could do, and the season slightly suffered as a result; though the keyword is slightly. Boy-oh-boy, though, is the pay-off worth it for viewers that start with the first season (though obviously, with a show like this, everyone should start with the first season so you'll know what the hell is going on by the second season premiere).

Season 2 is where the show really starts to show off the talents of the actors, the high-quality writing, the iron-clad continuity, what-have-you. Whereas most episodes of the first season ended on a relatively calm note and didn't have too many threads hanging, the second season ups the intensity of the series' flow by a wide margin. Every other scene from the second season premiere on introduces a new plot element, shows off depths of a character you'd never possibly imagine, throws in symbolism all over the place that anyone who's willing to follow and interpret correctly will obtain genuine shocks, and just tries its best to display crazy shit in general. Each episode ending also either has a cliffhanger, a dread feeling or simply just looks the viewer in the face and says "watch the next part of this shit, or you're missing out".

Hank Schrader, Walt's brother-in-law and a DEA agent, originally starting as a boisterous, though intelligent and skilled investigator, shows off amazing depths beyond the loud and obnoxious man we've come to know prior to this batch of episodes. All starting with an incident in Mexico, where a bomb laced inside the decapitated head of a man on a tortoise (it's a long story, I'll leave it at that) is noticed by his co-workers, and they unknowingly set it off, triggering an explosion and a significant amount of casualties. He's really scared and confused and doesn't know all the details. This really starts to shape up as the show continues on, making for some incredible scenes, especially noteworthy because he's one of the main characters and an integral part of the plot.

To cap it all off, this season introduces some of the most beloved characters in the show; the hysterically crazy, sleazy and sarcastic, but sharp-dressed and incredibly intelligent Saul Goodman that becomes Walter and Jesse's criminal lawyer (emphasis on criminal), Gus Fring, the owner of Los Pollos Hermanos, a successful chicken restaurant and also a drug kingpin that is near equal in ruthlessness to Walt by the second half of the series that hires him and Jesse for his own ends and becomes the main antagonist, and Mike Ehrmantraut, Gus' best hitman and reluctant associate of Walt, who filled in the role of Saul due to his actor, Bob Odenkirk, being unable to be there for the season finale due to schedule constraints, but quickly grew to be one of the show's most important and popular characters.

However, the thing to keep in mind is that while the show essentially became golden in the eyes of fans at that point, the show had yet to hit mainstream status. Viewers still floundered in the singular million amount, and ratings didn't quite reach high levels. But the high level of quality continued into the next two seasons, despite lack of attention.

Season 3, while not introducing as many critical elements as the prior season, proved to be even better, flawlessly working off said elements and crafting progressively more and more engaging content. Skyler begins the season by (rightfully) wanting nothing to do with Walt, as by that point, Walt has become incredibly unscrupulous and is already deep into the gray side of morality, adding to his growing pile of misdeeds ever increasingly. The breaking point arguably started back in season 2, when Walt basically and officially showed Gretchen, Elliot's wife, how little their charity means to him, even though said 'charity' would not have caused all these events in the first place (for context, back in the first season, Elliot and Gretchen, old friends of Walt who work for a company called Gray Matter Technologies, offered to pay for his cancer treatment, though Walter politely refuses and lies that his treatment is already taken care of by another source). Walt, from there, is basically digging his grave, and it gets worse with this season after Skyler files for divorce and tries to get him off her back.

But what makes it worse is that for most of the rest of the show, Walt refuses to leave, justifying his lies and assuring Skyler that what he's done thus far is for his family, though most viewers surmised that it was for his ego and it's just an excuse, and nothing more. What makes this season so great is that this layer of the story influences much of what Walt does in the business, and the hole he began to deep early on really starts to get deeper, and deeper, and deeper still as Walt continually proves to us that the innocent, kind middle-aged man we thought he was is really a lying, ungrateful, prideful criminal that'd sooner save his own ass than anyone else's. He bullshits so much that he practically becomes the psychological personification of it, and it's all sorts of complex and jarring. No one could get enough of it, and the producers just kept on delivering.

Season 4 is what I'd like to denote as the point where everything starts to fall apart.

Bad for the characters, but undoubtedly must-see viewing for us. Walt's villainy grows to astronomical heights throughout this batch of episodes, Jesse really shows us how broken a man he really is, Skyler struggles to deal with Walt Jr.'s bitching, her own personal issues, and keeping Walt's outlaw life undercover, Hank grows incredibly cynical and shell-shocked due to what he's experienced (the Mexico incident, being almost shot to death by the batshit insane Salamanca Cousins, beating Jesse and feeling remorse immediately after, and more), Marie, Hank's wife, has to deal with his not unjustified grouchiness, and Gus Fring locks everyone he knows into his game and plays everything like a game of chess. All this is barely scraping the ice-burg, too!

The situation throughout the first half of the story, while not perfect, was largely in Walt's favor despite how he treated everyone else, and even when his motivations rotted, he still largely got what he wanted through sheer evil actions. This and the final season are all about Walt's true, no-holds-barred descent into madness and eventually nothingness, and it's essential viewing for drama, and especially Breaking Bad, fans. All this build-up and tense feeling just begged for an explosion Hell itself would had never wanted to witnessed, and it's done perfectly with the flawless amount of realistically portrayed, but no less heart-breaking consequences, broken mindsets and mountains of neurosis.

Look bad to you? The scene is waaaaaaay worse, seriously.

Crawl Space is probably the most obvious episode where everything breaks; the situation becomes so dire (to wit; the relationship between Walt and Gus becomes incredibly strained to the point where Gus is perfectly willing to kill his entire family at the drop of a hat, Walt's resulting plan to move to a different area with new identities along with his family has become impossible due to Skyler using most of their money to help Ted Beneke, her boss, due to Ted's own retarded decisions, and it's set in stone that Walt has a horrible fate in store for him) that Walt has an absolutely horrifying mental breakdown that signifies the culmination of every bit of his stress, villainy, abuse and mistakes. This is the part where many believe that Heisenberg, Walter's drug empire alter ego, fully hatched from the egg in his mind and completely took over his mind... and almost every single thing that happened from then on transforms that metaphor to life the only way Breaking Bad can.

Oh, and let's just say that a certain core character dies an equally shocking death that caps off the brilliance of this season. The "oh shit" feeling I had for most of the show grows to the size of a bag of balloons and beyond, and doesn't shrink for a single moment. But all this aside, it still hit many a fan that the show is not over yet. There are still one too many strings undone, too many character arcs undone, and too many potential ideas to be just tossed away. With the idea that this much quality could probably be fitting for a show to end on, it's still too little for a show that's meant to be hailed high, not below.

The ratings and viewers, while noticeably somewhat larger than before (the season 4 premiere managed to break 2.5 viewers!), still didn't reach the highs befitting a show of this quality. Most fans are understandably frustrated that the general crowd didn't know quality television when it was shoved up their own asses, and that case is no different for this show. It still deserves much better, and nothing will ever change that. One thing that DID change eventually, though? Yes, the moment you've all been waiting for.

The final season, the most famous one of the show, bar none, and the point where this series finally got the recognition it deserved after a 4 year wait. This is where the mainstream status truly showed up, where all the pop culture stuff 100% kicked in, where the fan-base, while still unfailingly loyal and lovable, became really stupid (Skyler hate, anyone?) and crazed, and where everything else that makes Breaking Bad what it is came into play overall. It's really a thing of beauty for the industry, with all the acclaim and whatnot colliding head-on, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a viewer that disagrees.

As far as the story goes, the season kicks off with a quick flash-forward, where Walt's sitting at Denny's looking like shit, but at the same time planning something. He has an M60 latched onto his car, and is no doubt using that for something major. Back to the present, Walt tells Skyler that he killed Gus, and Skyler's absolutely horrified of that fact. This is the season where their relationship not only reaches its worst state, but where Jesse becomes borderline suicidal, Hank finds out some shocking things (to say the least) that drive him from shell-shocked to insanity, Saul begins to lose his patience with the show's main duo, and many other unthinkable things. However, the season, while still as tense and question-raising as ever, is relatively restrained and subtle... at first.

Everything goes downhill when Hank learns the aforementioned shocking things (won't spoil for courtesy's sake), goes nuts, and becomes fully obsessed with tracking down Heisenberg, the mission he was already heavily focused on all the way back in the beginning, at the end of the first half of the season. To put things into perspective, imagine season 4's breaking point as a set of dominoes that slowly topple over until the season finale. The breaking point for THIS season? The dominoes are now dynamites and instead of them being inside a small house, they're inside a highly flammable warehouse filled with gasoline and water. Oh, and the season had to be split into two parts.

"I won" - Walter "Heisenberg" White

You read that right; the fifth season is so messed up, so dark, and so amazing, Vince had to spare our mental capacities and split it into two parts. Due to the established extremities the latter portion of this season has set, people tend to be split on whether the first and second half should be considered a whole season, just in two parts separated by a year, or two different seasons due to how intense the second part is by comparison. I don't see that tactic used with shows often, and it's not surprising by any means that Breaking Bad used it. Due to how amazing the latter portion is, though, I won't spoil anything about it. Just... get up to that point and watch it yourself. Words do little-to-nothing to do it justice.

As far as ratings/viewers go, the ratings were EXTREMELY high in comparison to the previous seasons. The first half lingered around 3 million viewers, which is already pretty good! The show finally managed to break a decent viewing audience for itself, which it has more than earned. By the second half? CONSTANT approximation between 4.50 and 6.70 million, and by the finale, over 10 million, which not only broke the record set for the previous seasons 100+x over, but it even surpassed Dexter's series finale viewings by a large margin, which is quite impressive, and it was only a little behind the The Soprano's series finale. THAT was where the show reached the attention it truly deserved ever since its conception 5 years ago, and it shows that our generation is still capable of seeing genius despite having lowered standards.

The symbolism that was so prevalent throughout the series is probably at its best at the very end, too. Felina, the final episode of the series, is a reference to a song by Marty Robbins about a cowboy that loses his love, which is very similar to what Walt goes through during the closing act; it's also an anagram for 'finale', which by itself is clever enough. But then it hit me... there are 62 episodes in this series total, and the 62nd element on the periodic table is a chemical element used to help treat bone cancer. Vince, you goddamned genius, you.

This is probably the only show I know of that gets better with each passing season; while most shows I know fall victim to seasonal rot instead of improving, or zig-zag in quality throughout their runs, this show truly improves throughout each season, as it takes advantage of virtually every element it has, its characters, the symbolism it subtly introduces, and even the number of episodes to create a truly compelling complex, and entertaining watch. Breaking Bad really is a show for many types of people; for those that can handle some mature content, those that want a good story, those that like complex character studies, those that believe in truly wretched souls getting what they're asking for and a show following the basic rules of karma without fault, and even people that simply love pointing out interesting details and symbolism that go over other people's heads. I think it has it all, and while it might not be for everyone, such as people that dislike bleak storylines (stay far away from this show if you want everything to be all hunky-dory by the end), for those that can handle a humble man becoming something identical to a demon, I suggest you watch immediately.

It’s nice when a movie franchise gets better instead of worse. We’ve gotten so used to films with diminishing returns – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (good God), Ice Age, Cars, Die Hard, The Karate Kid, any Disney movie, any Jim Carrey movie, even Star Wars – that we forget: it doesn’t have to be this way. Filmmakers can learn from their mistakes, and make sequels that outdo or at least equal the earlier films. Most franchises don’t do this, as their creators only care about replicating the success and not the quality. However, certain franchises can avoid the sequel pitfalls and just keep getting better and better.

The now-improperly-titled movie series Madagascar is such a franchise. I couldn’t help but notice that each Madagascar film has a higher Rotten Tomatoes score than the last. While the first one got mixed reviews, the third one got solid approval, even some praise. Going by this logic, the fourth Madagascar film must be some kind of critically-acclaimed masterpiece with a score in the high 80s or low 90s. Dreamworks cannot possibly let people down now. And what do you know it, but my theory proved exactly right.

Madagascar 4: Escape from Apartheid South Africa continues the upward trend of the Madagascar films, and is by far the best film in the series, maybe even the best animated film of the year. You might ask how I know this, or if the film even exists. Luckily, my uncle works for Dreamworks and he got me into a special screening of the film, which won’t go to general audiences until 2017, “when people are ready for it.” I trust the members of this site to be mature enough to handle this masterwork, so I’ll share as much as I can.

The plot echoes the stories of past films, but with added social commentary and depth. Fresh out of Europe, our favorite animal team – Alex the lion, Marty the zebra, Gloria the hippo, Ross Melman the giraffe, plus the lovable lemurs and penguins – are in a boat in the Pacific, still trying to get home to New York. While sailing on the high seas, the gang of four gets sucked into a time rift in the ocean (a la Jack Black’s Gulliver’s Travels). This rift unfortunately leads to the coast of South Africa in 1985, at the height of the apartheid era. Having no knowledge of history, the gang doesn’t notice anything different when they pull up on the shore. Alex feels glad to be back in New York, Gloria seems puzzled at the lack of black people, Melman mistakes bunny chow for a bear claw, the penguins do some stuff, and the lemurs try to sell shoddy goods to the local kudu.

Unfortunately for Marty, he forgot to take off his circus wig from the last Madagascar film, and he soon gets into trouble. To amuse the other animals, he starts dancing and singing the beloved song “Afro Circus.” This gets the attention of the apartheid authorities, who come to arrest him. See, singing “Afro Circus” counts as a celebration of black culture, which in the authorities’ eyes also counts as a form of racial protest. How can order be maintained if animals are inciting the blacks to good self-esteem? The police corner Marty after a chase and beat him to an unrecognizable pulp. (Gloria avoids them because she’s sufficiently light-skinned. They just call her a “colored tub” and write her a fine instead.) Thrown in jail, Marty bonds with the other prisoners, who are all activists for social justice. Knowing it’s all been a big misunderstanding, Marty thinks he’ll get out soon, but he’s dead wrong.

Marty’s arrest leads to his trial at a kangaroo court. Forced to defend himself, Marty claims that he’s “white with black stripes,” not the other way around, and that as a white citizen he shouldn’t be prosecuted. Mr. Goosen (a menacing turn from Sharlto Copley), the villainous judge who also runs the jail, isn’t having any of it. He declares the zebra to be “black with white stripes” and sentences him to life imprisonment. At the same time, he personally decides to crack down on any kind of protesting. This puts Alex and the gang in a pickle. Not only do they have to rescue Marty from jail, but they have to temporarily end the apartheid regime and set all the innocent Africans free. How are they going to do this?

I don’t want to spoil all the film’s great moments, so I’ll just go by the blurb Dreamworks provided me at the screening: “It’s up to the three friends to save Marty, with the help of an angry and good-looking protestor from Soweto (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a tough but sexy rugby player (Charlize Theron), and an old inmate who knows the prison inside and out (Morgan Freeman). Together, these people and animals (who are people too) discover the true meanings of friendship, equality, and racial harmony!”

I’ll admit, it’s hard to stay silent about the most memorable parts. Never is the film more hilarious than when Alex and Marty accidentally interrupt a rugby tournament, destroying the Afrikaners’ chances of winning and inciting a gigantic race riot in the process. Also worth noting is the original character, a leopard named Biko and voiced by Kevin Hart. He joins the group in their prison break scheme and imparts vital wisdom to them all. The film includes a gut-busting scene where Biko tries in vain to explain to Gloria that she’s “black and beautiful.” “Whas that suppose to mean?” she asks. He replies, “It means PUT YO DICK ON THE COUNTER SO I CAN SUCK IT!” Obviously, she doesn’t take this well.

(Actual film footage)

The film also contains some of Sacha Baron Cohen’s wittiest dialogue, such as the scene where he imitates an Afrikaner accent so he can probe Charlize Theron’s uniform, if you catch my drift. Even Cedric the Entertainer joins the fun, introducing rap music to the jive bands of Soweto and advancing the music scene by 20 years. Because more characters is always a good thing, especially in Bleach’s case, we also get some more comic relief from a tawny eagle and a cape cobra played by Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, respectively. Idris Elba also has a small but memorable part as a certain future president of South Africa who’s stuck in the same block as Marty.

Eventually, good triumphs over evil, and the penguins and lemurs infiltrate the prison, opening the cells and setting Marty and the future president free. This allows for the one of the film’s greatest parts, a lengthy cameo. A cameo might be seen as a pointless attempt to stay relevant, but not in this film, where it provides the most emotional scene. Goosen almost catches the fugitive gang until Bono touches down from space to make a speech about the evils of apartheid and the beauty of black and white brotherhood. Goosen is defeated and the black crowds break out of the ghetto to cheer for Bono. Then Bono starts clapping his hands and the children drop like flies, but thankfully the animals get back into their boat and find the time rift. What’s a few dead Africans if the animals make it out okay?

But wait! Alex remembers the butterfly effect - they could’ve changed the course of history. Sure enough, the present day is very different from the one they knew at the film’s beginning. When they get back to New York, they find that the United States has a…black president? In 2009? “Maybe we didn’t do such a wonderful thing after all,” Melman worries. Gloria slaps him and the credits roll.

There are plenty of other attributes to love in the film, like the soundtrack, collaborated upon by Peter Gabriel and Paul Simon. It was a very tasteful move to score Marty’s violent arrest and brutalization with “You Can Call Me Al,” and it was nice to hear “Biko” played over the end credits, and covered by Mike Will Made It, no less. However, the work truly is greater than the sum of its parts. Madagascar 4: Escape from Apartheid South Africa will truly be a game-changer in the animation world, inspiring other studios to make films with the same amount of social commentary and drama and almost the same amount of leopard poop.