Remember the seventies? I certainly don't but I know a lot of people my age who act like they think they do.  What what Dark Side Of The Moon coming out in '73, tons of great movies such as Star Wars and The Godfather and the rise of the hippie (which has now mutated into this annoying creature called a hipster) and use of marijuana being key elements of the era. The thing is that these folk tend to avoid three things in particular. The Vietnam War, disco and blaxploitation. To them, 'Nam's only interesting if you're looking at movies that are based on the horrors it brought out and disco's deader than Nixon's reputation in '74. Blaxploitation, on the other hand, is a trickier beast. It's hard to say if there is an interest or not in this genre, but if it did, it would be somewhat difficult to assemble a collection from scratch. See, it's not as readily available to us young cats as it used to be. That's not to say you can't find the popular entries, but those that are more unknown tend to be hidden underneath a bargain bin at a local video store. Notice that I said "local video store", not a fancy-smancy Blockbuster down the street. Either way, video stores are a dying breed, especially the ones run by more independent folk. I happened to stumble across the last one in my vicinity which was having a clear out sale. Looking for some interesting entertainment, I came across Blacula, an entry that is neither oblivious to the public nor widely recognized. I knew that this would be decent entertainment because it sounded ridiculous, so I took it (along with a few other DVDs) and went my merry way.

Now, one must remember that if they're going to watch a blaxploitation film, they need to be in a particular mindset to truly enjoy it. These films may contain:

- Funk and soul music
- Cheesy as hell effects and choreography
- Use of the N-word
- Erotic undertones
- Erotic overtones
- Jive talk
- Ignorant white men being taken down and/or white people becoming doormats

So if you honkeys can't handle this groove, then y'all better split now. Let's get to the down and dirty.



"Hmm, I wonder what the blood of a negro tastes like..."

The movie starts with an African prince named Mamuwalde (played by the Z-list version of Billy D. Williams, Williams H. Marshall) and his wife Luva (played by the saucy Vonetta McGee) speaking to the vampire king himself, Count Dracula. Mamuwalde is speaking to the Count about the slave trade and how he wants him to maybe cut back on suppressing the lives of his people. You tend to notice that Mamuwalde's one sophisticated smooth-talking negro. Every word he says sounds so resonant and relaxed, you can't help but be hypnotized by what he has to say. Being that the Count is not only a blood sucking pale-faced monster and a vampire, he's not going to follow through with Mamuwalde's proposal and decides to bite him on the neck. Because that's really the only thing vampires can do, make idle chit-chat and suck your blood. He curses Mamuwalde that he will rest in one of his tombs and carry on with the Count's legacy, as the eponymous Blacula when released. As for his wife? Well she gets to cry around his locked coffin for the rest of her life until she withers away. Delightful.

Afterwards we get some intriguing animated opening credits and we cut to 1972, where two gay interior decorators decide to take Dracula's estate and coincidentally take Blacula's coffin with them to a L.A warehouse. They talk about how gay they are because that's all gay people did in the 70s and then they open the coffin one of them wants to use as a bed for their horror themed house. I guess black is the new pink. As expected Mamuwalde (who we will now deem Blacula) attacks the two and retreats back in his coffin because what else is he gonna do after biting two interior decorators? We focus on the black interior decorator whose friends have come to see the body. His friends, Tina Williams (another role that Vonetta had in this film), her sister Michelle (oddly enough played a civil rights activist named Denise Nicholas) and Michelle's boyfriend Dr. Gordon Thomas (played by a recurring blaxploitation actor Thalmus Rasulala) are unaware that they're being spied on by Blacula. Dr. Gordon (no, not that one) stays in the room and continues to pester the curator of the tomb about the details concerning the corpse of his friend. So much so, the curator calls Gordon a "rude nigger" in a way that mirrored Geoffrey sans the dry wit. Blacula believes that Tina is a reincarnation of his wife Luva, and since he hasn't gotten his groove on since the 18th century, he decided to get in on that by following her.

As you'd imagine, following a woman in the dark isn't really the best way to get her to think you're a nice guy so naturally she dashes like mad to her apartment dropping her purse. Of course, Blacula manages to get it and gives it to her, after biting a cab driver that ran him over and off the trail. To assure that he can win her over, he uses his normal name when introducing himself to her. With his charismatic demeanor, Tina invites Blacula over to meet up with her friends at a club. Again, you begin to notice the sheer wonder of Williams' acting as Blacula. As he talks to Tina and her friends in the club, you can just tell he's calculating carefully what he wants to say to draw her in. Luckily for Blacula, he managed to do just that. Tina just seems to be mesmerized by what he has to say, and it certainly helps that he looks like a boss nigger. As they're all having a good time and drinking champagne, a girl starts to take pictures of them. This doesn't please ol' Vlad Blacul too much because he doesn't show up on the pictures. So he tells the lady that it would be appreciated if she did not develop those pictures so that panic does not ensue amongst th-I'm just kidding, he sucks her blood and crumples one of the developed pictures so that no one will know about his secret.



And they say that he's the monster...

Now, this is actually quite clever of the movie of having Blacula not necessarily be a monster for the sake of "Ooh, I'm a vampire!" but rather eliminating people that will obstruct his path of rekindling the love that he has for his wife. It shows that he's not letting the inner nature of maliciousness that comes with being a vampire get the better of him. If anything, he's just using his newfound abilities as a tool to get to his primary human goal of finding passion once again. It is a bit peculiar that Tina just accepts that he's a vampire once he reveals that to her, but they did have sex, so I suppose Mamuwalde's ancient experience in the love-making makes up for it.

While all of this ooey-gooey romance is happening, Dr. Gordon is investigating the death of the interior decorators using all the information he can get from the LAPD. He notices that there have been more cases of the "teeth marks inside of the neck" and "empty blood vessels" occurring around the area and notices that there's a connection. He keeps trying to investigate, trying to come to a more reasonable conclusion than "Hey, I think we're being attacked by vampires". But after realizing that his friend's corpse has disappeared, it doesn't seem that crazy after. To be sure though, he convinces his girlfriend to assist him in digging up the other interior decorator's grave. Sure enough, once they open the coffin, Cracker McGee is a vampire. Dr. Gordon shoves a stake into his heart and then realizes that he's right on the level of batshit insane these cases have been. To prove to his boss that vampires are a threat, he thaws out the corpse of the cab driver and then blasts the sun on her before either of them get attacked. His boss realizes that it's best  to guard the city at night, but Gordon needs to find who's the source of all this mayhem. Sure enough, he finds out that it's Mamuwalde. I'm not sure what gave him that idea...was it the negative that he found in the house of the lady that was attacked that showed him not being there or Mamuwalde wearing a goddamn cape?



I think the make-up artist thought this was Night Of The Living Niggas

Dr. Gordon confronts Tina about this and gives Michelle a cross so that she can protect herself and Tina from when Blacula returns. Gordon, his boss and some cops try to go to the warehouse to confront Blacula, but surprise! Turns out that he not only moved his coffin somewhere else but also trapped them with a whole bunch of vampires. On the one hand, this is quite cruel of Blacula to just have them killed instead of finding a more diplomatic manner of making sure that he can keep his love and his life. On the other hand, Dr. Gordon just seems to kill vampires willy-nilly so it's a respectable precaution. Blacula manages to fly away and take Tina into his new lair, where eventually Dr. Gordon and the Cracker Cop Clan follow suit. Blacula disposes of each of the cops one by one as he tries to get to his coffin. Unfortunately for him, one of the cops shoots Tina instead of him, which prompts him to turn her into a vampire. This makes sense in the idea that when you become a vampire, you lose touch with your humanity, which in turn means that he sees it as difficult to maintain his relationship with her if she no longer has a grasp of the love that they have. Dr. Gordon gets to his coffin and prepares to jab a nice wooden stick into some Blacula heart. Only that's not Blacula...that's Vampire Tina.



I'll kill a bunch of cops, but I sure as hell ain't fucking a corpse.

Heartbroken by the loss of his love, Blacula decides that the only thing he can do is drag himself up to the sunlight to kill himself, possibly reuniting himself with her in the afterlife. It ends with his rotting maggot-infested corpse, which is fitting for the horror aspect, but not so much to the actual substance of the film. I will say that it looked pretty damn real.

Many critics seem to hate on this film because it's not scary and basically slaps the black culture into a well-known tale, but I don't think one should honestly expect chills from a film called Blacula. It may have its insertions of funk and soul, but its much less about the blaxploitation bit than it is about Mamuwalde getting back the old flame that he lost. I will admit that the relationship wasn't fleshed out enough, but I can't expect such grandeur from a film with what appears to be a shoestring budget. Plus it made a considerable attempt to create an interesting human-vampire dynamic, showing that as long as a human can control themselves from the urges that comes with being a vampire, they can be very nice. At the very least, one should enjoy the 70s tint that gives way to awkward fighting and bizarre humor along with the performance of Williams Marshall. Quite honestly, it's a damn shame that he hasn't been on-screen more, aside from being the King of Cartoons. The world can never have enough of the pontificating baritone badass, and he fit that title perfectly. So I say check it out, it's certainly one of the easier blaxploitation films to find.

The album art brilliantly depicts London in the aftermath of the next Ice Age... along with some other weird shit.

Radiohead are one of those tragic cases of bands with an amazing repertoire of music who are only known to the general public as "the band who does *top hit*". If you grabbed some random Joe Schmo off the street and asked them, "Quick, what do you know about the band Radiohead?", chances are, most of them are going to answer "Oh, I really enjoy that song, 'Creep'." Now I have nothing against that song (in fact, it's probably one of the better songs off of the band's rather lackluster debut, Pablo Honey), but it is by no means the best representation of Radiohead's music. In fact, everything after their debut has been cited as some of the best alternative rock music (or just plain music) of the past 20 years.

/mu/ also follows this consensus. People on /mu/ bring up Radiohead a shit ton, lumping praise after praise on all of their post-Pablo Honey albums (save for The King of Limbs, which has generated more of a mixed opinion) and making jokes about their eccentric frontman, Thom Yorke. Not only is Radiohead's follow-up to Pablo Honey, The Bends, on the /mu/ essentials list, but they have two - check 'em, two - albums labelled as /mu/core: OK Computer and Kid A. Well, shit, thought I upon first noticing this, Radiohead must be quite interesting. Up until that point, I had fallen under that crowd of people who only really knew "Creep", so I had expected some more emotionally-heavy britpop. So, I figure, what better place to start than OK Computer, hailed by several critics as one of the best rock albums of the 1990's? Boy, was I in for a surprise.

Before sharing my opinion on it, however, a little back story  for those not in the know. Radiohead is an English band initially formed in 1985 as On a Friday, as due to the band members' schedules, they could only rehearse on Fridays. It was not until 1991, when all of the members had gotten university degrees, when the band finally got serious, recording demos and playing many live gigs. This eventually attracted the attention of EMI, who signed the band to their Parlophone label. At the label's request, the band changed their name to Radiohead. Although between 1992 and 1993, they put out their Drill EP, Pablo Honey, and several singles, they were met with limited success in Britain. However, they caught on in America due to heavy MTV rotation of "Creep". Soon, they were successful (much to Thom Yorke's chagrin, as he hated the celebrity image he was projecting) and recorded a followup album, The Bends, which was released in 1995 to critical acclaim. The album showed a clear shift in direction, with a greater use of keyboards and ethereal guitar riffs. The band would further pursue this direction in 1996, when they went to St. Catherine's Court to record and hired Neil Godrich for the first time to produce their third album. This album, OK Computer, was released in 1997 and was instantly a smash hit across the globe, earning Radiohead its first Grammy for Best Alternative Album and debuting at number 1 on the British charts. Since its release, major publications such as Rolling Stone and Pitchfork have listed it as one of the greatest albums of all time and it has been credited as the album that killed Britpop (though really, I blame the Gallagher brothers with that, because fuck them). That being said, what do I think of it? Is it really as amazing as people claim it to be?


Radiohead, circa 1997, L-R: Phil Selway, Thom Yorke, Johnny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien, Colin Greenwood

The answer is yes. Fuck yes. OK Computer amazed me on my first listen, and that was before it all really started to sink in. After listening to the songs several times, I began to realize just how much of a sonic masterpiece this album really was. Not only that, but I also began to realize that this was truly a stunning album lyrically. Really, though, I know I won't convince you by just blanketing this album with generalizations, so let me further explain.

Almost immediately, the album opens with the groaning guitar of lead guitarist Johnny Greenwood accompanied by sleigh bells. Then, the drums burst in with great intensity and lay down beats like clockwork. In the meantime, bassist Colin Greenwood plucks away at a segmented bass line that is unconventional and Thom Yorke sings of being back to save the universe. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Airbag", the opening track of the album, an ethereal song blanketed by a haze of layered guitars. With a count-off of four blips, the song segues into "Paranoid Android", one of Radiohead's better known non-"Creep" songs. It is something of a "Bohemian Rhapsody" for the post-Cold War world; the song cycles through three distinct sections: a primarily acoustic section, a menacing section in which Johnny Greenwood bursts in with a strong solo, and a slower section  with a cascade of vocals courtesy of Thom Yorke. In the meantime, Yorke sings of paranoia and the growing interference and regimentation of technology which were both common in the 1990's. The result is something that is quite brilliant. However, these two tracks are only a glimpse preview of the voyage that is to come.

The album's third track, "Subterranean Homesick Alien" returns to a more ethereal tone, with lyrics about alien abduction and electronic piano creating a cosmic atmosphere. Next, there is "Exit Music (For a Film)", which, as you may gather, was indeed in a film - 1996's Romeo + Juliet, to be exact. It is not really a love song, but more of a somber reflection of unrequited love, a desperate wish to hold on to everything that is falling apart around one's life driven by an acoustic guitar and later, heavily compressed bass and drums. The next song, "Let Down", is a cheery-sounding song at first, but really, looking at the lyrics, it is how one observing the modern world feels so isolated by it all and that emotions towards these things are fake. The final song of the first half of OK Computer, "Karma Police", is another one of the band's well-known songs outside of "Creep". Stemming from an inside joke in the band and borrowing a chord progression from "Sexy Sadie", the song is centered around acoustic guitar and piano. After two repeats of the unusual verse-bridge format, the song goes into space and is surrounded by a variety of electric noises while Thom Yorke says how he's lost himself before it all comes to an end with a harsh repeated noise generated by a feedback loop. Almost immediately after, the album transitions into "Fitter, Happier", a spoken-word piece performed by the Macintosh SimpleText program. Although it starts out with a promising message, it slowly degenerates (as the background noises grow more dreary) into proof of how regimented modern life has become. Have you noticed a trend yet, folks?


Hint: It's not unicorns and rainbows.

To release the rage built up by the previous track, the band launches into the most overtly-political, hard rock song on the album, "Electioneering". For its sound, it's considered the oddball on the album by many critics, but I myself have come to accept it for what it is, even if it's not as brilliantly crafted as the rest of the songs on the album. After this, we have "Climbing Up the Walls", an extremely off-putting song made creepy by the St. Anger-esque drum sound, the unusual orchestral arrangement, and Thom Yorke's lyrics describing insanity and his screeches at the end. The insanity of this then dissolves into the depressingly-cheery "No Surprises". Much like "Let Down", the song centers around an angelic electric guitar riff while being accompanied by glockenspiel and acoustic guitar. Under the surface, though, Thom Yorke sings about a man collapsing to the pressures of the modern world with a hauntingly beautiful delivery. Next, we have a song previously released on a charity album in 1995 to help the kids in Bosnia and Herzegovina during the conflict in Yugoslavia, "Lucky". It was a clear indicator of the sound Radiohead would take with this album, with a three-piece guitar arrangement, haunting keyboards, and lyrics about a guy surviving a plane crash. The album ends on a more relaxed note with a track penned by Johnny Greenwood, "The Tourist", with lyrics attacking the fast life that many people in the 1990's tended to live, Radiohead included. A haunting waltz sort of song, it has a constant build that finally concludes with the guitar and bass dropping out and the song ending with a bell tone.

This album is just... Wow. The music is absolutely brilliant. Layers of guitars, keyboards, and electronic noises combine to create a flurry of sound that is very much representative of the Information Age. There is not a moment on this album where I can say that any of the music is too overblown or pretentious (with possibly exception to "Electioneering"), and it all fits well with the lyrics. That's another thing too, the lyrics. If you haven't figured it out already, OK Computer is an attack on post-Cold War society, pointing out the increased paranoia, isolation, and utter confusion caused by the rise of computers and other technology. Rather than attacking poverty, it attacks excess made possible in the 1990's. In a sense, it's an accurate prediction of what 21st century life, with the War on Terror and the advent of social media websites like Facebook and Twitter, would be like as well.


"Just gotta invite 10 more of my friends to visit my farm and then I'll have enough money to buy that new skin for my tractor..."

The musical prowess of the band is also made evident on this album. Johnny Greenwood, the lead guitarist of the band, is well known for his aggressive manner of playing, often dubbed "abusive guitar", and it definitely shows. On songs like "Paranoid Android" and "Electioneering", you can hear the strain and power exerted by Greenwood with his electric guitar. However, he also takes a more subdued approach on other songs, like "No Surprises" and "Let Down" and rightfully so, as it makes them all the more beautiful. Being the only member of the band who was versed in music theory, he also arranged all of the string parts heard on the album. Ed O'Brien, the other guitarist of Radiohead, brings similar chops to the table, his most noteworthy contribution perhaps being the harsh noises at the end of "Karma Police". The rhythm section, composed of Colin Greenwood on bass and Phil Selway on drums, is also solid, sometimes getting complex along with the guitar and other times keeping a quieter presence. Thom Yorke, the lead vocalist of the band, delivers the lyrics with a rather low register in most songs, yet can go higher to emphasize points as seen in songs like "Subterranean Homesick Alien" and "Karma Police". His tone is somewhat verging on monotone in some cases, but in an album which criticizes the droll, regimented life of the 1990's, this is perfectly acceptable.

Overall, OK Computer is a perfect commentary on the horrors of modern life and a sonic adventure. The music is ethereal some of the time and tense the next, never shifting into a comfortably consistent style. The lyrics brilliantly expose modern life for what it is - wrought with paranoia, greed, hopelessness, and without soul. The musical prowess is nothing to glance over as well, as the band members are extremely versatile in their delivery, yet never deliver in a manner that seems too overblown or ridiculous. I would heavily recommend this album to anyone who loves rock music, concept albums, or is seeking to get more into 90's rock music. It is, indeed, a shining gem of 1990's British rock, and I can certainly understand why many people around the world, /mu/ included, regard it as one of the greatest albums of all time.

Crazy Luigi: Hello!

MASTERFURRYX: hi

Crazy Luigi: So how about we get an interview going on?

MASTERFURRYX: I cant I need to sleep

Crazy Luigi: So, later sounds good?

MASTERFURRYX: maybe

Crazy Luigi: Alright, I can wait.

MASTERFURRYX would later on fly off to his home planet in Star Fox, where he has sex with Krystal and watches Two & A Half Show every day.

Crazy Luigi would die three days after making that bold statement.

"Hello, fine folks of YouChew. This is the Writing Staff here to ask you some questions. No, this isn't a pop quiz, and this isn't some survey you fill out either, but rather it's somewhat of an opportunity, for both you and for us. You more than likely have noticed the Writing Staff articles as least once or twice in your time here on YouChew (or, at least, we would hope you have), but to be honest, as of late our articles are getting less readership than they used to, with declining numbers seeming to be the trend. We're not saying this is because of you guys, because it's plain and simple that people aren't going to read something that they're not interested in, nobody could blame you for not checking out and commenting on an article about how cucumbers are grown.

Readership isn't exactly important to us in the same way it would be to a newspaper or an online magazine, because we volunteer for this job out of our own passion for writing and the subjects that we write about. However, our audience is still important to us. One of the best things about writing is the way that it strikes emotions in people and entertains the reader, and that's what we strive for. Plus, without you guys reading what we write, there would be no point to the Writing Staff in the first place! We as writers want to give you guys a better reading experience, and to do that, we've realized that we're going to need to know what it is that you, the readers, really want out of us.

If it wouldn't be too much trouble for you all, please take the time to post below about how we, the Writing Staff, could better your experience with us. Are there particular articles that you would like to see from us, maybe of a certain subject or genre? Do you think we make too much of a particular type of article for your liking? Is there a particular part about some of our articles that you don't like, such as the titles or the the number of pictures? We're more than open to any other kind of suggestions you, the community, might have as well.

Of course, it's not always going to be possible to make the articles that you guys like the most, but we will try our best to make more types of articles that you're looking forward to, in addition to the articles you already love.

Thank you for your time! - The Writing Staff

P.S. If you are having trouble coming up with something off of the top of your head, here are some general questions from us that we would like answered:
- What do you think of Photopoop/The Photopoop Contest? Would you like to see it more, less, or disappear altogether?
- What do you think about our ratio of humorous articles to serious ones?
- What kinds of games/movies/other media do you like, or like to read about, the most? Are we forcing too much Pokemon down your throats yet?"

"Who needs drugs when you have madanonymous?"
- A Youtube user

As hard as it may be to believe, originality is very hard to come by in poops. For a form of expression that came out of such a novel idea – messing and mixing with existing sources through clever editing – Youtube Poop still hasn’t broken out of the patterns of imitation and formula. For every mind-bending RAPX video or new career turn by Deepercutt, there are at least a thousand Spongebob poops aping SantaWithTeeth, five hundred King of the Hill poops trying to make something Durham-style, and too many CD-I spadinner videos to even count. Even if the sources change, the pooping styles don’t change all that much, so the average Youtube browser has to deal with an excess of Youtube poops that are only distinguishable by their names (and sometimes not even those).

Believe me, I’m not calling for another war on AIDS. No source can be used so much as to ruin any future poop that might use it, and no pooper can really claim to have a 100% original style. To do that, s/he’d have to get rid of all sentence mixing, video filters, ear rape, Vegas acid visuals, WMM stutters, and repetition – and who wants to watch a poop without a single one of those qualities? (I’m not going to answer that question.) Maybe it’s wrong to criticize poops for being formulaic when that formula does yield some great videos and provide a framework for a host of uploaders who’d otherwise have no clue what to do.

After a while, though, the “poop monotony” does get to you. Nothing is really changing right now. No one is striking out and trying to do something new; everyone’s satisfied with the status quo, whether that status quo accounts for page views, subscribers, or actual poop quality. True, smaller poopers have always “followed the leader,” but today, with a dearth of output from the YouChew community, those followers have become the leaders. We are treated to an assortment of poops that don’t differ as much as their makers would like you to think. “Bubble buddy slaughters his victims without pity or remorse” begets “Dying to lie,” which begets “Spingebill’s First Weird Christmas.” It’s like Youtube poop itself is stuttering on a loop, repeating the same things that might have been funny or interesting earlier, but stopped being either a while ago. Poop may not be dead, but it sure is stagnant.

This climate makes one wish that madanonymous was more active. Madanonymous is one of the few poopers whom I’d unashamedly call a “poop original,” a talented editor and stylist with a clear vision and an incredibly capacity for creativity. Even if madanonymous didn’t invent any of his pooping techniques, or didn’t truly make the “weirdest” poops, no one can deny the uniqueness of his videos. Madanonymous traffics in trippy surrealism, bizarre pop culture references, exploitation of sound and vision, and unexpected uses of the staple CD-I cut scenes. One can clearly tell a madanonymous video when s/he sees one, but the pooper keeps his output varied enough for his videos to be wholly unpredictable. By wringing strange new entertainment out of overused poop sources, madanonymous has left an indelible mark on the world of poop.

For a user who semi-regularly responds to comments on his videos, madanonymous is kind of mysterious. His Youtube channel shows that he joined in 2006, he lives in Djibouti, and he’s learned how to screw with channel rules (the page is called snoɯʎuouɐpɐɯ). His profile only offers a single quote, “the rose has teeth in the mouth of the beast,” which happens to be the name of a Matmos album. That same album features a song dedicated to Patricia Highsmith, who also gets a mention in one of madanonymous’ videos (“Patricia Highsmith feeds salt to her pet snails”). I’m not sure what any of this means, but if anything, the mystery surrounding the pooper only compounds the incredible strangeness of his poops.

The strangeness begins with the visuals. Trippy visuals have been the cornerstone of every madanonymous poop, as well as his most recognizable technique. This early video, “the pit,” shows his style at its most basic. Ganon’s appearance is warped just barely outside of recognition, with a variety of Vegas (or Premiere) effects in play: wavy, gray scale, screen shifting at an angle, lens flare, psychedelic colors, and (of course) mirroring. A little bit of audio editing makes his voice warbly (“NoOoOoO, not into the pit, it BuUuUuUuUurns…”) Other early videos like “three witches create a dimensional rip” go by the same pattern. Technically it’s not very impressive, as it’s mainly just random effects slapped on a cut scene, but it lays the groundwork for more (and better) videos to come.

Madanonymous doesn’t exclusively use CD-i sources – he takes from British TV, obscure genre films, and webcams – but his CD-i poops show his evolution the best. For some time, madanonymous put the trippiness on hold to make more “conventional” poops, like “gwonam gets the address wrong” and “how link wound up in the mirror.” These poops again used the CD-I cut scenes, but were more story-based; “how link wound up in the mirror,” for example, tells a bizarre story about Link eloping with a Barbie. At one point Gwonam asks where Link is and the King replies “Don’t you have him?” “No.” At another point the mirror lady begins “Oh, he was a…” and Zelda cuts her off saying “Stop talking whore.” He also used the whinefeld video fad for humor in “linkfeld” and “whinefeld,” and and made his closest thing to a YTPMV in “Gypsy Gwonam (He’s Houseless).”

These videos are enjoyable, probably because they make fun of CD-i Zelda in relatively new ways. Still, they could be compared to similar works by Moto200 and even nintendobrad (at times). Madanonymous hadn’t found his niche yet; he was trying different things out, seeing what worked and what didn’t. After this period, sentence mixing went down and the improved visuals took its place. I think “l’eau de la fin du monde (cologne)” (for non-French speakers, that’s “water of the end of the world”) shows the beginning of the typical style: characters and backgrounds fading in and out of each other, bizarre and repetitive use of audio clips, and inventive coloring. It would be expanded upon.

What followed was a string of connected videos, each named after a character from the CD-i cut scenes. I thoroughly enjoy these poops, not just because I like laughing at CD-i Zelda, but because madanonymous finds such inventive ways to tweak the original clips into something nigh unrecognizable. “The King” finds three pitch-shifted kings laughing maniacally, “Zelda” turns Zelda’s flute into performances of “Oh Canada” and “Poker Face” between bouts of ear rape, and “Ganon” turns the villain into a dream, a car, a pop star, the sun, the moon, Captain Planet, the world, and someone who’s bad at pluralizing. “Gwonam” features a very funny joke concerning Gwonam’s hat and very clever manipulating of Gwonam’s body gestures. “Impa” interestingly makes a connection between Impa’s triforce and the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey, with creepy distortion of her features. “I wonder what it all means!” she says at the end. It’s hard not to feel the same way.

The strangeness didn’t even end there. “Jonathon Swift returns from the dead to eat a cheese sandwich” pretty much dares you to believe that the creator wasn’t taking drugs while he made it. (In all honesty, I think madanonymous is 100% clean.) The King grows a penis on his crown, Zelda’s face and a hundred sets of eyes appear on his own face, Impa grows the King’s head and shows scenes from It’s a Wonderful Life, some woman screams “MARJORIE!”, and Link gets blown up by fairies. It’s all rendered incredibly well, with creative uses of repositioning, layering, distortion, and chroma keying. Each character's transformation reflects a different visual style, with Link turned into some kind of wooden soldier at one point, and Impa made to look like her face is melting. A joke about the BP oil spill seals the whole deal, leaving one extremely strange poop behind.

Similar videos, like “Patricia Highsmith…” and “Doug Henning…” follow the same formula, in that they take a single cut scene and mess with it relentlessly. The former features Link disintegrating in front of a dancing black reverend, a bizarre façade reference, a strangely booby weatherwoman, and a scene where Gwonam is eaten by a cloud. The latter features an arguably disturbing edit: Mario reads Boswer’s ransom note, but with a human mouth mimicking his speech and eyes that go all over the place. At another point in the same video, Luigi’s head turns around 180 degrees, an incredible effect I still can’t wrap my head around. These are the most elaborate visual edits madanonymous has made, and they stand in fair contrast to anything like “the king” and “how link wound up in the mirror.” Madanonymous evolved, like any good pooper should.

Of course, some of his videos just defy description.

Like, what am I supposed to write about this?

Madanonymous might not be the best, weirdest, most influential, most consistent, or funniest pooper around, but his penchant for trippy, druggy visuals and matching humor mark him as a kind of poop original. Even someone who doesn’t care for these kinds of jokes can’t deny his editing and tweaking skills. Madanonymous has given us a bevy of enjoyable, re-playable Youtube poops with a large amount of effort put into them; in a way, we could all learn from his example.

Crazy Luigi's Pick: YTP - FUCKING MANIACS by brison/BrisonVids

Time and time again, the Angry Video Game Nerd has shown why he's still one of the most popular resources for YouTube Poop. With an interesting and entertaining way of talking about and reviewing video games, the AVGN has created some of the most classic video game reviews online with reviews on Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (Revisited), and quite recently, the Atari sports games. This YouTube Poop especially shows plans as to how that actually works, starting with its very first sentence. From there, it dives right into the interesting complex of awkward stutters and sentence mixing before finally going all out into a complete sense of mayhem. The parts that were sentence mixed end up being funny (Metallica is a pussy pop group!), while the stutters do show the limitations of the Atari 2600 and the interesting special effects found in the original video. When it comes to humor, sometimes all one really needs is a little simplicity in life, and this gives off how to do simplicity right.

Tofucakecan's Pick: Cereal Boy Thinks About Me In His Dreams by PrestoRoulletio

Say hello to an up-and-coming pooper who deserves your attention. I stumbled upon this little gem during Emperor Lemon's March Madness competition, and for lack of a better word, lets say I was "floored". Presto's style is of the newer "fast paced/brain rape" genre which might put some people off, but this video has that "certain something" that sets it apart. I found myself entranced by stutters, colors, and of course the ubiquitous sex jokes (see 0:22) which I'm not ashamed to admit I laughed at. It might be premature to say this (considering he only has four videos), but I think what differentiates Presto is that he's "a master of his style". Some brain rape poopers seem to be throwing in effects just for the sake of having effects and you're left scratching your head saying "okay, that's cool, but what's the point?" However with this video, every little bit feels like it is exactly where it belongs. Nothing is out of place, and his use of effects is genuinely funny. I especially loved the 0:26 mark where a mirror effect makes "cereal boy" look like he's making out with himself. Presto was on a six month hiatus before putting out this video, so I seriously hope he decides to keep making more. Top notch stuff here.

HerrVarden's Pick: VIVIAN LISTENS TO RED WHILE FUCKSTONE LOSES HIS HEAD

Lo and behold, Imaperson has come back from almost a year to bring forth his latest video. Imaperson really had his own style which could basically be described as hardcore pooping. It was always intended to be fast-paced, loud and violent, and by god it shines through. It's vaguely story-driven as we venture into the psyche of Vivian who has been listening to a King Crimson album entitled Red. What follows is a clusterfuck of multiple sources. What was interesting was seeing a cross of an imitator source and an actual source being melded together in a single poop. Like there's a bit of Seinfeld in the poop, but it mostly focuses on a parody of Seinfeld rather than the original, save for a few snippets. It's almost as if you're supposed to believe that this is a mental psychosis that is occurring inside of Vivian, which drives the poop to become far more spastic and surreal. What really got me was the including of everyone's favorite portly Bawstunian. It felt almost like a lost Avojaifnot story being turned into a video, and it really captured the pace and movement of Tennek's style. There's snippets of songs from the Red album inserted and possibly distorted to great effect. The ending was quite possibly the greatest ending to a YTP I've ever seen. The year's still young, but without a doubt, this is one of my favorite poops of 2013 so far.

Seems like Bob Ross painted his landscape on top of a 3rd grader's perspective painting...

As I stated in my recent review of Radiohead's OK Computer, that album was one of only two Radiohead albums to have been labelled /mu/core. Without further ado, let's dive into the other - Kid A.

With the rightful success of OK Computer, Radiohead was made world famous. They would end up embarking on a tour lasting from mid-1997 to late-1998 in support of the album. As the tour wore on, the band became more and more burnt out from all of the constant performances, interviews, and promotional events the band was expected to attend. Thom Yorke especially felt these pressures, suffering a mental breakdown during the tour. What's worse, he was suffering from a severe case of writer's block, leading to a style of writing more fragmented than his previous works. Tensions in the band were at an all-time high, with the band on the verge of breaking up. These tensions were the backdrop for the recording sessions that would eventually produce Kid A and its followup Amnesiac. After OK Computer, the band wanted to go in a new direction, but they all had different ideas as to what that would be. Eventually, they settled on a more electronic sound and slowly went to work recording throughout 1999 into early 2000. When they had finally finished, they had made about 30 new songs, 20 of which were saved for later albums so as to avoid a double album. The marketing for the album was rather unorthodox. No singles were released in promotion of Kid A, and most advertising was done on the still-primitive Internet. However, when it was released in October of 2000, it was a smash hit worldwide, giving Radiohead their first #1 debut on the American charts. Although fans and critics were initially confused about Radiohead's shift in direction, they soon came to regard it as a brilliant masterwork just like their past two albums, if not even more so. By the end of the decade, several publications had ranked Kid A as either the best album of the 00's or within the top three and ranked it higher than OK Computer in Greatest Albums of All Time lists. But could it really surpass something as brilliant as OK Computer?


A series of creepy online ads for Kid A, better known as "blips". Not only did Kid A sell well as a result, but so did the undergarment industry.

I'll admit, when I first learned about Kid A, I was a bit skeptical. See, up until last year, I was one of those kids who felt he was "born in duh rong generashun!!1! XD"; Anything that wasn't made with a guitar, I immediately viewed with suspicion. I felt that electronic music was tearing the music industry apart by allowing talentless hacks to create whatever they wanted to with the click of a button. Indeed, that may apply to some top 40 artists today. However, I was naive to think that all electronic music was made by lazy musicians who want a quick buck. I went into Kid A with mixed feelings. I loved Radiohead's previous output, sure, but how would they sound with electronic instruments? Could they still make an album as good as OK Computer without layers of ethereal guitar?

Right from the first five notes, it is clear that something has changed. The opening track, "Everything in Its Right Place" opens with a repeating, ascending scale from an electric piano played in 10/4 soon accompanied by Thom Yorke's vocals chopped up, looped, and reversed. Soon, a pulsating kick drum beat joins in as Yorke sings about how yesterday he woke up sucking a lemon.  As the track fades into the distance, we are greeted with the sound of a UFO entering Earth's atmosphere and a melody played on what sounds like a music box on "Kid A". Thom Yorke's vocals come through as though he were a robot as he sings about heads on sticks and ventriloquists whilst a pulsating groove is hammered out by a drum machine. This is definitely not the same band who made "Pop Is Dead".


Fun fact: Although Thom Yorke was in the coffin for the puposes of the music video, he really was dead on the inside.

But just as you start to get into the relaxing grooves of the first two songs, an electronic noise abruptly disrupts your thought process and soon after, a simple, distorted bassline and an actual drumbeat enters (yes, that's right, Radiohead still play instruments) for "The National Anthem". Them Yorke sings about how "everyone around here" is "so near" and "filled with fear", while the main bass theme is constantly built upon by an Ondes Martinot and an improvising brass section. Eventually, this organized chaos comes to an end with the brass section apparently entering a traffic jam while electronic noise flies off into space before sputtering out. The following track, "How to Disappear Copletely", while it looks to start up this chaos once more, soon gives in to the soft chords of an acoustic guitar (!!!). As Thom Yorke sings about how he is invisible to the world around him, the song constantly builds into a beautiful symphonic piece combining acoustic with electronic (with a string arrangement courtesy once more of Johnny Greenwood). After the song ends, we are met with a wall of processed guitar sounds known as "Treefingers", which, by itself, would be entirely pointless, but in the context of the album, it helps to transition us from the first half of the album to the second. The serene mood of this track is then disrupted by a primitive drumbeats accompanied by piercing electric guitar chords that introduce the track "Optimistic", the most rock-oriented track on the entire album. Although Thom Yorke sings that "you can try the best you can; the best you can is good enough", the chord progression of the song gives it a depressing atmosphere. At the end, the song devolves into a jam session between the band, accompanied by an electric piano, before cutting right into the hauntingly ethereal "In Limbo". Here, in front of a looping guitar riff, Yorke tells the listerners that they're "living in a fantasy" and how he's "lost at sea". The song then erodes into a mesh of electronic noise that flies off into the next song.

And, oh boy, what a song it is. "Idioteque", a song made up of an alternating electronic drum beat, a sampled 4-chord progression, and a variety of electronic noises, is one of the more simple tracks on the album, yet probably one of the more frantic and tight. Here, Thom Yorke launches into a diatribe on modern life, singing of warmongering ("Who's in a bunker, who's in a bunker"), entitlement ("Here, I'm allowed everything all of the time"), climate change ("Ice age coming, ice age coming"), and propaganda ("We're not scaremongering, this is really happening") in a more simplistic and direct way than expressed on any song in OK Computer. The result is perhaps one of the best tracks in Radiohead's career. However, all good things are bound to end at one point or another, and the electronic noise that ends the song soon segues into the comparatively calmer "Morning Bell", a song the band thought was so good, it warranted a second version (which was later released on Amnesiac). A 5/4 song driven by drum machine and electric piano, the lyrics are comparatively more calm than the previous track, with the exception of when Yorke requests his listeners to "cut the kids in half". As the song ends, the instruments cut away until only the bass line is left. Finally, the album reaches its closer track, "Motion Picture Soundtrack", which, as you may guess, was not included in a movie). It is perhaps the most raw track on the entire album, as you can actually hear the click of the pedals Thom Yorke is using on the organ. About midway through the song, the song fully blooms, introducing brilliant sampled harp melodies. All the while, Yorke sings heartbreaking lyrics about a love of his who was corrupted and comments that he will see her "in the next life". With that, the album concludes with the sound of harp melodies flittering aw-oh wait! There's a hidden track on this album, which is really a collection of sampled and electronic noises, one final summary of the direction Radiohead was heading.

When the album concluded, I was unsure of what to say. There were songs I felt were brilliant the first go-around, "The National Anthem", "How to Disappear Completely", and "Optimistic" being some of them while others, I didn't really get. However, upon repeated listens, it slowly sunk in, and it all came to me: the complexity, the layers of electronic notes building on the atmosphere, the simplicity and power of the lyrics, and the utter beauty. If OK Computer was a sonic adventure, this is a Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Seriously, from the smooth textures of synth, to the crisp drum beats, to the loud and wild brass, to the weird processed guitar chords that make up "Treefingers", there are tons of different sounds that grace your ears, each one unique in its own right. The music is also brilliantly composed, being able to express feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and hopelessness all from a few simple notes. Indeed, minimalism is the name of the game here, and it works brilliantly for both the music and the lyrics. The lyrics are, due to Thom Yorke's writer's block, rather fragmented and simple. However, in many ways, less is more. Once more, like OK Computer, a recurring theme of the album's lyrics is the failures of modern society. However, the use of repetition in these lyrics (mainly to fill up space, I figure) further reinforces the points made in each of these songs. Furthermore, their simple wording opens up the possibility for lyricists to take each song's meaning a different way. You see this, Jeff Mangum? This is how powerful lyrics are written. These simple lyrics combined with the more robotic, computerized elements of the album make the band's message of alienation and fear in a modern, technological society all the more potent.

The instrumentation of this album is subdued, and rightfully so. This time, there are no blistering solos courtesy of Johnny Greenwood. There are, in fact, few songs where acoustic or electric instruments take the stage. For the most part, it is all boiled down to electronics, synths, sequencers, and drum machines. Despite this, Radiohead still know how when to be reserved, when to go all out, when to be tight, when to be loose, and more with their music. With this album, I realized something important: It is not about how well you play an instrument, it is how well you write music. Sure, learning to play the guitar takes a whole hell of a lot more work than using programs like Fruity Loops or whatnot, but in the end, unless you can write music, you can't really do much with it outside of bad improvizations and playing simple chords. That is what makes the good electronic musicians (or really, any good musician) so good - they have an ear for music, and they know which notes go with which in a sequence and which ones don't. Yes, anyone can use a program like Fruity Loops, but it takes someone who knows music to create anything actually good with it, and brother, let me tell you, Radiohead know music. Using their several years of musical experience, they were able to craft their masterstroke out of instruments considered by many kids nowadays as cheap.

As a result of all of these factors, I believe Kid A is an even better album than OK Computer, and that statement is not made lightly. It is even more of a sonic masterwork than the previous album, combining layers of electronic synthesizers, traditional rock instruments, brass instruments, and samples to create something that is truly astounding. The lyrics, due to their minimalism, are able to better capture the hopelessness of the modern world and its future. Finally, the album shows how truly talented Radiohead are, being able to compose these fantastic pieces using instruments that many kids today consider inferior to electric and acoustic instruments. Truly, it is one of the most innovative albums of the past 20 years for its successful combination of rock and electronic music. In fact, its innovative sound set the bar so high in rock music that Radiohead could no longer reach it. Their following album, Amnesiac, which was made up mostly of the leftover tracks from the Kid A sessions was (for the most part) just that - a bunch of leftovers from Kid A. They tried once more in 2003 with Hail to the Thief, another album attacking modern society, but at this point, it was clear that this theme had run its course and sounded more forced than ever. As a result, Radiohead have since stopped fucking around with concept albums and have returned to more simple themes, like love, on their most recent albums, the magnificent In Rainbows and the misunderstood King of Limbs. It's a damn shame too, to be perfectly honest; with many of the themes of OK Computer and Kid A still present and, in fact, more relevant today, the world needs another OK Computer or Kid A. Hopefully, Radiohead can still provide, because Muse sure as hell can't.

Through my 30+ year career in journalism, I have seen films that go above and beyond the call of duty as far as quality is concerned. Conversely, I have also seen films that are bottom-of-the-barrel, low-quality shlock. For example, you may have recalled in my review of Norbit where I praised the film's unique mixture of brash and sweet humor and Eddie Murphy's refined self-insult comedy aesthetic that improves on the extremely flawed Dave Chappelle formula. I'm still surprised to see that so many of Norbit's qualities were never exploited in mainstream cinema. People still write down uninspired, flawed, and corny "arthouse" films like Night and Day, Badlands, and Adaptation as amongst the best in cinema. Because of this, I was tempted to announce that this is a reason why the relatively new medium of film has a long way to go before it can be considered art, but last week, while I was sipping on my Taster's Choice (the finest in supermarket coffee) during my morning routine, I stumbled upon a film that impressed me. Before I can introduce you to this specific film, I have to talk about the director.



Coleman Francis, born 1919 in Oklahoma, is what I want to consider the all-American auteur. Surpassing the juvenile and pretentious Orson Welles in terms of artistic importance, Coleman's brief film career helped change cinema in how students of aesthetics see it. Through his use of minimalist plot devices, the concept of paranoia that people like Hideo Kojima and David Fincher have tried to convey with absolutely no success, and the symbolic motif of coffee (the mundane drive of American life), Francis brought the art of film to a new level. His films codified film as an art, not as a medium striving to be an art. Despite most films today being disposable and devoid of art, films like Red Zone Cuba, The Skydivers, and my film of choice, The Beast of Yucca Flats, remind me why I have devoted my life to the wonders of cinema.


"The best shot I have seen in any film," said Orson Welles.

The Beast of Yucca Flats, incorrectly written off as an exploitation film capitalizing on the heightened hysteria of the Cold War, is a very brief film by 1960s standards - 54 minutes - that efficiently communicates the consequences of scientific progress, the eventual decay of humanity from the enlightened ones into non-autonomous animals, and how the everyman factors into this nightmare. If it weren't for cable-television hucksters Michael Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Trace Beaulieu making a total mockery of this masterpiece in their insipidly unfunny and unartistic showcase Mystery Science Theater 3000, then people would recognize it as the masterpiece it was. I've faced opposition suggesting this film to the Sight and Sound poll of 2012 - when I turned in my list, those clinically academic excuses of critics laughed at my proposal that The Beast of Yucca Flats might be one of the highlights of 1960s cinema. However, I should not attack them - critics do not criticize colleagues, after all.


You got what you deserved, Mr. Ebert. How dare you violate the big rule of film critics.

In terms of philosophy, The Beast of Yucca Flats delves into the concept of autonomy and societal progress. The everyman figure, scientist Joseph Javorsky, played in full form by underrated thespian Tor Johnson, tries to keep his sanity within a world embroiled in espionage-related conflict. However, an atomic explosion goes off and strips the scientist of his autonomy, turning him into a mindless beast. The film then focuses on his pained journey as he tries to recapture his intelligence without realizing that he's been stripped of it. The audience relates to Joseph in the sense that they know the pain that he's feeling - all the people he mindlessly kills. They've been there before - they've done things that they couldn't control because they were in the middle of conflict. Where does this conflict stem from? The debilitating throes of scientific progress, states the narrator throughout the film. It's because of the Space Race and the Soviet's "flag on the moon" that Javorsky has no autonomic processes. He has no free will - he mindlessly walks around the minimalist, empty Yucca Flats, becoming more and more animalistic with each passing second.


The start cinematography puts us in his shoes.

Scientific progress is another topic the film excels at exploring throughout its near-hour running time. While the consequences of scientific progress have been explored in modern films, it either comes out heavy-handed like Inception or stereotypical like Moon, a film people only like because David Bowie's mentally challenged son helmed the project. In The Beast of Yucca Flats, Coleman efficiently shows how scientific progress is bad in terms of its impact on society: it's empty, much like the flats featured in the film. It makes you live as if you were in an eternal fantasy, much like the scene where the father figure runs away from a cropduster a la North by Northwest. Most importantly, it turns you into the mindless monster that Javorsky's gifts have turned him into. This film convinced me that scientific progress was debilitating to society. Even though I'm typing my review on a Mac and drinking lemonade I made in my Sodastream, I have decided to pursue Luddism due to Coleman Francis' excellent thesis on the negative consequences of scientific progress.


This is what science does to you.

One of the bigger themes of the film I have noticed is how media influences others - how nobody has no personal identity that they can call their own besides the one they learned from others, from media, or from those agent-provocateurs that I call the Cinematic Nihilists. The ones who hate American culture the most are the ones who undoubtedly make America follow in its footsteps, thereby trying to figure out a new path to take and starting the cycle all over again. People like Tarantino and Fincher who have written a hypernovel's worth of clumsy satire targeting America end up becoming the face of American culture. Francis criticizes that in detail with The Beast of Yucca Flats, showing how horrible the process is to the natural intellectualism of the medium. The fact that cinematic nihilists have turned Javorsky from well-respected scientist to mindless beast saddens me. This happens everywhere within our established American culture. People like Michael Bay turn from innovators of kinetic cinema into these tiresome, racist, and misogynistic filmmakers who make everything for the anti-intellectuals. It's all because of the cinematic nihilism - they couldn't understand Bay's vision, so they made him degenerate into the mindless rapist-beast that Tor Johnson excellently plays.

I have a feeling that Javorsky is a symbol of everything wrong with cinematic nihilism - why having mindless concerns about the medium will turn promising directors into self-parodies. In that case, The Beast of Yucca Flats turns from a cautionary tale about Cold War brinkmanship into a full-on criticism of media in general. The way we mimic everything from the movies to the way we act around others - it's all defined by the media. Give me one media property that has dealt with this crisis of personal identity in a respectful manner. Why I won't choose Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty or its derivative and boggled-down sequel, Snake Eater, is because I find them to be very inefficient properties that sacrifice the depths of their stories for gameplay. I personally believe that video games cannot be art - interacting with art ruins the purpose of art, which is to observe it and to give anything remotely contrarian undying praise. Besides, Japanese people cannot naturally deal with metaphysical issues. They're too busy making propaganda against America, as seen in films like Oldboy and last year's Rashomon.


He doesn't look like he could handle the simplest of complex philosophy.

In conclusion, The Beast of Yucca Flats is an incredible masterpiece that taught me how amazing cinema is and why I should consider it art. Through its excellent themes, it rises above its cheap aesthetic and turns into a masterpiece alongside Casablanca and Detour when it comes to film noir. Double Indemnity? That was directed by a Nazi sympathizer! Something like The Beast of Yucca Flats is truly objective when it comes to hard-hitting cinema of the 1960s. Now, if you'll excuse, I'm off to have dinner with Piero Scaruffi, Doug Walker, and Phil Fish. We're eating at the most respected of American institutions: Arby's.

Go Green: A Case for Marijuana

Disclaimer - The following article is an opinion piece and is not meant to be taken as legal or medical advice.  Marijuana laws vary depending on your location.  Those who chose to consume cannabis do so at their own risk.  Youchew is not liable for your actions.  


The majority of the Youtube Poop community has probably never seen Brian De Palma’s 1987 crime epic “The Untouchables” simply by virtue of its age. In my opinion however, this is not only a movie that people should see, it’s a movie that deserves induction into the Library of Congress for its cultural relevancy. Some people have seen this movie simply because they were fans of Brian De Palma, or because of the all star cast featuring Kevin Costner, Robert De Niro, and Sean Connery. But rather than delving into the virtues of its writing, cast, or cinematography, consider the film for its historical aspects. “The Untouchables” is based on a 1957 novel written by the lead character Eliot Ness. The story is an autobiographical account of his work as a federal agent during the Prohibition era. For those who aren’t yet familiar with Prohibition, suffice it to say it’s a period in US history that most would consider “a mistake”. From 1920 to 1933, the sale of alcohol was illegal thanks to the “Volstead Act” (despite being vetoed by President Wilson). Ness was charged with enforcing a law that the majority of the country did not support. Though he was technically the “good guy”, he was more like the hall monitor in high school telling guys not to make out with their girlfriends between classes. To make things more difficult, he had to deal with the organized crime element led by Al Capone who made sure everyone who wanted to drink could, and where there’s organized crime, police corruption is sure to follow. Lots of money was spent fighting the production of alcohol, and the costs were heavy on both sides. Prohibition continued to lose supporters as time went by, and eventually alcohol production was legalized again in 1933.

Why am I opening an article about marijuana by discussing alcohol? Because those who don’t understand history are doomed to repeat it, and as you may have guessed, history is repeating itself. Alcohol may be free of prohibition, but the mistakes of the past are being repeated via marijuana prohibition, and people are paying the price for it in all sorts of ways. Now more than ever, our country needs a serious, nationwide reform of cannabis laws. There are so many potential benefits that could translate into huge windfalls for the government if we could just get over the stigma that continues to plague everyone’s favorite plant. So on this April 20^th, sit back, relax, smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em, and lets talk pot.

Don’t be Afraid of the Ganja!
If you had told me 20 years ago that I would be writing an editorial in favor of marijuana legalization one day, I would have laughed in your face and told my mom on you. I remember taking a vow to be “drug free” in first grade, and thinking “I’ll just say no, and never do drugs”. The Regan era which I grew up in was waging the “War on Drugs” and programs like D.A.R.E. were scaring kids straight all across the country (me included). Let us fast forward to the first time I got high smoking weed. I wasn’t thinking about how I was breaking the law.  I wasn’t thinking about how disappointed my parents would be if they could see. I wasn’t thinking about how I had broken a promise to myself never to do any drugs. What was I thinking?  “Why the hell is this illegal?” All my life I was taught to fear marijuana. It was supposed to be this awful substance that would surely ruin all aspects of my life, but it didn’t feel awful at all. For the most part I felt happy and relaxed. I think I was also really impressed by how the room suddenly seemed bigger too. Then I ripped into a bag of Gummi Savers.    

In my opinion, marijuana is one of the most vilified and misunderstood substances on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely dangers that can come from smoking, but most of the “dangers” get blown way out of proportion. Some of the rumors perpetuated by the Office of National Drug Control Policy hold very little real truth and deserve some examination.


Myth – Marijuana is a gateway drug
People love to scapegoat. For those in favor of prohibition, this is usually the “go to” reason used to keep the plant illegal. The idea that marijuana use will lead to harder drug use is older than dirt, and it’s easy to see how it caught on because so many people who do harder drugs (cocaine, heroin, etc.) have used marijuana before. It should come as no surprise that most people who have done harder drugs have also smoked cigarettes or consumed alcohol in their lives, yet these substances rarely ever get the “gateway drug” label applied to them. Using the same logic, we could even brand “McDonalds” a gateway drug since probably every obese person on the planet has had the golden arches once in their lives.

But as we learned in math class, correlation doesn’t necessarily imply causation. The numbers alone disprove the gateway theory when you consider that in a 2009 survey, almost 60% of people surveyed admitted to trying marijuana within the last year, but the combined total of people who tried heroin and cocaine for the first time was less than 1% of those surveyed. In addition, there are more and more reputable studies coming out each year that disprove the gateway theory. Most instead favor the explanation that a person’s environment or individual circumstances are much better predictors of who is likely to try harder drugs. For example, a person living in the slums of Chicago, Illinois and has divorced parents is much more likely to try harder drugs than someone who lives in a three story house in Greenwich, Connecticut and is on the honor roll.

To really understand where the gateway theory comes from, it is important to consider why the numbers of people who have tried pot are so high compared to other drugs. Many articles on this topic mention teenagers who say it is easier for them to get a hold of pot than it is to get alcohol or cigarettes. I believe that (ironically) marijuana is easier for a teen to get because IT IS illegal.  Consider this - If someone wants to get into the business of selling alcohol or tobacco, there are endless hoops to jump through and regulations to follow, and of course taxes to pay. In turn, this legalization and regulation not only make it harder for minors to get tobacco and alcohol, it also makes these substances less appealing to would be “dealers” because the potential profit margin of selling to minors will never outweigh the risk. I mean seriously, how often do you hear of a drug dealer who sells alcohol and cigarettes?  So for a 16 year old, I hypothesize that it’s far easier to find a friend who has some weed for sale than to bribe someone they don’t know into selling them some alcohol (or buying it for them).  

There are many other possible explanations for the high numbers, but they do suggest marijuana use is far more accepted/tolerated than it was fifty years ago, and the more it is studied the less legitimacy the “gateway theory” holds.


Myth - Marijuana Has No Medicinal Value
Before I delve into this myth, a little background on how the US government classifies controlled substances like marijuana. The Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) has five “schedules” numbered I-V which they use to classify drugs/controlled substances based on potential for abuse/dependence, currently accepted medical uses, and overall safety/health risks of the drug. Schedule I substances are generally considered the most dangerous and usually have the harshest penalties for offenders, whereas schedule V substances could be considered the “least dangerous” of the bunch. Commonly abused recreational drugs such as heroin or methamphetamine appear in schedule I while Schedule II has many drugs that are commonly prescribed for pain such as morphine, opium, and oxycodone. Schedules III-V are mostly drugs that the average person has never heard of.  The guidelines for classifying a drug are vague and open to interpretation of those making the laws, but the main distinction between schedules I and II is that schedule II substances have accepted medical uses.

So where does marijuana fit into the DEA schedules?  It’s in schedule I. That’s right. Despite the fact marijuana that is legal for medical use in nineteen states and has been used in treatment for a variety of conditions (including glaucoma, Alzheimer’s disease, multiple sclerosis, cancer, opioid dependence, and chronic pain to name a few), in the mind of the US government it has no medical value. Am I the only one that sees a hole in this argument? Now I’m not saying that weed can cure any of the above conditions, but there is concrete evidence to support the idea that marijuana can be used for medical purposes, and the list of possible uses grows as we continue to study it.

Cannabis was first classified as schedule I in 1970 at the recommendation of Roger O Egeberg who at the time was the “Assistant Secretary of Health”. In his recommendation he basically said that not enough was known about marijuana at the time to make a truly informed decision about its scheduling, so it should provisionally be classified as a schedule I substance. Forty two years later, and every attempt to reschedule marijuana (including attempts as recent as 2012) has been blocked, vetoed, or otherwise ignored by the government. The reasons will vary depending on who you ask, but it does make you wonder why people with no medical background (politicians) are passing judgment on the medicinal value of cannabis.

On a side note… anyone wanna guess what schedule cocaine falls under? Well because of its limited medical use, cocaine is a schedule II substance, and in the minds of some people this classification sends the message that cocaine is somehow less dangerous than marijuana. Some of you might even be asking yourselves “what classification(s) do alcohol and tobacco fall under?” Well these two substances, which are generally considered more harmful with a higher risk for dependence than marijuana, aren’t even a part of the controlled substances act. They’re exempt. I personally find this particularly disturbing when you consider how many diseases can be linked to tobacco smoke. Not to mention, alcohol addiction can be so extreme that there are documented cases of addicts dying from withdrawal effects. If the government gives adults the choice to consume potentially deadly products such as these as much as they want, it presents a huge, glaring hypocrisy for them to continuously ignore the growing evidence which supports medical marijuana uses. Our society trusts people to be responsible about their tobacco and alcohol use. Why could we not extend that same trust to adult cannabis smokers?


Prohibition is the problem, not the solution.
It seems like a logical solution - if something is a problem, just ban it and tell people that it’s bad for them. But when your mom brought home a bag of Chips Ahoy and told you to wait until after dinner to have one, did you always listen to her? There are legitimate reasons for the prohibition of many drugs, and you’ll never find me writing an essay in support of meth or heroin legalization. But when a small minority of elected officials prohibit something that the majority of the population wants legalized, problems are inevitably going to arise.

This is where my reference to “The Untouchables” comes back into play.  When Alcohol was made illegal, the demand didn’t just disappear. New problems arose when people who didn’t know anything about making liquor started brewing their own. Organized crime elements moved in to meet the demand. Law enforcement had to create new teams to enforce the laws. Each new problem brings in its own subset of problems while the original intent of the law gets lost in the flood. Prohibition didn’t reduce the number of people who drank, just as prohibiting marijuana has done nothing to reduce consumption. And just as it was in the twenties, the same problems that plagued the prohibition era have returned.

During the prohibition era, when people couldn’t buy liquor, some would resort to making their own liquor in whatever ways they had learned. As you can imagine, with no regulation, people could put basically anything they wanted in the alcohol, and there were documented cases of people developing blindness or paralysis as a result of drinking various incarnations of “moonshine”.  These days, the production of any kind of alcohol is heavily regulated to ensure purity and safety and people don’t have to fear the possibility of adulterants in their beers or whiskey and this is thanks to government regulation.

Similarly, if you’ve visited a smoke shop any time in the last three to five years, you’ve probably seen a variety of products that have been dubbed “spice” or “herbal incense”. These products are to cannabis what bathtub gin was to alcohol. They appear on the market as a “legal” alternative to weed, and they exploit loopholes in the law in order to stay on the shelves and avert prosecution. As you can imagine they have been the source of much controversy. Each bag/container is labeled with a disclaimer that says “not for human consumption”. Likewise, if you were to ask a store clerk what they are for, you’ll most likely get a very vague explanation of what they are.  You might be told to “burn it”, while avoiding terms like “smoking”. Because these products are “not meant for human consumption”, they do not have to be approved by the Food and Drug Administration, so they are technically “legal”. The illegality comes when a person tries to smoke it, because they’re using it for other than its intended purpose. Bags are filled with various legal smoking blends that have been sprayed with synthetic chemicals that are intended to mimic the effects of marijuana.  Unfortunately, unless you’re a chemist with a gas chromatograph, you probably have no idea what you’re smoking. Bags typically have no information about where they come from or what chemicals they have been sprayed with. Over the last several years the DEA has been banning countless chemical compounds in an effort to curtail the sales of spice. But every time they ban five substances, ten more pop up to take their places. The irony of the whole situation is that if weed were legalized, the demand for these products would almost certainly disappear, just like the demand for moonshine disappeared after prohibition. Government regulation of marijuana could be a potentially great thing for pot smokers because they’re in a position to ensure the quality and safety of what is sold. Smokers would have assurance that someone who knows what they’re doing has grown it and hasn’t adulterated it.

Now on the subject of cannabis law enforcement. The Texas Democratic Party recently published some statistics on marijuana arrests. According to them, the War on Drugs (as it relates to marijuana enforcement) costs the US twelve billion dollars annually, and 85% of marijuana related arrests are for possession only. Although penalties for possession are starting to soften and people aren’t being incarcerated as much, the country still has to pay the costs of processing these offenses, including court costs for lawyers and judges, and the salaries of police officers and DEA agents whose time might be better served going after meth labs instead of raiding medicinal marijuana dispensaries that are operating within the laws of their respective states.

A segment from the film "Super High Me" documenting a DEA raid on a medical marijuana dispensary in California.  Watching this will give you an idea of why the "War on Drugs" is costing the US So much money.

Prohibition doesn’t just cost the government and the tax payers. It costs the end user. If cannabis were legalized and regulated, it would hugely cut into the profits of the drug cartels that are the only ones benefiting from prohibition. Anyone who has ever bought some decent sensimilla (high grade seedless marijuana, sometimes called “dro”) can expect to pay around $60 for an eighth of an ounce (which translates to around $7600 a pound). A large part of this inflated cost comes from the dangers of selling and transporting marijuana. To what degree this affects the cost is open to speculation, but some sources say that if cannabis were legal the price for a pound of sensimilla could be as low as twenty dollars. This leaves plenty of room for the government to tax the hell out of it, and there will be no shortage of people willing to buy weed on the shelves of a legitimate dispensary rather than someone who may or may not be a from a gang or involved in cartels like a dealer.  

And last certainly not least, lets not forget that magic “T” word I’ve been using. That’s right, Taxes. It’s no secret that the US is in recovery from the worst financial crisis since The Great Depression. Taxation of cannabis has the potential to make a serious improvement in our economy, because if there is one thing that history has shown us with alcohol and tobacco, it’s that people are willing to pay taxes on items that are in demand. Since cannabis hasn’t ever had an economy in this country, there is obviously speculation about how much tax revenue could be raised from weed, but a realistic figure after all is said and done would be somewhere around 25% of the end cost which is close to what Americans are taxed for alcohol.

Also, legalization could create a significant amount of new jobs in the field of agriculture and in the form of dispensaries and processing plants. Oregon and Colorado (the first two states to legalize marijuana for personal recreational use) are in a unique position to affect future legislation on the plant as they begin to implement new infrastructure to grow it commercially and regulate it. If they can show that marijuana can be grown legally and regulated efficiently, more states are sure to follow. And the sooner that happens, the sooner the federal government is likely to repeal federal laws about marijuana so each state can have the freedom to choose how they will handle marijuana legalization.

Screen capture of a map from Norml.org.  Icons show which states have medical marijuana laws and which states have legalized/decriminalized it.

Even though the US has finally breached the landmark first states to legalize cannabis, we are still many years away from legalization. But thanks to the growing level of literature and studies on cannabis, people are now more informed about it than ever and public opinion continues to grow in favor of weed reform. It “high time” we started getting honest and up front about the plant and stop trying to ignore this real issue. If you’d like to learn more about marijuana laws in your state, visit the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (Norml.Org).

Happy 4/20!




Sources  
http://www.drugscien...tition/C7A.html

http://stopthedrugwa...arijuana_not_ga

http://norml.org/lib...ealth-mythology

http://scienceblog.c...o-gateway-drug/

http://www.deadivers....gov/schedules/

http://www.latimes.c...0,2533952.story

http://www.huffingto..._n_1606217.html

http://www.slate.com...arly_free_.html

This post has been promoted to an article

In my previous Game Design 101, I talked about tutorials, the process of designing them and whether they were necessary or not, as well as warning about keeping the tutorial stripped down to the core basics of the gameplay, instead of showing off the ways the gameplay was built upon.

However, what “building upon” gameplay means is a difficult term to explain. It's easy enough to understand with simple genres, such as platformers, but can be more difficult to translate to other, more complicated genres, such as first-person shooters. It's important to build on the core mechanics of a video game so that the player can continue being interested in playing. They can be likened to restrictions placed on the player and having the player find ways to work around those restrictions.

An excellent example of introducing core mechanics and then building on them would be the original Prince of Persia.



The first level of the game begins at 4:30. Watch from that point, and pause at 5:20.

The aim of the original Prince of Persia is to open the exit door, then make your way to the exit door and leave, finishing the level. The player has a time limit on the entire game of a single hour; if the player runs overtime, they can still complete the levels, but receive a bad ending. Standing in your way are various traps and other constructs that require you to occasionally slow down or drop safely from ledges, or jump and climb. Alongside these are various traps, like floors that shoot spikes, unstable platforms, and gates that need to be opened by stepping on switches. Later in the first level, the player picks up a sword.

Now move to 6:20, and pause at 6:45.

At this point, at the end of the first level, the player is introduced to combat in the game, fighting against a weak enemy on even terrain, with no traps on the screen. This safe, unobtrusive setup allows for the player to make a few mistakes while learning the combat system. There are no ways for the player to lose health or die on this screen except by making mistakes in combat. Once the enemy is killed, the player sheathes their blade and continues to the end of the level, having been prepped on the basics of platforming and combat for the entire game.

Now, move to 8:36.

This scene of combat introduces the first environmental hazard that can be seen during battle; if the player is forced too far backwards, he will fall onto the spiked floor and be damaged. This forces the player to stay on the offensive, trying to gain more ground so that they will not be forced into a corner by the enemy. By making the player have to adapt to this difference on the battlefield, they learn, get more experienced, and ultimately grow more confident in their ability to handle enemies, even if the field isn't fair.

Now move to 13:00.

The game now reveals a new type of trap, a quick-moving crushing wall that forces to player to quickly jump through before it can kill them. After encountering and maneuvering the trap, they find another enemy, an undead skeleton with no health bar in the bottom-right corner of the screen.

In this battle, not only does the player not know how well he is doing or how close the skeleton is to being defeated, but the arena has deep pits on both ends, once again forcing the player to stay on the offensive, lest they risk not damage, but death this time around. In fact, the player absolutely must keep forcing the skeleton further and further back, as the only way to truly defeat it is to force it over the edge of the platform to plummet to its doom. Not only does this teach the player that there are other ways to deal with enemies beyond simply killing them, but it also acts as another training exercise to teach the player about combat.

Now, move to 18:10.

This next battle begins after the player moves into range of the enemy, through a crushing wall. This is perhaps the ultimate end of the two previous battles where the player was forced to keep on the offensive, as the player cannot afford to make mistakes in this battle, as he will be forced back and potentially be crushed by the wall trap. Despite the fact that the enemy has no more health than the others encountered thus far, the player's disadvantage forces him to adapt to the situation.

This is how the game builds on its core mechanics. The game introduces the basics of traps, movement and combat in the first level, and proceeds to mix the two together in various ways, forcing the player to learn, to think, and to conquer. A trap here, with an enemy you can forced onto or into it. A giant bottomless pit under a bridge composed entirely of unstable platforms. Having to climb up small footholds, one by one, to reach the top of a pillar, risking falling and dying all the while. And all the while, the hour-long time limit ticks down, pressuring the player to not waste time dawdling or spend too much time trying to formulate a needlessly-complex strategy. And by the end, the player will have conquered everything the game could throw at them... and, hopefully, they'll have gotten to the end in time.

This need for the player to think and be smart about their play is something that occurs in every game, no matter how small of a difference it is in the long run. Platformers have ice physics, falling platforms, underwater movement or quicksand, forcing the player to learn about these restrictions and find a way to work around them. First-person shooters, ones that aren't modern military shooters like Modern Warfare, require the player to keep track of their ammunition, health and armor and change their strategies as necessary while fighting enemies. Dungeon-crawlers or action games may toss in new types of hazards for the player to come across, or new enemies that may be strong or weak against certain attacks. Adventure games, like Zelda, have puzzles that the player has to ponder to solve, some of which may require a great deal of critical thinking, forcing the player to think smart.

This type of growth has waned considerably in the past few generations of gaming, partly due to the rise of the casual gaming market, which may have less time or attention to devote to playing games and may just want something simple to waste time on. This can (and has, in some games) lead to situations where the restrictions and need for the player to learn and adapt are too lenient; the level design may be too forgiving, puzzles may be extremely simplified for the sake of keeping the player moving, previously-core game mechanics may be removed for the sake of streamlining and simplifying a game. Other games, like the roguelike genre, offer no difficulty curve at all, throwing the player into the game blind and forcing them to learn through trial-and-error, and while this can be fun for some people, more often than not people gravitate towards something more manageable, something that they won't feel frustrated by right off the bat.

The balance of building on the core mechanics is a difficult line to straddle, and requires a heavy amount of thought, testing and understanding of how the game will play. However, if a game simply doesn't build on its basics at all, it becomes painfully shallow and boring, as the beginning of the game will be exactly the same as the end of the game, aside from cosmetic or presentation details such as graphical or audio changes.

With this in mind, here are some tips to keep in mind when thinking about how to build on a basic foundation of game design:

• 
  When thinking of ways to make the player learn and adapt to the basics, think about ways to restrict the formula. If your game is about a character who moves very fast, perhaps a later level could include smaller platforms so that the player will have to slow down a bit to be more precise?
• 
  When introducing new mechanics or restrictions, be sure to do so in a way so that the player is not taken completely by surprise. If your close-combat action game has a boss that must be taken out with ranged combat, teach the player beforehand about ranged combat with a sequence where they must pick off weaker enemies from far away.
• 
  As the game moves further and further towards the endgame, begin to increase the punishments for making mistakes involving restrictions that were taught earlier. If a game has forgiving ice physics in the World 2, and a player loses a life due to less-forgiving ice physics in World 7, it is the player's fault for failing at something that they had been introduced to much earlier.

Imaperson. A username of such sheer simplicity for a pooper with such an intricate style. He has over 8000 subscribers and is known for his "hardcore" style of pooping, which relies on fast-paced editing, lots of ear-rape, collage clusters and rock and roll music. His most notable video is SUPER DUPER SUPER MEN, which showcases his running gag of Dog Fashion Disco's Silent Film "dun da dun" along with the neck-moving guy. Imaperson often uses ManWith10Toes, Looney Tunes cartoons, One Stormy Night, CD-I, and Aladdin (along with more) in his videos, and has also had part with the "Don't forget your umbrella" and "Aladdin raising his eyebrows quickly" running gags as well. Recently I trekked through the snow fields to the other side of the Great White North to get in touch with Mr. Imaperson.

First off, tell me a bit about yourself...

I am currently 21 years old and residing in Canada. I've been spending most of my life with music, acting, and writing. I recently graduated from a 2 year course in Film (on and off screen) and have been working towards pursuing it as a career lately.

What got you into YTP?

My brother and I had gotten into Angry Video Game Nerd at the time around 2007, and I remember I wanted to watch any video I could find from him. I searched "AVGN", kept scrolling through videos and eventually came across something I've never seen before. The video is called "YouTube Poop: AVGN SAVES THE WORLD"



I really enjoyed the concept of taking material and basically messing about with it, so it got me into making my own. I only intended on making a few and leaving it at that, as I wasn't too big on YTP to spend much time on it. As the next year arrived, I remember coming across a video that completely had me on the floor laughing. The video is called "ROBOTNIK EATS HIS OWN VAGINA"



I've never seen anything like it at the time and I found myself enjoying the more absurd, spastic style of poop. This is what got me into making YTP fully, as I was developing my own style from there throughout the years into what I am today! What also got me into YTP was just the collective creativeness of what the community had to offer. I definitely wanted to stick around for that.

Who would you say are your inspirations for making YTP?

MeiAIDS definitely played a big part in inspiring me. Others that vastly inspired me along the way were YTPSource (known as TheChutley now), Mr. Tennek, MasterGwonam, JakeSteel0121, SkyGuy16, deckman92, TimAJH, rapskallionxyz, passstrengthnull and SergeantBacon. I still enjoy them to this day! Even then, I have even more inspirations for making YTP from poopers like Avojaifnot, HaHaHound, Revfirst, Stuart K Reilly and just much more. Poopers who make me laugh or impress me with their videos are pretty much my inspiration. A good person as a whole helps a lot, too.

How do you usually go about making a YTP?

If I have an idea for a YTP, I base it off of a single source I've been enjoying a lot when I start off. As I move on with that source, I find another source that I feel has a good transistion/flow to it. That way, I can gather a lot of different sources together. As for all the music that goes into one, that all comes from "feeling" as well. It always depends on what is actually happening in a segment, like metal playing over a distorted spastic scene and so forth. The intention I have when I go about making a YTP is to make it like an experimental song of some sort, such as going through different emotions.



What things do you like seeing in a YTP and what don't you like to see?

The key thing I like to see in a YTP is fun. I like seeing how creative it can be, and getting a lot out of it that induces a need for multiple viewings. There's not much I don't like to see in a YTP because I find myself enjoying low-quality humor and horrible execution as much as I do the opposite of those. If there's anything I'm not too fond of, it's the sense of redundancy being used incorrectly like too much of a running gag and just unspired usage of sources that could have much more potential (this is why I'm embarassed to even watch through the second half of my own video, "SUPER DUPER SUPER MEN"!!!)

How do you view yourself in the YTP community?

I feel grateful to even be where I am in the YTP community. I've always been making YTPs for myself and not what everyone would like to see me do. With that, I get a lot of satisfaction of people even enjoying my videos, being inspired and creating their own works! I view myself as "accomplished" in the community in the sense that I'm still doing what I love to do, and more importantly, helping others along the way and having a grand time! I never thought I'd be one of the poopers who would end up influencing others and even being called things like "incredible" and "legendary" and the like...let alone with doing something on the side compared to big projects like writing and music I have been working on. I'm very thankful for all of this, and it makes me happy.

Which YTP are you most proud of?



Even though I just released it, I am the most proud of "VIVIAN LISTENS TO RED WHILE FUCKSTONE LOSES HIS HEAD". That video I felt like I had the most fun and creativity with. It was also one of the only videos where I felt extremely exhilarated during its production, even in times of depression. I went through a lot of emotions while making this, and I think it shows. I even had a pretty serious and bizarre moment in this poop. The day when I was working on this one section with Colin and Mei - http://www.youtube.c...F8X6M#t=6m40sec - was also on the day my cousin passed away too young from cancer. So I had this weird uplifting/comedic feeling - can't take it too seriously with Colin missing half of his limbs flying around screaming "NICE PANTS!!!!" - that I had implemented during that moment. So with this whole video, I feel like I had the best sense of where I was and what I was doing with it. I'm proud with the final result.

Another video that comes very close to this is "The Ultimate Hoip Of Hoips: Fern's Christmas Party", which was also very fun to make the whole way through. Other YTPs of mine that I consider to be my favorites are "GASTON GETS CHUTLEY DISEASE", "Mei Goes For a Super Duper Wacky Horny Laddie Men Walk 2", "SUPER HORNY LADDIE 3", and "MIKEWITH10ERICS".

What YTPs do you consider your favorites?

"Orel Puppington Sings The No Children Song That Ends The Church" by avojaifnot
"JOSH TRANSCENDS MORTALITY" by PresidentOfJelybeans
"JAWSUS (THERE IS NO TIME)" by MasterGwonam
"Kuromi注意 No.-6031 SIMPLY Dr. Robotnik" by rapskallionxyz
"ALADIN BREAKS HIS SUPERFINGER" by deckman92
"SHANA EATS A BLACK DUCK" by CommanderGwonam
"THE KING GOES PERMANENTLY BLIND IN ONE EYE" by JakeSteel0121
"Mrs. Bucket sexually harasses anthropomorphic animals" by MeiAIDS
"ROBOTNIK CONTRACTS AN STD" by Domorato
"DRACULA HAS NO TIME FOR RAPE" by Homepike
"Frollo goes to Hell, Michigan" by Whelt
"PUT THE BOOK DOWN!!!!!!! PART 9: THE SPINOFF" by TheChutley
"U.R. Ruud" by SkyGuy16
"Dr. Wily is a Filthy Old Man" by TimAJH
"Zack Talks About His Scrotum" by Drasdic
"INSECT RABBIT TEACHES MR. JONES THE JOYS OF MICROWAVE COOKERY" by thechairman45
"Bison and the Gay Niggaloo" by RevSecond
"Shine On You Crazy Bill - Part I" - by AbsoluteBillion
"DREW AND JACOB IN THE WACO SIEGE" by Radock
"Drugs Bunny's Parental Guidance System" by Stuart K Reilly
"22@" by SergeantBacon
"Dave Mustaine's anal prolapse destroys 800 Wayne Bradys while Hitler moves the glow" by jamesdeth
"Simon's Final Confession: Simon Bakes A Goat Pie With A Hint Of Batman Grease" by DaKooperPooperALT
"Mike's Unanticipated Reality Check" by HaHaHound

What would you like to say to aspiring poopers?

Don't hold back, make sure to always have fun and don't stress out too much over it. Oh and don't be a jerk. That's important, too. Unless the opposite really does make you happy...

Before we end this, is there anything else you'd like to say?

Thank you for this wonderful interview! Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this! And thank you all of civilization that have gotten me inducted into the 1997 YTP Hall Of Fame in Moralton, Statesota.

His Tumblr

His Youtube channel

Richard Yearwood has had a long and diverse career through his acting, voice acting, directing, and producing. Discovered by a talent scout at a school play, he began his career in theater, eventually moving up to advertisements and finally landing a role in an episode of The Littlest Hobo. His two big passions are writing and acting, and he has concentrated on both of them for all of his life. He’s written two books – one of them titled The Perfect Relationship Handbook – and had a fairly prolific acting history.

The English-Canadian actor currently has over 50 TV and film credits to his name (with some video games on the side), and has played all kinds of roles, both big and small, from children’s favorites to quirky spy catchers to violent gang members to kung fu masters. These roles include Ritter Wells in Sanctuary, various voices in Saint’s Row, computer hacker Rick in the cult video game Dino Crisis and its sequel, an upcoming role as Ganymede in the next Percy Jackson film, and a lead recurring role as the “wild card” on the team of the action comedy InSecurity (“the Canadian 24”)¹.

Aside from appearing onscreen and as an offscreen voice, Yearwood has gained experience behind the camera. According to his biography, Yearwood got some advice from the great Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg which “changed his life forever”: learn to direct, because you might get bored acting. As Yearwood wrote, “What it did was make me appreciate everyone’s role in making a project. From that moment, I worked on directing and producing and thankfully I got my opportunity to direct on my own…”² At the moment he has directed episodes on seven different TV shows.

If you go to YouChew or have more than a passing knowledge of 90s cartoons, you probably know Yearwood primarily for one of his most well-known stints: the voice of Donkey Kong on Donkey Kong Country. The 1997 show, produced in France and dubbed in Canada, was one of the first children’s cartoons to use all computer graphics animation, and the results were memorable, to say the least. While the show’s quality is disputed – it’s loved in France in Japan, and it’s liked for a few of the wrong reasons over here – it definitely has its charms. It’s hard not to enjoy the vocal performances, like King K. Rool’s hammy portrayal by Benedict Campbell, and it’s impossible not to take to surprisingly great songs like “I’m Nobody’s Hero” and “One of Us.” It definitely didn’t deserve to be kicked off of Fox to make way for Bill Clinton’s impeachment, which it was. Have the network heads no taste?

Whatever you take away from the show, you have to admit that you remember Donkey Kong’s voice. Yearwood’s role on the show has lodged his voice into the minds of many children; the single comment on his online blog says “your voice as DK is just gorgeous.” His enthusiasm and emotive acting made him a great match to play the heroic cartoon ape; some actors might see Kong as a toss-off role, but Yearwood took pride in his performance, infusing him with his own personality. No matter how much Nintendo tries to make us think differently, we will always hear Yearwood as Donkey Kong.

Today the Writing Staff of YouChew would like to present a brief interview with the man who made Donkey Kong real for all of us, Richard Yearwood.

________________________

How did you get involved with Donkey Kong Country?

I had done some voice work in the past for Nelvana like Magic School Bus and they brought me in to audition for the voice.

Are you a fan of the series?

Yes I am a fan of the series.

Could you tell us what it's like to work as a voice actor? A quick run-through will suffice.

Working as a voice actor is fantastic. You are able to be as silly as you want in the booth without anyone judging you. You can tell when the character is leaping off the page.

What are your general thoughts on the show, in retrospect?

I think the show was ahead of it's time and if it was on the air right now I think it would run for many years.

Have you ever gotten any notice from your role on the show?

Almost every role I do they bring up that I was the voice of Donkey Kong. It brings Adults back to their childhood and that is a good thing.

As DK, you had a great singing voice. Have you ever considered a musical career?

I used to sing backup for a jazz artist and I have had some luck in the music business. The funny thing is I only sang on the first episode.

Where can audiences find you nowadays?

Nowadays I am directing and producing mostly but just recently I finished a series called InSecurity. I am a CEO of a production company at Paramount Pictures.

Thank you for your time, Mr. Yearwood.

________________________

Because of Yearwood's packed schedule, we weren't able to get a longer interview, but we're grateful for his cooperation in any way. Remember to look for him in the upcoming Percy Jackson: the Sea of Monsters, and keep watching Donkey Kong Country every chance you get.

¹ "Richard Yearwood - Actor, Director, Producer." IMDb. IMDb.com, n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0947073/>.

² "Richard Yearwood Biography." Richard Yearwood. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Apr. 2013. <http://richardyearwood.com/biography/>.


This post has been promoted to an article

Before beginning this little review of sorts, let’s first step into our time machine and enter life as it was 6 years ago. Back in that time, YouTube was not as popular as it is now; no major advertisements ended up being displayed on YouTube videos (in fact, I don’t think they were even there at all from then), videos that had over 100,000 or even 1,000,000 views were much more rare than common, and people weren’t getting copyright warnings and channel deletions over the content that was being posted there in the first place. It was not only a simpler time, but also a time where a new style of video was growing. That style had involved taking cartoons and video games like Super Mario World, Sonic the Hedgehog, and the Mario and Zelda CD-I games and splicing them to make funny results. In that time, it had started the seeds of what is now called YouTube Poop.

During this time, there were two YouTube Poopers that had shined above everyone else: Deepercutt and WalrusGuy (or as some of you know him now, NAveryW). Both Youtubers not only had the skills to edit their videos for their amusements, but also found a common ground for a fair percentage of YouTubers to like them. If you wanted to be on top of the YouTube Poop world, you would have had to look at those two guys as inspiration to get a positive reputation on YouTube. However, time does tend to be a cruel mistress, and part of that stemmed from when companies like Colgate and WMG decided to remove videos and even ban users just for editing media that were created by them, which included a temporary ban on WalrusGuy himself. Between those copyright problems that started to come up and a desire to be more known for his flash animations, he decided to release one last YouTube Poop in 2009, signifying an end of an era.

Before long, more transformations came into play for practically everything! YouTube Poops were starting to become more complex than what they used to be, Deepercutt started to become less interested in doing YouTube Poops as well, and YouTube introduced many changes that were considerably negative despite users eventually getting used to them. Fast forwarding into now and many of the things that have occurred back then still are happening now, but with many more differences. Popular YouTube Poopers no longer include guys like WalrusGuy & Deepercutt leading the way. A more complex crowd that includes members like Dikekike (formerly KroboProductions), CaptainOhYeah (who currently holds the highest viewed YouTube Poop around), and even cs188 (who has surpassed Deepercutt as the most subscribed YouTube Pooper) have been able to accomplish things that were not even considered possible beforehand. Probably the most jarring change, though, was aside from a few fad videos every now and then, WalrusGuy would keep to his word and not make another YouTube Poop. However, on a cold April 2, the man that had retired from YouTube Pooping for so long returned from his slumber and had released the film that would shake the nation: “walrusguy where do u get the censorship beep sound effect”.



To begin with this return from WalrusGuy, we have a lovely little picture or Mr. Ratburn’s dead head in a very expensive looking glass bowl. After D.W.’s grandma takes out the head and kicks it just to “poo on it,” we get to the part where D.W. sees a teenage boy arguing with his mother about touching stuff. Admittedly, this is probably one of the few parts that did not make me laugh. While I do understand that there’s one joke that lampshades that idea in the first place, aside from the joke involving backtalk, I still didn’t get anything worthwhile out of it. In addition, the gory sound effect that was used for the boy touching the diamonds felt a bit out of place without any real, visible damages to his finger. It’s probably more jarring when knowing that after the fight, D.W.’s arm actually goes off, yet the guy’s finger doesn’t even show anything at all! I’m not saying that there should have been a gore-fest coming out of it; I just want to expect some sort of damage involved if any visible damages should happen in the first place.

Thankfully, after the beginning is over with, the YouTube Poop becomes much better, almost to the point where some of the jokes are as good as WalrusGuy’s old days. Scenes from having D.W. saying backwards gibberish and then having her grandmother ask “what the fuck did you just say, dear?” to having Arthur telling himself not to touch his (broken) plane did make me laugh for quite a while. The beeps that would be put in to the sentences that are said actually help connect itself to the source as opposed to make it amateurish, especially knowing the name of that particular episode was about. Also, as it was mentioned beforehand, we have the special moments that involve the joke being in the background, as would usually be the case with YouTube Poops by WalrusGuy. One scene in particular had two ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments near the exact same time in the background, and they can spark a good laugh if you do manage to spot them both. Honestly, the early middle part of the video probably best resembles what WalrusGuy was about, which is great to anyone that actually did enter the YouTube Poop age of 2007.

However, once the latter part of the middle comes in, we see D.W. spying on what appears to be either a 1970’s video or a mid-1990’s full motion video game involving a nurse about to take her clothes off. Even though sometimes the jokes involved with it does work, such as the looping animation found in many video players, they mostly just seem to be filler. In fact, the sentence mixing during this part almost sounds a bit shoddy when compared to some of this video’s earlier scenes. Thankfully, the scene with the lady does go somewhere with a good conclusion involving D.W. and her mom. Once that’s done, the video ends with what’s probably one of the best YouTube Poop jokes I’ve seen in a long, long while. I won’t spoil it for you guys, but if you ever wanted a figure of speech taken to literal extremes, this ending is easily the best one yet!

Does this YouTube Poop deserve the respect that it has received over this past month? Honestly, I think it does deserve its respect as a worthwhile YouTube Poop to watch, but it does not truly feel like a return fans of WalrusGuy were expecting from him. While there were at times jokes that he had delivered in his video, some of them really did feel like misses than actual hits, which kind of reflects the period that made him famous in the YouTube Poop world in the first place! However, I can’t be too harsh on someone that thinks it’s harder to make a YouTube Poop funnier than the actual source that it came from, so all I can say is enjoy it for what it is. It might not be my favorite YouTube Poop of April 2012, but it certainly does come through for fans of YouTube Poop nostalgia and comedy alike.
 
(If you liked this article and want to see more like it from the Writing Staff in the near future, please let us know!)

666 Satan, also titled the less popular “O-Parts Hunter”, is not a relatively new manga series, having been published monthly in the Monthly Shonen Gangan under Square Enix in 2001 (at that time known simply as Enix), and its author has published a few manga series' since its conclusion in 2007. However, not only is this one of my favorite manga of all time, this work also serves especially well to draw a parallel. To what, you might ask? Well, no doubt you have heard of the works of Masashi Kishimoto, the author of the popular manga/anime series Naruto. Most people don't know, however, that Masashi has a twin brother, Seishi Kishimoto, and also wouldn't have guessed that his twin brother makes manga like himself. 666 Satan is not only the manga that Seishi is most known for, but as it was published just a few years after the initial release of the Naruto manga.

If you hadn't known of Seishi or the series before, seeing the artwork you might jump to the conclusion that it is drawn by Masashi Kishimoto. Nobody can deny the fact that if nothing else, their art styles are similar. Not only that, but as you read through 666 Satan, you will see a number of similarities in the characters and stories as well. Due to this and the fact that this work was published after Naruto got popular, Seishi was oftentimes, and still is to an extent, accused of copying his older brother. While Seishi has said on multiple occasions that they merely had similar influences as they grew up and that they used to always draw together as children, this wasn't enough for most fanboys. Thankfully, Masashi himself has flat out denied that his brother is a copycat. What, though, other than the obvious, was the cause of all of the commotion? I'll point out specific reasons as I go.

O-Parts Hunter tells a story that follows the adventures and trials of Jio Freed, a young boy with a style design that one might compare to someone's OC due to the black and white split motif, as well as Ruby Cresent, an adventurous young girl who looks very slightly similar to Sakura when not shown in color. It all starts off with Ruby falling over a sleeping Jio when being chased by a giant monster in the wild. Jio completely ignores the monster, instead complaining about being woken up, even while being swallowed whole by the beast. He escapes through its nostril simply enough and brings it to submission in a single blow, only to continue berating the now bewildered Ruby. Despite this, Ruby considering him to be a very kind person and offers her friendship. Jio replies by telling her he doesn't trust humans, and that the only things he really trusts in life are himself and money, as well mentioning his goal, despite his appearance, is to “become ruler of the world” or “to conquer the world”, which he states much in the same way as Naruto does his dream to become Hokage.

And that's basically how it works.

Ruby explains her own dream of becoming an archeologist like her father, wishing to recover and research mystical and ancient objects known as O-Parts left behind by a much more advanced civilization, so advanced in fact that even modern-day technology couldn't replicate the functions of their relics. Each O-Part has a magical ability locked inside of it, but it seems that not everyone can use them. It takes a special person, known as an OPT (O-Part Technician) to activate their “spirit” and release the effects of the O-Part by infusing said spirit into the object. To cite an example of the power of O-Parts, Ruby mentions a famous story where a man simply known as “Satan” with the number 666 on his forehead murdered an entire village by turning the inhabitant's O-Parts against them. Jio seems to be disturbed by this story more than a regular person might be, and we soon learn about the reason why Jio doesn't trust humans any longer.

As it turns out, when Jio was young, he was oftentimes teased, bullied, and beaten by the other children who would call him cursed. One boy, Jin, would defend him each time, until one day when Jio called for him, Jin would confront him with fury and accused Jio of murdering his parents “like he had his own”. A dark voice deep inside of him begins telling him to lose trust in humanity, that money won't betray him, and nobody will ever love him. The stigma placed upon Jio is not unlike that placed upon Naruto at the beginning of the series, though unlike Naruto, Jio's one and only person he could rely upon betrays him and sends him deeper into darkness.

Ruby isn't just an ordinary girl, herself, being the daughter of a famous archeologist who was said to be murdered by Satan, and is soon kidnapped by a man claiming to be the same Satan to help him recover more powerful O-Parts. Despite Jio telling Ruby he wouldn't be her bodyguard because she had no money, he finds himself unable to stop himself from saving her, even when offered by the gang a large sum of money to leave.

This is when the power of O-Parts is first revealed, Satan revealing himself to be an OPT and attacking Jio. It would seem like he was going to lose when “Satan” uses his O-Part's power to cover Jio's head in a giant ball of water and begins to drown him, but Jio surprises them all by simply swallowing the water in a single gulp and claiming to also be an OPT, wielding a boomerang with an effect that amplified his power. “Lord Satan” discovers another O-Part during their short scuffle to follow, using its power of electricity out of nowhere to seemingly defeat Jio in a single attack. However, during his gloating, “Satan” fails to notice that Jio still stands. A strange aura starts to fill the air, terrifying everyone as Jio's hair changes color and some familiar symbols begin to appear upon his forehead.

Technically it still says "666".

Miraculously, it seems that Jio had absorbed the powers of the man's O-Part, and he claims to be the true Satan, defeating the imposter with a swift combination of attacks before attempting to turn on everyone else, Ruby included. Thankfully, Jio is somehow able to return to his regular self, but has no recollection of what happened.

It doesn't take long for Jio's old friend, Jin, to rear his head again either. Not too long after this ordeal he ends up being attacked by Jin who had now become an OPT for hire. He attacks with a large flame-shaped sword that has an effect of flames. However, it seems that Jin's hatred has affected his spirit, and therefore altered the effect of his O-Part, creating black flames that burn eternally. This, of course, resembles the black flames of Amaterasu and how Itachi attempted to make Sasuke stronger through hatred in the Naruto series, but black flames were of course not an invention of Masaski's. Jio once again finds himself in a corner, as Jin proves to be a powerful OPT despite his age. Without warning, Satan reveals himself again and absorbs the black flames, claiming that Jin's flames and his hatred are pathetic in comparison to his own. Jio and Jin end up both falling over the edge as Jio loses consciousness soon after, and realizing now that Jio had no idea what he had done, Jin saves his friend at the expense of falling to his own doom.

From here, we begin to learn about a group known as the Zenom Organization who seems to work as a crime syndicate, hiring thugs to hunt down O-Parts and recruit or kill powerful OPTs. On the other hand, the Stea Republic, opposes them with a similar goal of recovering O-Parts, though they are much less covert. They also employ the powerful of a massive O-Part in the form of an airship used as a mobile command station. Their operations are also led by a young boy named Cross Biancina whose spirit is so powerful that it creates a dense fog when released, and he is capable of commanding multiple O-Parts in the form of rings called Justice. We learn later on that Cross once had an encounter with Satan a few years before, as well.

Shortly after the battle with the false Satan, Jio and Ruby venture into a city that turns out to be overrun with Zenom operatives who plan on unearthing a massive O-Part beneath the city whose power is said to be legendary. After running into a resistance group who claim to be OPTs (but mostly aren't), Jio decides he must become stronger, and it just so happens that there is an urban legend in the town pertaining to a powerful OPT who teaches others who can pass his trials, though nobody had ever survived them before. Jio of course decides to see if he can get this training, but one of the members of the resistance, a boastful and protective boy named Ball, comes with him to likewise receive training.

Their personalities clash, as both Jio and Ball are quite prideful (though Ball doesn't seem to have as much talent to back it up yet) but somehow they manage to make it past the trials, only to be greeted by a childish swordsman by the name of Kirin and his dog who wears human shoes. Kirin in a lot of ways resembles Urahara from Bleach with his mannerisms and appearance, though his training methods are closer to trickery than brutality. It's also interesting to note that despite having expansive knowledge of O-Parts and spirit, he himself is incapable of using O-Parts, though his skill with the sword is beyond normal human capabilities.

Cast out of Soul Society, he now inhabits the worlds of other manga.

I won't spoil too much more of it for you, though. Not too long later into the series it is revealed that Satan is not the only demon possessing a body, but there are 10 in total, as well as 10 angels, all of which are based off of aspects of sin and virtue respectively, loosely based on aspects of sin and virtue respectively. These angels and demons seem to become the main focus of the warring Zenom and Stea Republic later on, as great power is said to be given to the one who can seal either the angels or demons within what are known as the Kabbalah and Reverse Kabbalah (with the Reverse Kabbalah being reserved for demons). This, of course, is a reference to the Jewish Kabbalah intended for teaching virtues and discipline (or related to Jewish Mysticism depending on how you interpret it), 666 Satan's naming and design schemes occasionally influenced by Judaism, though you won't be learning any actual stories or teachings involved with the religion. Jio ends up learning more about Satan's powers as well, as he learns what was happening after all that time, using the demon's power in constructive ways to defeat evil enemies.

As far as other Naruto resemblances go, there is an extremely spoilery occasion near the end of the series where a certain eye technique is shown to exist within a certain clan of humanoids, which when used for extended periods of time, will cause the user's eyes to bleed. However, other than being an ability linked to the eye and this aspect, it is in no way related to Sharingan or the Mangekyou Sharingan in the Naruto series. This seems to be based on something else completely. With this final conclusion, I feel that anyone who has actually read the series could tell without a doubt that it is NOT a copycat's version of Naruto.

My personal opinion of the series when I first read it was that it was exciting and original, though I do admit that when I first saw it when I was younger I thought that it was by Masashi due to the artwork, and the fact that the site I read it on recommended it from Naruto. The fight scenes actually aren't too long—you won't be having many DBZ battles where the main characters duke it out for episodes until later in the series—but they managed to keep me entertained and as time went on they become more unique and interesting. The characters themselves are also somewhat unique, adhering slightly to stereotypes whilst managing to stand out in some way with their quirks. I wouldn't call the story itself deep, and the chapters are very long due to it being a monthly manga, but to me, if you enjoy action, demons, and manga, 666 Satan is perfect for you.

If you happen to wish to check it out at some point, you can find scans fairly easily online, as well as Seishi Kishimoto's other famous work Blazer Drive, which is based on magic-infused stickers. It sounds weird initially, but it seems much less weird by the third chapter!

(In case you were wondering, the art does change a bit with each time skip)

For those of you that clearly must have been living under a rock in order to miss out on this recent phenomenon, allow me to fill you in. Rattle Me Bones is a game from the late 80s that required you to take whatever treasure ye will that was shown on the sophisticated wheel-spinning device from the pirate bones stacked up against the helm of a ship. However, one false spin of that wheel will lead you into the rattling of a lifetime! For this reason, critics have applauded RMB for taking risks with its child market and not being afraid to use clever rattling tactics in order to give them a good spook. The game proved to indeed be the result of many fun times.

Unfortunately the game went into obscurity very soon after, Maybe it was because a game willing to involve children in these kind of spooking rituals was seen as risque at the time, but regardless, the bones would have to sit still in the shadow until their inevitable second coming would approach them. Needless to say, the game proved to be very ahead of its time when the genius entertainer and entrepreneur simply known as "ricesnot" placed his faith in the then-forgotten board game and put his time and hard work behind it in order for it to come back at full force. He succeeded, and new life was breathed into those bones once more to keep them rattling for what may seem like an eternity now, with the Bones franchise now backing a successful show and an extremely dedicated Bone Awareness Group dedicated to enlightening more and more people about the joy of bones. Today, I'm going to sit down with the man behind the craze in order to truly get an Ideal viewpoint regarding his attachment to the franchise. Without further ado, let's dive in.

For starters, what would you say that you saw in Rattle Me Bones that gave you the faith to invest your time into this franchise? Did anything about making a show dedicated to bones seem risky to you at the time?

when I started making bone vids I was not thinking about the time investment or the risks!! I was simply swept up in the emotion

bone emotion

the day I found the rattle me bones commercial I was blown away by such mastery
I impulsively decided I would make a channel dedicated to delivering 100 bone vids
This was my plan regardless of popularity, regardless of quality of content, regardless of critical reception

75 bone vids later and people are actually watching them
I suppose there's something about it that hits everyone's funny bones?? (my little joke)

next question??

What would you consider to be the moment that the acclaim and recognition for Rattle Me Bones truly started to become noticeable? Was there a particular aspect of the Bones franchise that you think caused this sudden spike in popularity?

After uploading several videos I began to discover that bones was already acclaimed!! the discovery was V. amusing

examples

I found that bone vids were already being made (by long-time bone supporter BigBowsaALT among others)

I also then discovered bones was already fun "in-joke" on various message boards!! the coincidence was startling

had I accidentally tapped into a running joke that had been established for some time?? yes

I decided to hijack popular bone support and become the new face of bones. I may not have started the bone wagon, but I was prepared to give it identity!! and make bone vids

the important thing is making bone vids

When the show started out, for the most part it mainly featured Bones, the trumpeters and the children of the Rattle Me Boat getting into crazy antics together. Since then, the cast has expanded to include even more memorable characters such as Oshare Bones, Captain Bones, and the fan-favorite Therapist. What is it like to have this wonderful cast of characters to work with? And do you see any possibility of expanding the cast in the future?

They say that a picture speaks a thousand words but I'm pretty sure they messed the maths up?? I am finding way more than a thousand for some of these high quality stock images

Therapist's glaring expression says at least 3,000 words I think!! perhaps more (3300+? I do not have my calculator to hand)

From a narrative point of view, the technology has increased so much that you can have high-quality animation or actors that can display a wide variety of expressions!! but then what happens to imagination?? it is lost

This is where ricesnot is delivering where other media is failing its audience!! with bone vids, ricesnot respects the average bone supporter's intelligence enough to let him or her use their IMAGINATION to fill in any gaps that may appear

This includes (but is not limited to) lack of movement, continuity, variety, gaping plot holes, spelling errors, compression artifacts, bad timing, and jokes with no punchline

this way YOU create the vid as much as ricesnot does!! is that not magic?? it is magic

as for the size of the cast, it expands when the bone mythos needs it to. Therapist's (possible) love interest cashier lady adds some much-needed intimacy to the group, whereas detective man adds tension to Therapist's fugitivity. Therapist is the best character. But bones will always be the star

While on the subject of characters, what was it like working with high-profile bones like Oshare? Did you ever run into any scheduling conflicts? And are there any bones you would like to work with in the future?

All bones vids characters are highly-trained professionals with competitive ten-figure salaries!! I am running out of action figures though (did you catch the joke?? read again)

As for schedule conflicts, there is no schedule so there can be no conflicts?? if I started making making plans then maybe this new brand of chaos could begin?? it is not an attractive proposal

I cannot think of any bones I would like to work with!! generally new bones are sent to me by bones supporters
If new bones footage is found to have entertainment value I will work it into a bones vid (sometimes if there is no entertainment value also)
Keep sending ricesnot bone vids!! I am always ready to begin to start considering possible new material to maybe use perhaps

Recently you’ve treated us to a compelling story in the Bones series pertaining to the death of Bones and the aftermath that brought upon the Therapist that intrigued bone fans around the nation. Are there any more plans for future story arcs at the moment, or will you let the bones roll as they please?

Now that therapist is a fugitive he will have to outwit detective man!! detective man is a tenacious chaser of fugitives

there is no doubt that bones will throw many "spanners" in the "works" this is because bones mischief knows no limits

I am currently working on ideas for a series where bones and therapist solve mysteries. They will be like detectives. It will be interesting because detective man will still be chasing them. so he will be detecting the detectives. is that not ironic?? (i'm not sure the exact definition of irony is difficult to discern??)

in any case, the "plots" and "stories" tend to write themselves. this is a metaphor because ricesnot writes them, but it is not very structured so it's less like "writing" and more like making vids about things I think before I either Forget Them, or Realize It's A Terrible Idea.

As of late, there seems to have been a sudden uprising on the internet. It seems as though several adult males have taken a liking to the show and have coined the term “bonies”, or male fans of Rattle Me Bones to be more specific. The bony movement has become so large that it led to the founding of an official BonyCon along with bonies even being mentioned on the popular Comedy Central TV series “Tosh.0”. What do you think about this sudden movement? Does anything about it surprise you?

Bonefriends all over have shown overwhelming support for bone vids and other bone content!! their loyalty is touching

my only hope is that no-one gets bone tattoos that they will later regret?? the popularity will fizzle out eventually!! remember it well

it is good to enjoy bone vids while it is a thing, but important to remember that one day it will not be a thing. This will aid bone supporters in appreciating bone vids while they are still around!! even bones turn to dust eventually

Lastly, how do you feel about the future of bones at the moment? Some view the bone movement as a passing fad, while others see it as something much more. You’ve made quite some progress since you began, so do you see the future being just as bountiful?

everyone has bones inside their bodybags so how can bones be a passing fad?? unless you intend to be a floppy pile on the floor (be my guest) ??

bone vids are fun and entertaining!! if they stop being fun and entertaining then they will stop being fun and entertaining!! they will disappear

for me this has not happened yet (maybe it has for some people?? they may have moved on to dog vids) and as long as I enjoy making bone vids I will be making bone vids.

what I am trying to communicate is that I like making bone vids

as for the future of bone vids I don't know?? I am not clairvoyant
does it even matter?? people will move onto something else at their own pace
there is no rush!! the future will be what it will be

I for one will complete my challenge to deliver 100 bone vids on this channel. after that who knows?? maybe i'll start a new channel with 100% legit material that I can make cash money from $$$

making vids for fun is one thing, but sometimes you have to buy food too

until then I will keep making bone vids

That's good to know! Thank you very much for your time, it's much appreciated.

that is no problem!! I hope your article is well-recieved!!

CorruptionSound is a YTPer that has been active for about 5 years (he started in May 2008). There are countless ways to describe his style. CorruptionSound is a genius when it comes to visual editing. He even does work in music/aural works. He has made seven different projects with himself, producing music of noisecore and releasing 28 demos on his channel. His style of YTP has a variety of effects and contains many intriguing aspects. In his first tennis match with CAPTAINSTEWPID, you could tell he did his best to make the visual effects as highly raped as possible. One day, I decided to make an interview with him, and I am very glad I did. So, ladies and gentlemen, here is my interview with CorruptionSound!

ZACHTOMCAT: If there was one word you could use to describe your style, what would it be?

CorruptionSound: varied

ZACHTOMCAT: Is there anything else you do in visual/aural works? (like music or movies or animations)

CorruptionSound: Well, very rarely I do ROM corruptions. Musically, I'm not doing anything at the moment but when I do, I'm making crazy songs consisting of noise or other elements with my project AxBxNx (Anal Buddhism Noise).

ZACHTOMCAT: Oh, like noisecore? I have seen your stuff like that.

CorruptionSound: Noisecore too, of course. I could do anything. I have my bass guitar, a real drum kit and I could come up with bunch of shit, but I just don't have any great ideas at the moment.

ZACHTOMCAT: Yeah, I understand. Projects like that have some...complications sometimes.



ZACHTOMCAT: When you made this project, Pete Julius replaces the convenience store with Erwin Rommel's old armory, could you feel the similarities between that and making an animation?

CorruptionSound: With animation, you mean drawing things and making them animate or do you mean it differently?

ZACHTOMCAT: I mean drawing and making it animate. Sort of like each frame has its own effort.

CorruptionSound: Well, it probably reminded me of 8mm or 16mm films, but I didn't feel there was a similarty from this and animation. I thought about it as some sort of analogue data mosh, because of how I printed all the frames on paper, that had letters and sometimes pictures on them already, giving the video remix a cheap look...

ZACHTOMCAT: What is your favorite thing to see in YTP?

CorruptionSound: Well, if there's clever/complex usage of layers and weird color effects going on, that's where I think these are my favourite things in a video remix (and tennis video, of course).

ZACHTOMCAT: So, stuff like BSP666c does?

CorruptionSound: For example, yes.

ZACHTOMCAT: In YTP Tennis, are you proud of how many matches you have done?

CorruptionSound: Kind of, I mean, tennising is what I wanted to do and have fun and it has gone wild and I wanted to experiment, so the result is that many videos...

ZACHTOMCAT: Overall of your videos you have made, which one do you think has the most effort?

CorruptionSound: Propably "Periodic table's sexy suspender striptease", but then I have lots of other videos that took quite a long time to make. If I didn't produce so many videos, I would have come up with a few videos. Basically, on my chewiki article in the "Best of CorruptionSound" paragraph, there are all my videos that have taken lots of effort mostly.



ZACHTOMCAT: How did you discover YTP?

CorruptionSound: It started all back in late 2007. I used to be on a forum called nintendofire and it was a German forum for fans of Nintendo-related stuff (of course, there were some fanboys around as well). I haven't been there for years and will never come back. Anyway, there was some thread about posting funny stuff, and there was one user who posted a video remix of the in/famous Mama Luigi episode. I believe it was "The only Mama Luigi poop anyone has ever made" by Walrusguy. I continued watching more videos and despite the fact that my english wasn't really good back then, I got amused by those videos anyway.

ZACHTOMCAT: Who is/are your favorite YTPer(s)?

CorruptionSound: Nobody. No, really, I have no idea who could be my favorite YTPer. I like B5P666c, MycroProcessor, molhal and some other guys, but then I don't really have a favorite.

ZACHTOMCAT: What tennis match were you in that you thought had a lot of variety?

CorruptionSound: As of finished tennis matches, I would say playing against molhal, kurkop and all the guys in different tournaments brought up all the variety. As of tennis matches that are still on going, tennis matches such as the abc match or the framerate based match have lots of variety.

ZACHTOMCAT: Will you ever make any more releases in your music projects?

CorruptionSound: I definitely will, because I've some unreleased tape recordings that are starting to get pretty old (some of my tape recordings are 4 - 5 years old). There's a split tape with gimpnipples on the way, but we still need to contact a label that takes our shit and release it. It might take a while. As for recording stuff, it also might take a while to come up with something creative.



ZACHTOMCAT: How long does it take you to make a video?

CorruptionSound: Usually it takes just some hours or sometimes a few days, but when I'm really making a fast-paced and complex video, it might take me a week. It depends on whether I'm having the mood to continue working a project, because sometimes I get bored and lurk around my bookmarked websites and that's why some videos take longer than necessary.

ZACHTOMCAT: When you are making a YTP, do you like the progress you make?

CorruptionSound: I'm usually pleased. Okay, sometimes things don't come out exactly how I imagined it, but I'm fine with what I'm doing anyway.

ZACHTOMCAT: What is your favorite source to use in YTPs?

CorruptionSound: Nothing, though I like to end and/or begin my tennis videos (as long as I'm not doing the last round) with analogue static or test cards (unremixed), but as for remixing I use pretty much everything, as long as the source isn't annoying or based on stupid fads/memes, though I don't really use popular sources, mostly obscure ones.

ZACHTOMCAT: Do you like the concept of analogue pooping?

CorruptionSound: It's not a bad concept, you can come up with something clever even with the heavy limitations of linear editing, but the way it's executed in some videos that are claimed to be "vhs poops" makes me wish that these videos were made to actually resemble some simple remixing techniques rather than just slowing down, fast-forwarding or constantly pausing the direct source video. Maybe I'm too early with forming an opinion, because I haven't seen enough, I don't really know. If you take my ongoing tennis match with RobochaoXX (aka. robochao1), for example, then you can see what can be possibly done by having two VCRs and some patience and if you really want to look for some crazier stuff, there are those old analogue remixes made by artist "Madame Chao" in the late 90's.

ZACHTOMCAT: Before this interview is over, do you have anything to say?

CorruptionSound: Well, thanks again for inviting me to the interview, but it sure was tough to answer some questions.

ZACHTOMCAT: Sorry about that. Thanks so much for being in this interview!

CorruptionSound: No problem.

Clearly, Stalag Luft III did not offer any film classes, as Barry Mahon's Thumbelina is hardly better than its parent film, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

The children of the seventies had a depressing vision of happiness.

As the title indicates, this is an adaptation of Hans Christian Anderson's Thumbelina, a story which has inspired many other adaptations. In Thumbelina, a tiny girl is born from a flower, and goes on an unwilling adventure where she is harassed by woodland creatures and almost forced into marriage twice, before finally being rescued by a swallow and happily married with a fairy prince. As weird as this story is, some adaptations – like the Russian animated short by Leonid Amalrik – have successfully adapted this into visual form, and created a compelling fish-out-of-water story with undertones of uncertainty and assertion. This... does not.

My faith in humanity just croaked.

A painful film to watch in every way, what makes it all the more unbearable is how drawn-out it is. Dialogue rambles on and goes into heavy exposition for a story that does not need it. Songs only exist to pad out the film, and do not contribute to the viewer's understanding of the story as it should. There is a framing device that only serves to advertise the now-defunct Pirates World, which it only actually appears in the opening and closing scenes. All of these can be cut or modified for a more streamlined narrative, which moves at a faster pace and keep the viewer's attention. It should be noted that its run time (70 minutes) is twice that of Ice Cream Bunny (approximately 33 minutes), which it serves as a film-within-a-film to; if the run time were the same time as its parent film, the flaws - while still being present - would be condensed to a manageable level, not to the point of being a feature-length nightmare.

Part of the reason for its sluggish pacing is its tendency to focus on details that take the plot nowhere. One egregious example is the great amount of focus given to the mother and the witch early in the film, both whom take too long in advancing the narrative beyond the introduction. Not including the framing device, it takes eight minutes for the film to progress before Thumbelina herself finally appears; within that span of time, the mother shares a monologue to herself lamenting her predicament, the witch has a pointless musical number about how she makes fairy tale icons' lives better, and the two exchange a drawn-out dialogue about the specifics of their deal. There's no reason for this abnormally long focus on these characters, for the dialogue fails to flesh out either of their personalities, and both disappear from the story altogether once Thumbelina is kidnapped. In contrast, Leonid Amalrik's own adaptation takes one minute to establish the back-story of the titular character, reducing the mother and witch to faceless plot-devices as the narrative focuses mainly on Thumbelina herself. Without this sense of pacing, Mahon's film gives more priority to things like describing Mr. Digger's china set than it does getting to the point.

How not to get to the point.

Neither the dialogue nor the narration is aware of the “show, don't tell” rule, leading the two to explain to the viewer what is happening, rather than letting the visuals do the work. Many scenes consist of huge chunks of dialogue between two characters, explaining the narrative in unnecessary detail and sometimes even repeating these details; this contributes to the aforementioned sluggish pace, especially when it lapses into moments of irrelevance. Meanwhile, the narration tells the audience everything they can already see unfold in the film, creating a redundant distraction that adds more noise to an already chatty film. Some of the most crucial scenes – such as the kidnapping of Thumbelina, or her rescue by the catfish – are not even shown at all, but are instead left to be described by the narrator. This gives the impression that the film crew could not be bothered shooting scenes that would take too much work to perform, instead focusing only on those that required little more than reciting lines and following minimal direction; the film is not only incompetent, but lazy.

With sound dominating the importance within the narrative, little care is given to the visuals. Sets are not only cheaply designed and poorly lit, but they are also awkwardly constructed in ways that obstruct the view of the camera. The witch's cave, for example, has a tall cauldron in the center that extends into the ceiling, preventing anything behind it from being in the camera's view and forcing the witch to be on either on side or the other. Also problematic are the scenes within the model room in the framing device: not only is the room blandly designed and more suiting for a school rather than an amusement park (where it takes place), the models are faced away from the camera, and are only occasionally shown in close-ups. The failure of the sets are compounded by the poor costuming, which to say it maintains a suspension of disbelief is like saying Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is a good film. Of course, since the film as a whole resembles a school play, this is not too surprising.

The Call of Cthulhu re-interpreted as a school play.

Worsening the cases of both sound and visuals are the lifelessness of the actors. Actors read their scripts as if they were doing just that, draining the already dull dialogue of life with monotone voices and a lack of enthusiasm. The actors make no attempt at being visually interesting, either: emotion is seldom found in their facial expressions, and body language only conveys the most basic details (i.e. Thumbelina is relaxed, Thumbelina is cold). The actress playing the titular character stands out with her pretty singing voice, but otherwise falls into the same pitfalls as the other actors; considering how gratuitous the musical numbers are, her singing ability hardly even counts as a redeeming factor.

Post-production is as good as one can expect from a film of this caliber, that is to say not very good. The sound mix is not as bad as that of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, but only because it is given less of an opportunity to fail, due to dialogue composing most of the film's sound. This comes at the cost of music, which seldom plays outside of musical numbers, sucking even more life out of the already arduous film. Even without these extra layers of sound, the sound mix still fails spectacularly when the narrator talks over the characters on-screen. Similarly, the visual editing is not as noticeably sloppy as its parent film, with the major exception of how it pads out the film by refusing to cut scenes short. The special effects, on the other hand, are full of B-movie badness, including shadows cast over the sky background during the "flight" sequence, as well as Thumbelina looking at the a faded projection of her mother in an attempt to simulate on-screen interaction between the two.

The real problem of special effects like these... is that there is not enough of it.

This film is on a different league of badness than Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny: whereas the latter is a surreal train-wreck of incompetence on the most basic film elements, the former is an all-around boring movie. To say it is marginally better than its parent film is hardly saying anything, as it is still bottom-of-the-thumb-sized-barrel when it comes to Thumbelina adaptations: Leonid Amalrik's short film is leagues better, and even Don Bluth's take on the story – for all its faults – is overall a more competent and professional film. It is because of this travesty that Hans Christian Anderson continues to write depressing fairy tales in his grave.

Hulk Hogan is one of cinema's finest achievements. What I mean is that he managed to screw up the basics of acting so bad that, despite his experience with theatricality concerning professional wrestling, it makes anything he stars in absolutely incredible to watch. Hogan is so uncharismatic of an actor that he rarely even signs up to do a film, but when he does, you're in for a whole new world. Watching films like No Holds Barred (Hulk Hogan plays a wrestler who makes a terrorist shit his pants) and Suburban Commando (Hulk Hogan plays an alien who has no concept of inconspicuousness) are an absolute delight in that these are not typical wrestler fare. You see, wrestlers mainly act in action films - for example, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, John Cena, and the Rock fit perfectly at home in films that require them to stand still, break peoples' necks, and blow up all of Dallas. Rarely do you see a wrestler tackle a family film, but when that occasion comes (i.e. the Rock's 2007-2010 stint; John Cena's surreal cameo in Fred: The Movie), these films transform from mediocre bargain bin filler to cinematic masterpieces. If only all films could have Cena ripping Lucas Cruikshank's arms off while screaming "YOU CAN'T SEE ME" and flexing his muscles every ten seconds.

But Mr. Nanny is on a completely different level. While it is by no means a good film in the conventional sense, it becomes an incredible black comedy once somebody really understands how the thing works. Starring Hulk Hogan, Mr. Jefferson, two kids who act in indie films now, that nerd from The Muppet Movie, and the lead singer of the New York Dolls, Mr. Nanny goes above and beyond what acceptable children's entertainment should be. If you want your children to become the next Dr. King Schultz, then show them this movie. This will show them how to carefully incapacitate (and most likely kill) a 200+ pound wrestler trying to make us believe that he's having a midlife crisis.

The plot, if I understand it correctly, is about this ex-wrestler, Sean Armstrong (Hogan), who keeps having nightmares about his time in the ring. His manager Sherman Hemsley (fuck his character's name) decides to get this man back into the ebb-and-flow of real life by hiring him as a security guard for this new venture he's creating. Their client, Alex Mason Sr. (Austin Pendleton), is the owner of a tech firm that has managed to create this amazing computer chip that has all the data needed to create the god-tier of anti-missile systems. However, it's not the computer chip that Mason wants Sean to guard - it's his angst-ridden kids Alex (Robert Gorman of no fame) and Kate (Madeline Zima of Heroes fame) that he needs to protect from bad guys like the lead singer of the New York Dolls who's clearly gone mad because Johnny Thunders recently died. I mean Thanatos. He's Greek. You know, all Greek people wear metal plates on their heads. Makes them look progressive as shit.



The most remarkable thing about Mr. Nanny is how director Michael Gottlieb managed to write some of the most sadistic traps for Sean to go through. From a diabetes-ridden black stereotype to a bike that goes near the speed of sound to a bowling ball that should've blown up Hulk Hogan's head into a Plaga-ridden mess, this movie proves that even a man who's probably wanted in 15 states for endangering others can somehow write and direct a movie. Take for example the set piece where the man with the 24-inch pythons has to work out in order to keep his stamina up. The kids decide to:

1. Hack an exercise bike so that it goes fucking fast during any set program, and
2. Place an electromagnet underneath a weight set.

After giving the Hulkster the workout of his life with the ultra-speedy bike, they decide to play around with the electromagnet, twisting it around so much that it looks like poor Terry's arms are about to rip right out of his body. It gets better - just when Kate gets control of the magnet, she turns it all the way up so that it launches the dumbbell up to the ceiling and then turns it off. If Hogan hadn't gotten out of that room fast, he would've been decapitated. This is a long way from Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern stepping on tacks and being hit on the head with paint cans - that's reasonable since poor Kevin was trying to protect his home from burglars. Sean, on the other hand, is the kids' BODYGUARD. There is no reason that they should endanger his life (or any of the other nannies). I don't care if they're grieving over their mom's death and their dad's deadbeat nature - this is something that Psycho Mantis would do in his spare time when he's not masturbating to The Birth of a Nation.

Another great thing about Mr. Nanny is how surreal the plot of the movie is. When properly analyzed, it's far from surreal - hell, it aligns to Joseph Campbell's hero's journey archetype - but when the individual parts are scrutinized, one wonders how in the hell Mr. Gottlieb thought this was a good idea for a kids' film. I can see why Hulk Hogan and David Johansen are in the film - the Hulkster and Buster Poindexter were fucking massive back when the script for this was written (I'm guessing 1991) - but why is Sherman Hemsley, a black dude known for dancing to Gentle Giant on national TV, in this? Why is the plot about a wrestler trying to get over his combat fatigue from when he witnessed one-fifth of the New York Dolls fall into a pool and split his head wide open? Why is Mason Sr. making anti-nuclear defense systems? Why are these kids trying to murder 57% of the state of Florida with their Home Alone traps on steroids? How did Mother Love, a radio host known very well for her battle with diabetes, play a permutation of Mammy who makes sub sandwiches and sugary desserts? Why is Thanatos asphyxiating and scorching up in deep space considered a victory? Was this required viewing by child soldiers enlisted in Militaires Sans Frontieres? How could one feasibly come up with this movie and consider this box-office gold?

Another reason why I wanted to cover Mr. Nanny is that it was a lot of sentimental value for me. As far as I can remember, this movie is the first movie I ever saw in my life. My earliest memories include wearing out the tape for Mr. Nanny so much that my dad could actually record Beverly Hills 90210 reruns over it. I didn't know who Mr. Jefferson and David Johansen were, but this movie introduced me to Hulk Hogan. I guess it introduced me to the New York Dolls, but it's not too apparent.- David at this time was still playing novelty music with a pompadour. I thought this movie was the shit when I first saw it - and this was before my mom (God rest her soul) bought me Toy Story and Tommy Boy. Of course I know Mr. Nanny is a terrible, terrible film and not an effective family film either, but without it, I would not be writing today. I would not be creating stories without watching Hulk Hogan suffer a myriad of concussions. When this comes on TV, I can't help but to watch it - the sheer demented nature of the traps and the concept of the film in general are enough to make me laugh. I wish that a film starring Hulk Hogan, some kids, Mr. Jefferson, and that guy who screamed out "Jet Boy" on the Old Grey Whistle Test was better, but if this is what I got, then I salute it.



Do I recommend it to people who don't have sentimental value for it? I guess so. I mean, you could easily make fun of the traps in a YouTube Poop (that is, if you guys still make them) or you could just laugh at how Gottlieb manages to fail at the simple act of pandering to a common audience. However, be warned that not a lot of the film is funny - it's still run-of-the-mill family jokes and stuff. It's also something to analyze whenever you think that Hulk Hogan isn't earning enough money from Mean Gene's royalty checks. This is the shit he used to make just to get a paycheck. If only we had more Mr. Nannies and Suburban Commandoes and High Noon at Mega Mountains as opposed to reality shows featuring his delinquent son and his dumb daughter. The only thing that COMES CLOSE to the surreality of Mr. Nanny is that grill the Hulkster endorsed back in the past - and even that did its job. This didn't. This failed at the box office. This became another dime-a-dozen film. However, it did place me into this world.

Daft Punk’s fourth album arrives on the heels of a thunderstorm of hype and anticipation. Their last proper album came out eight years ago, and fans have had to make do with a live album and a movie soundtrack – both good, but not nearly as fulfilling as another Discovery. Early this year, the band announced their new release with a cool cover, building on that with the track list, descriptions of the album’s sounds, and interviews with its collaborators. Hype was immediate and it only shot up after “Get Lucky” – the infectious first single featuring Pharrell Williams – came out. Now with 10-hour loops of “Get Lucky” on Youtube and Daft Punk’s first single in the US Top 20, the world is ready to hear all of Random Access Memories.

The album leaked a couple of weeks ago, giving fans the opportunity to hear their long-awaited album. However, the response so far has been mixed. Some listeners felt like the album lived up fully to its hype, others felt like it was overhyped, and others called it a weak, maybe even “terrible” release that didn’t deserve much hype in the first place. It might have been too radical a departure from Daft Punk’s signature sound, or the songs might not have been strong, or there might have been so many featured guest artists that Daft Punk themselves were overwhelmed. Whatever the reason, the album has prompted a wide variety of strong feelings.

It’s a huge change in sound for Daft Punk, no doubt about it. Random Access Memories has got to be the group’s most self-consciously “retro” album yet. The use of synthesizers is limited to modulars, drum machines, and the group’s trademark vocoders (old habits die hard). More unusual, there’s hardly any real sampling on the album at all, though you could argue that the group “sampled” a lot of the album’s ideas from other artists. Aside from that, the album features a large number of guest vocalists and performers, more than on any album they’ve released before, ranging from Paul Williams and Giorgio Moroder to Pharrell Williams and Panda Bear. Only one song is completely free of vocals. To get an authentic sound, the group also sought out genre players, like session drummers J.R. Robinson and Omar Hakim and disco guitarist Nile Rodgers. A look at the album credits reveals some unusual instrumentation, including string orchestra, a children’s choir, pedal steel guitar (you heard right), actual percussion, the Ondes Martenot, and something called a “cristal baschet.”

The cristal baschet.

Daft Punk's next album will feature the banjo and bass theremin.

As an album that’s been alternatingly called wonderful and terrible, Random Access Memories is hard to approach from an unbiased perspective. Anyone who loves Daft Punk may or may not be turned off by their new direction, and those who don’t like Daft Punk might or might not be finally won over. I love Daft Punk, and speaking as a fan, I think the album delivers pretty well. No matter how many guest artists, genre homages, and changes in sound are present on Random Access Memories, it’s impossible to see how a set of tunes like these could have come from anyone but the two guys in Daft Punk.

This record is a true “grower.” It’s not an album that immediately rewards you on first listen. It takes a few listens to really get into the songs. “Give Life Back to Music” doesn’t seem to go anywhere, “Instant Crush” sounds a little silly, and “Touch” is so strange and out of left field (some have called it a Disney song) that it’s uncomfortable to listen to. “Get Lucky” is the only song that hits you right off the bat, and there’s no denying the song’s groove (especially in the 6-minute album version), but it’s also suffered the most from overplay. I’d argue that replay value is the one big thing that saves the whole album from the dustbin.

If you can’t appreciate disco, you might not take to Chic guitarist Nile Rodgers’ licks on “Give Life Back to Music” and “Lose Yourself to Dance,” but for me, those licks pretty much make the songs. The formers’ cheesy synth buildups are part of its charm, and the latter also includes repeated vocoder lines (come on come on come on come on come ON) that push the song into extra catchiness. Speaking of catchiness, “Instant Crush” is simply infectious, with more vocoder vocals (now supplied by Julian Casablancas of the Strokes), a pentatonic keyboard riff in the chorus, and a nice guitar solo. “Motherboard” is never less than interesting, mixing a spacy synth line with acoustic guitar strums, flute, strings, drum samples, and rain effects and somehow coming up with a solid electro tune.

Some have criticized the album in that the collaborators overwhelm Daft Punk. I’ve also heard the complaint that the group is too focused on crafting homages to their favorite music and not focused enough on crafting good songs. I have to ask, though: when haven’t Daft Punk been crafting homages to their favorite music? They literally thanked their inspirations in “Teachers,” and Discovery contains tributes to everyone from Supertramp to Yngwie Malmsteen. I’d argue that sampling music shows appreciation for the artists sampled, and in that way Daft Punk have been showing their appreciation for their whole career. I’d have a problem with the collaborations if they didn’t work or were shoehorned into the album, but they fit in alright. Daft Punk were the album’s ringleaders, after all, and they wouldn’t just choose any old singer to cut a song. The collaborations have a purpose in the album’s sound. They wanted Pharrell to channel a disco singer on “Get Lucky,” and they did. “Doin’ it Right” breaks the rules a bit. It sounds like a compromise between Daft Punk and Animal Collective, but with the best of both worlds, not the worst.

I have to admit, I immediately fell in love with “Fragments of Time.” Todd Edwards (of “Face to Face” fame) returns, but this time he’s not singing a dance tune. The song sounds more like the lite-rock jams you’d hear on FM radio in the late 70s. You might get a late period Eagles or even Fleetwood Mac vibe, and the slide guitar and talk box solo are straight out of a Steely Dan hit. Beyond the musical references and production, though, “Fragments of Time” is simply an excellent song. It’s got the laid-back feel down pat, and even if Edwards’ lyrics about memory are a little clumsy, they complement the music, not overshadow it. I love the song’s chorus; it encapsulates everything that’s appealing and enjoyably cheesy about lite-rock without coming off as forced. And I do love that slide guitar.

I didn’t immediately take to “The Game of Love.” I thought it was misplaced in the album’s sequencing (I would’ve put a dancier track on no. 2) and I wasn’t a fan of the vocals. I’m not used to Daft Punk strutting their “serious” side anyway. This song also improved with a second listen, when I could get into the slightly funky atmosphere and the nice keyboard work. When the robot man sings “And it was you-oo,” I kind of want to laugh, but I can enjoy it all the same. The same goes for “Touch.” It begins with creepy robot voices, and then develops from there with an introspective part featuring elfin songwriter Paul Williams’ vocals, a dance number with trumpet solos, a slower part with more vocoder, a slight return to the dance, another slow part with a children’s choir (and dangerous amounts of cheese), and a final return to Williams. It’s an exhilarating ride, and it might sound alien at times, which might have been the point. This song also grew on me; cheesy as it is, it’s also well crafted and good at holding my attention all the way through.

My least favorite cuts have to be “Within” and “Beyond,” the album’s two “mystical” songs. They’re similar in that they start out strong – “Within” with a lyrical piano solo, “Beyond” with an awesome orchestral crescendo – but then fail to deliver on that start. Plus, the lyrics are painfully cheesy, in a “French guys writing English words” kind of way, and the vocoder voices aren’t wholly proper for an intimate ballad like “Within” anyway. “Beyond” does start to pick up at the end when the voices drop out, but it’s too little too late by that point.

For a record that clocks in at over 70 minutes, however, there isn’t a whole lot of filler. No song is completely disposable – I still like the piano intro to “Within,” and “Touch” goes through so many transformations and sections that at least one of them has to sound good to someone. “Giorgio by Moroder” is based on a repeating synthesizer pattern, but that pattern gets changed and rearranged enough that the song never feels tedious. The inclusion of an interview with Moroder seems annoying at first, but it’s also important to the song itself; Moroder talks about music’s power to innovate and create new experiences, and that’s exactly what the song does. (Plus it’s funny to hear him say “Everybody calls me Giorgio.” He’s so humble.) In all, it’s probably one of the shortest-sounding 9-minute songs out there. “Doin’ It Right” feels like it doesn’t belong on the album, sounding more modern and less Daft Punk than ever before, but since it’s a damn good song I don’t think I have any right to complain. Panda Bear’s vocals are perfect. And “Contact,” the album’s only sample-based song, simply sounds huge, closing the record on an energetic high note.

Time may tell if Random Access Memories will be seen as a career highlight or a curious misstep, but for the time being, it’s Daft Punk’s most interesting and musically varied release, at the very least, and it contains some of their strongest material yet. It won’t hit you on first listen, but even if you still don’t like it, you’ll at least be able to appreciate what Daft Punk is doing here. It’s an involving, well-crafted record all around, stuck in the sounds of the past and yet hinting at how good music can be in the future.

I don't know why exactly I read TIME magazine. Perhaps it's because it's a way to make myself feel superior to the other teenagers who spend their time going to parties and other socializing events. After all, it is written by the intellectual elite, as evident by the articles talking about Hollywood films and petty celebrity gossip. Lately, an article had been catching the eye of many internet goers. I wasn't exactly sure why that was, mainly because there were a lot of edits of the cover circulating the Web. Finally, I found the actual magazine lying on the floor, covered in a boot print. It read, The Me Me Me Generation, written by some geezer named Joel Stein. He called us "millennials...lazy, entitled narcissists". It also said that we lived in our parents' basements. After reading the article...or should I say skimming through to the important bits, I felt the need to write my feelings about it. I wasn't really sure what to feel about it, pushing myself to write about it in a Starbucks cafe is enough work already. By the end, I'm sure you'll all agree with the brilliance that I pose in the following paragraphs. You have to, I deserve your attention!



First and foremost, Stein says that we are incredibly obsessed with ourselves. Now, I don't think that I'm that wrapped up with my own personal matters. I don't spend all of my time posting pictures of myself on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and speaking about my point of view on a popular matter in the hopes of getting an answer. I only do that most of the time. The rest of the time is dedicated to playing video games and procrastinating. That describes not only me but other millenials. We're busy in our own little bubbles, playing on our phones and can't be forced to deal with crazy adult things like a "mortgage" or "student loan debt". Well actually, we have to deal with the latter because we need to focus on how we can balance that as we look for a job in such a terrible economy. Oh, I'm sorry, why am I worrying about myself when I should be worrying about the problems that the economy is causing to everyone else? I'm just proving Joel right.



At the end it's all the technology's fault for this. All these cellphones and tablets have hooked us into doing nothing more than babble incoherently about ourselves and push off more urgent matters. It has perpetuated our sloth and has fed our ego. Why bother thinking about how to make the world a better place for our children when we can just wait ambitiously for a new message from Facebook? That requires creativity, and technology has robbed us from that ability. I didn't know what else to do with Legos other than make towers, how can you expect me to find new ways to deal with a problem. There's no other way we can use the vast amount of resources that are available to us with the touch of a button if it doesn't involve reality TV hijinks. Technology is a manipulative plague on this generation, and it's doing nothing but create more problems.

There's no denying that there's a lot of issues that we millenials are going to have to face. Climate change in the environment being caused by years of pollution, a crumbling economy that seems to only reward the rich and overpopulation. That sure is a lot that we have to deal with, shame there's no app to solve any of these things. Even though the big J.S says in the end that we may have a chance of fixing everything, it's so completely obvious that what he really means is that the human race has finally reached it's peak and the only way we're going is down. Into the ground. Let's face it, we don't know how to push for greener initiatives, policies that distribute the wealth more among each other and...well, I'm not even sure how to fix the third issue! Why can't the older people fix our problems? It's not like we made the mess! Okay, maybe we had a small part in it. A quarter of a part in it. Half of it. Alright, fine, we had everything to do with it. But what are we gonna do about it? Rebel? Hah, you must be crazy!



In the time of the millenials, we're as complacent as Owen Wilson's acting. Any time we try to rebel for a cause, we lack the proper energy to show our passion for our fight. You remember Occupy Wall Street? That failed not because the rich people wanted to distract the middle class from just how much they were ripping the common man off or because police were shutting down the protest. It's because we didn't put our foot down hard enough. How about Kony 2012? That was a disaster. Joseph Kony truly was a dangerous war criminal and we just let him run free, naked on the streets, like the maniac he is. There's too much apathy in our generation and Ol' Jo sees that. We'd much rather just ignorantly follow the whims of our parents rather than try to change anything. That's why Republicans have absolutely no problem winning the youth vote. With our line of thinking, it's no surprise that it'll take two more centuries until homosexuals get the rights they deserve, provided that we last that long. How can we hope to fix the larger issues when we can't even let people marry whoever they want?


Stein's article has shown me the light. A small, dim light that goes farther away as I desperately try to reach it.   There's nothing left to hope for in this dull and dreary world where the only ones that possess the information necessarily for our survival are retiring and/or turning senile. Why should I even bother anymore? This whole generation is focused on the latest entertainment instead of just how terrible we're going to have in a few years. Once we do finally get in the positions of power that could help us to find way to combat the pressing issues of the world, we won't be able to manage our resources properly. We'll want to complain to someone else and make them do our job for us like it was a school project that we handed to our parents. Except our parents won't be there to handle the dangerous tools. They'll be having far too much trouble even trying to chew their own food. Oh god, why does it have to be this way?

Wait, what am I saying? I'm a millenial. I have inventive ideas. I've had intelligent conversations with others that had nothing to do with whatever filth is on the TV. Sure, I like to post pictures of myself and talk about what I've done on Twitter, but so do people that aren't in my generation. It's not because we're self-absorbed, we just live in a generation we're it's easier for information about ourselves to spread about the world. We're not entitled because we're lazy, it's because we're sick of how the system is nowadays. We all feel the need to ask for something from the government, whether it's the early 1900s or the early 2010s. It's called a democracy for a reason, because it's run by the people. We may not have success rebelling in the conventional ways, but we still want change. That's precisely why Obama got to where he is right now, because he promised just that. And guess what? It's not enough. Joel Stein has no true concept about how we truly are. He can wave his statistics about how "58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982" (which by the way, he probably pulled out of one of his very objective sources, The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeapordizes Our Future (Or, Don’t Trust Anyone Under 30)) and the like all around the place, but he doesn't know about our souls, our passions. I could do the same research that he did by staring at a TV screen for hours on end. As he so emptily shoehorned on to the cover to convince others that what he wrote wasn't just a rant, we shall "save [them] all".



Ah, forget it, I'm going to be completely frank with you. I have no idea what's going to happen in the future. The older generations are well-known for looking down at the younger heirs of the planet and rolling their eyes at whatever popular trends we follow. They complain about how ill-prepared, naive and idiotic the teens of today are and anticipate that the clock for humanity will be ticking it's last seconds soon. We millenials are not the first to face this though, as past generations have faced the same age-related prejudice. They probably didn't like such a sweeping generalization and fought hard to defy them. Look what they're doing now, they're pushing those same complaints onto us. While we can look at it as cranky pessimism, our slump has become deeper with the matter of climate change. Perhaps those coots aren't so crazy to call us youngsters "dumb whippersnappers". What they forget (aside from their teeth) is that they're still in the seats of power. Anyone these days can spew their opinion and throw surveys and tests around claiming that it proves the path to come, whether they're young or old. But like the weathermen on the local news channel, they could get their prediction wrong. We all have to wait until we take hold of the reigns of government and business and see what we come up with. If we can't handle the problem, we'll blame in on our children. If everything goes well, we can rub it in the faces of the folks at the retirement homes. You just have to give us a bit of TIME.